Training Your Partner in Bed Is Just Like Training a Puppy

photo via flickr

Reader Hannah said the following in response to the post, “Your Call My Husband Won’t Even Try to Give Me an Orgasm”:

If there was no child involved, I’d say DUMP HIM… I mean that is bad. Very seriously bad. And it’s not as if you haven’t tried to tell him. Most men would be mortified if someone told them they sucked in bed, and they’d make really sure they never did it again. But then again, most men care way too much about making women orgasm. If he doesn’t care at all, well, then I wouldn’t even see the point of having sex with him at all.

But keep in mind that training people is just like training a puppy:

  1. You need to be absolutely consistent and clear.
  2. You need to be overflowing with praise for good behavior.
  3. You should never ever reward bad behavior. Never.

Just think, if you pulled a slot machine 100 times, and then on the 101st time, you won… well next time, you’d be willing to pull it 102 times. You can’t just get good behavior once or twice and then let him slip back into bad habits. Either you get the foreplay you need, or there is no sex. PERIOD!!! You don’t have to be mean, but just say, “You know, I’m not really ready yet, but maybe if you tried X, Y, or Z for a while, I might be able to have intercourse after that.”