Top 10 Worst Things to Hear on a First Date

photo via Flickr

Consider this advice on what NOT to say on a first (or second or third or fourth or fifth…) date:

  1. You remind me of my ex.
  2. I can’t stay out too late tonight — the season finale of “The Bachelorette” is on.
  3. Cutco knives are so awesome.
  4. I only cry during rom coms…and right after sex.
  5. I should warn you, my penis is unusually large.
  6. Contraception is not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.
  7. I can’t wait to show you my teddy bear collection.
  8. Just a sec, I have to text back my mom.
  9. The last novel I read? That one by Snooki.
  10. It’s chilly, I should have worn my cape.


  1. “I’m crazy”… (cackling laugh, forced thru frozen smile) “can’t say you weren’t warned!”… (beady eyes fixed, watch for any reaction)..

    (small talk… subject change… current event throw-away line)

    “I’m crazy!… can’t say you never knew!…”

    check, please

  2. Another “buzz kill” when someone tells you that yes they’ve had numerous partners in the past few years and no they haven’t been tested for std’s! Cuz there are quite a few ‘asymptomatic’ carriers in the world of sexually transmitted diseases.

  3. Whatever you do…don’t ask if there’s a spark! Got asked if there was a spark…was the most awkward uncomfortable reply ever…definitely no.

  4. Not gonna lie, I told my guy that I sold Cutco up front, except mine was to brag- sold over $30,000 in 4 months. Those knives ARE awesome! ๐Ÿ˜€

  5. Hey, what’s wrong with capes? They’re good enough for super heroes, they’re good enough for me. *grin*

  6. Hold on, we’re all assuming this is a date that’s going well! These are some of my go-to lines to bail! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  7. I too sold Cutco knives for 3 days in high school. Remember the rope-cutting demonstration? My friend’s dad sliced off a small bit of my finger tip during that part. My finger print now has a distinctive smooth area.

  8. Lmao! I sold Cutco too! I still have two of the knives and the scissors.

    Those knives are pretty awesome

  9. What’s wrong with teddy bears? I’m a perfectly straight male who happens to like them. ๐Ÿ™‚

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