Olivia Wilde’s Vaginalogue

photo via flickr

Olivia Wilde is one of those actresses we are completely familiar with (thanks Us Weekly!) without having a clue about her career. We’re assuming she plays exotic queens in far off lands from long, long ago whose beauty knights kill for? And apparently she was in some TV show? Suffice it to say, she’s no Meryl Streep—or Lena Dunham, for that matter. So we were surprised to hear that she dished some seriously deep thoughts about her vagina in a recent appearance. The event was “These Girls,” a night of monologues hosted by Glamour magazine at Joe’s Pub in New York City earlier this week. She told the audience (which included her current boyfriend, SNL’s Jason Sudeikis) that when her previous marriage ended, “I felt like my vagina died. Turned off. Lights out. … And you can lie to your relatives at Christmas dinner and tell them everything on the home front is just peachy. But you cannot lie to your vagina.”

In an interview with NY mag’s Vulture after the show, she elaborated, explaining that you need to listen to your vagina if you want to know if a relationship is right: “Sometimes your vagina dies. Then you know it’s time to go. There’s no reason to sacrifice your womanhood and femininity for some sort of weird feeling of responsibility to something that may not be right. I feel like far too many women do that. … [Men] are not allowed to be the only ones thinking with their genitals. We think with our pussies.”

She’s currently listening to her vagina and it’s telling her that she’s very happy with beau Jason Sudeikis:. “We have sex like Kenyan marathon runners,” she said. Buckets of sweat and zero body fat sounds kind of gross and unappealing, but we get where she was going with that.

So we’ve got to give mad props to Wilde for publicly promoting the idea that women want and need good sex, for admitting that we women do in fact all have vaginas, and for using the term unreservedly (yes, “vagina” is not a four-letter word, many thanks for not referring to it as a “va-jay-jay”). And we totally support the idea of getting out of a bad marriage if you are not happy or satisfied.

On the other hand, we do have to wonder if Wilde might just have been suffering the usual ebb of lust that naturally occurs in all long-term relationships. It’s easy to have marathon sex with someone you’ve been dating less than a year; much harder to sustain that with someone you’ve been married to for almost eight years — especially someone you married at the age of 19 before you had a chance to sow your wild oats (or should we say “Wilde” oats?), before your acting career totally took off and sent you to the epicenter of Hollywood glamour and celebrity. No wonder your vagina died in that youthful indiscretion of a marriage!

Now, we are not saying that all marriages have to last a life time — if you prefer serial marriages to simple serial monogamy, fine. If you try it once and realize it’s not for you, cool. But for any traditionalists out there, who believe in making a real go of the whole “til death do us part” thing, we would say the above justifies our long-standing advice:

  • Don’t get married young.
  • Play the field before you get married, safely and respectfully.
  • Don’t get married quickly, before you have a chance to figure out if you’re not only compatible sexually, but compatible after some of that new sexual passion fades.


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