Poll: Would You Cheat If You Could Get Away with It?
If you could cheat on your committed long-term partner, just once, and it was guaranteed they would never find out, you wouldn’t get an STD or have to deal with an unintended pregnancy, and you’d never see or hear from the fling again, would you?
Can’t see the poll? Click here to take it.
hell yeah, if i could cheat on him i would. i love him wit all my heart, i want to be with him forever.. but i need some excitement. and thats not someting i get often. if i could i would cheat, fer suree.
When My Man and I decided to become mongamous (about 4 or 5 years into our relationship) I made him a promise and he made me one. Only me for him, and only him for me. IMO, it’s the same as what marriage vows are supposed to say. We are married, now, but I think the conscious intention of MAKING A PROMISE to each other is stronger than a lot of people’s legal marriages, looking at the cheating rate and divorce rate in this country.
Not that I haven’t been tempted, when that happens, I remove myself from the situation, and make sure I am not in that situation or around that person again. You may not be able to control WHO you are attracted to, BUT you CAN control the situation and what you do to make sure you remain true to your monogamous lover and relationship promises. I am sure My Man has had similar temptations.
It’s just a part of being a sexual being. The temptation is normal, but the ability to say, “No, I love my lover too much to risk his love and our relationship for a fling.” that makes it work.
ive done it before and i regret it so my answer is no
Mari, then those people in ‘controlled, or black-mailed relationships’ should get OUT of them! Duh!! Why lie and cheat? Just get out of the relationship, and save yourself, and others. Cheating just causes pain, for the cheater, and the one being cheated on. And the ‘you only live once’ BS, yeah, live a good life, not a lying cheating life, because you only live once, make it a good life!!
Imagine that a woman is in a long-term relationship, but as the time goes by, the satisfaction from sex is minimal, and not getting better. A woman will eventually have enough.
I think that justifies a “trial” to find out whether the man is good her. So I would click “yes”.
Rei: I disagree with your statement:
“Why would you cheat on someone who gives you love everyday, passionate sex, and trust?? I guess to those who said ‘yes’ is in a bad relationship, aren’t happy, or just plane bored and lazy about ending the relationship. Cheaters are weak, unhappy, lazy people.”
I presume for most of those of us who clicked “yes” would do it because of the chance of never getting caught. Yes, I understand that the guilt would most likely get to most of us eventually – but you only live once.
You’ve forgotten to mention in your post those who are in a controlled relationship and those who are in a black-mailed relationship and would do something to have a bit of control for themselves. If you want to go and tell them that they are “weak” and “lazy” – be my guest.
I certainly wouldn’t.
How about this: The people who cheat can date other cheating, disgusting people. The people who do not cheat, and have morals, trust, and loyalty, can have the people with the same attributes.
Do to others how you would like to be treated. So, if you want to ‘BE’ cheated on, you should go find filthy cheaters; won’t last long since both of you will cheat on each other, and you have a never ending cycle. Maybe you’ll actually get a conscience, or a heart, and have a mature, worthwhile relationship and never cheat again.
“you cant get await with it the guilt is always there”
It seems you’re forgetting that there are some who don’t feel guilt, just as some people can’t see the color red.
My fiance would have had to PISS me off massively and even then I wouldn’t. I’d just drop his sorry ass and date someone who would make him jealous in the public eye. I’d much rather make a man jealous and regret losing me than just cheat. If I somehow (virtually impossible as my fiance is the most all-around attractive man in my mind) met a man who was amazingly amazing while in a good spot with my fiance, I would probably be tempted but I wouldn’t do it even if I could get away with it as it’d make me feel rather filthy. Frankly, I wouldn’t want my fiance to do that to me so why would I do that to him?
you cant get await with it the guilt is always there
As described in the question, there are no lasting consequences at all: nobody knows, nobody feels, nobody cares. Two bodies pass in the night.
This is not an affair: this is a nocturnal emission. As well feel guilt about a dream as about this. Even an interaction with a paid sex worker generates more emotion than this.
What is described is a dream, having nothing to do with the sweaty reality of our lives. This not “cheating” any more than a brief fantasy about a pretty girl seen out of the corner of the eye is cheating. It is simply something that will never happen and–as long as we’re people and not sex machines–shouldn’t happen.
Nigel.
Life is too short to do things you do not really wan to do, so if you feel compelled by society to have a girlfriend when in reality you do not like commitments, then stop mallingering and be a man. Stop misleading women into believing you are a relationship kind of guy when you are not.
It is ok to be noncommital, but it becomes a problem when you drag a woman with you into your world of falseness, false because you accept a commitment when you are not mentally able to perform.
Keith.
I am a man, young, full of testosterone, run, surf, box and practice Tae Kwen Do. I do not accept that explanation about testosterone being culprit for cheating. that is the excuse of the imbecile, the boorish and the mentally retarded.
Again, if you are not ready for a relationship, then do not mislead a woman into believing you are ready. Men like you are cowards that feel they will not be able to have a woman by their side, so you take one woman as your GF and then cheat, misleading the first woman into believing you are a man to trust when you very well know you are not capable of being trusted, and then cheating to prove to yourself that you are a man.
Insecurity, and that goes for both girls and guys that cheat, cowards and insecure inferior beings.
Nigel-
You may be completely right. However, I would urge you be honest enough to inform your partners that they have should have no expectation of exclusivity. See, if everybody knows and agrees to what the rules of the game are then it’s not ‘cheating.’ I think “polyamory” is what the kids call it these days. If you explicitly or implicitly give your SO reason to expect monogamy from you and then go astrayin’, that’s best termed something else. “Narcissist cowardice” comes to mind, but there are probably other descriptors as well.
Nothing in life is that simple. Time, circumstance, opportunity, time of the month, testosterone level, emotional level and sexual attractiveness stc all have a bearing on whether one would or would not indulge. Men are probably more likely to just because they are made that way. Talking about it in the cold light of day is a totally different ball game and one which is not necessarily going to elicit the correct answer.
For those women who “know” what their partner is thinking all the time and what they would and would not do, I commend them for their loyalty but they will never know what is actually in someone else’s mind at any given time no matter how much they think they do.
i have done it and would do it again life is far to short for a single partner relationship