Phrase of the Week: Sex Nerd

photo via flickr

We pride ourselves on knowing all the sex lingo — and where there isn’t lingo for something we’ve observed in the world of sex and dating, then we make it up ourselves. For example, three terms we coined in our book Rec Sex: An A-Z Guide to Casual Sex are benched (the state of being put on the back burner indefinitely by a casual sex partner); Donna (someone who acts as if a roll in the hay with them were season-finale material, à la Donna from 90210); and pre-nook (the casual-sex equivalent of the pre-nup, it verbally outlines both party’s expectations). But it turns out there’s a trend we neglected to categorize: the sex nerd. According to the San Francisco-based website Mission Local, the sex nerd is “an archetype that flourishes in the microclimates of San Francisco… The term does not apply to those who cultivate interesting sexual specialties but who manage to maintain a social life and interest outside of that specialty. Taxonomically, the sex nerd is the libidinal equivalent of a drama geek — so wrapped up in the set and costume design of sex that they forget there’s actually a play going on.”

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  1. My exboyfriend is a photographer and took a series of photos of fetishists, the way he described them was in those very terms, “nerds” or “geeks.” I think it’s totally true, whenever you get a person so focused on a subject it is pure geekery.

  2. I would have thought a sex nerd is someone who didn’t understand the things necessary to get someone interested in them sexually and as such was TOTALLY a virgin much to their own annoyance

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