I Can’t Stop Dreaming About My Ex (Who I Don’t Want Back)

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. If you’ve got a good one, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg just might tell you what it means! Click here to submit yours (18 and older only for dream interpretations, please). This week, a reader asks Lauri:

Lately I’ve been having my ex-boyfriend pop up in all my dreams. We were together for two years but we broke it off. I’m with a new guy for about 4 months now. In one dream my ex is trying to hook up with me and I laugh at him and say “Are you kidding me? This (motioning to my body) isn’t for you. It’s for my boyfriend. He treats me so good.” In another dream my current boyfriend and I move into our own apartment that happens to be directly next to my ex and his new girlfriend. In that dream I felt this need to impress him but I know that in waking life I would 1000 times over choose my new BF over my ex. It’s all just so confusing.

Lauri:  Since it sounds like this is a fairly recent ex, I would bet there is something from that relationship you are still holding on to. Sure, you are totally over him but you may not be totally over something he did or how the relationship met its demise… and so your dreams are trying to help you with that. Let me show you how. 

In the first dream your ex is trying to hook up with you. It is important to keep in mind that he is not playing himself in the dream but instead symbolizes whatever it is you are still holding on to: anger, resentment or distrust, for example. So this first dream is showing you that it’s really that anger, resentment or distrust that is trying to hook on to you and interfere with your current relationship.  

In the second dream you move next door to your ex. You know the saying, “He’s living rent free in your head?”  Well this illustrates that beautifully. There is something in relation to your ex that you are allowing to live in your head. Your dream is warning you that you need to “move” on from it or it will begin to affect your current relationship. So ask yourself what remains from your time with your ex; what is it you keep rehashing in your head. Is it a constant need to one up him? Is there something you just can’t seem to forgive?

Whatever it is, THAT is what you need to release because your dreaming mind seems to feel it is becoming — or could become — an intrusion in your current relationship. I really hate to resort to quoting Frozen here but here goes: “Let it go, let it go.”

Visit Lauri’s site, WhatYourDreamMeans.com, for even more dream interpretations! If you want to be able to figure out your own dreams each morning, check out her latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, which will give you the tools you need to become a dream expert. You can see all of Lauri’s books here. And hey, if you want your very own pin-up painting of you or your luvva (either vintage or modern), Lauri can do that, too! 

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