The Wisdom of John Mayer, Tweeted

photo by Patty Keigan

Say what you will about John Mayer’s music — here marks the spot where Lo censored Em’s compliments about “Your Body Is a Wonderland” as a matter of principle — his Tweets are some of the funniest in the biz. (Okay, so he doesn’t have a lot of competition. Britney Spears: “How’s everyone’s 2010 going so far?”) Anyway, love him or hate him — or, most likely, a combination of the two — we thought you’d appreciate some of his Tweet-wisdom (twisdom?) on the topics of love, sex, bodily functions, and other important stuff. Here are a dozen of our favorites from the last month or so — you can follow him yourself at Twitter.com/JohnCMayer:

  1. What 1 area of your body gets touched the least? I’m going to guess sub-scrotal flange, but it could also be knee cleavage.
  2. If you call a girl 62 times and she’s sleeping, does it read in the morning as one missed call or 62? Asking for a friend.
  3. Waitresses of Vegas, be advised: I have no wife, children or endorsements. In other words, I have nothing to offer you.
  4. I wish I could take all you lonely hearts to a movie tonight. Maybe some Chinese food. Nothing crazy. [Tweeted Christmas Eve]
  5. It’s never the part of the karaoke where you’re singing. It’s the long instrumentals/solos that make you feel like a jack’s ass.
  6. I need to get back into the gym. I’m all for having boobs against my chest but not when they’re mine.

Read the rest of this list at SUNfiltered

One Comment

  1. LOL… I have been reading his posts for a year now and they almost always crack me up. He usually posts in the middle of the night so you have to wait til morning to get the good stuff.

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