We Always Knew Modern Design Was Bad for Your Love Life

The things that once so defined him — shag carpeting, Room & Board sofas, monogamy — now suffocated him. — via UnhappyHipsters.com

If you’ve ever browsed the pages of, say, Dwell magazine you will know that they have been able to photograph some absolutely fantastic architectural designs and some very well decorated homes. From the funkiest peel and stick wallpaper patters to stunning light fixtures, from retro furniture to handcrafted rugs, each home is styled and decorated beautifully. Thousands use these images for inspiration for how they would like to have their own home decorated because they really are breathtaking and this magazine helps us appreciate some really great designs.

However, if you have ever wondered how the hell anyone could even fart in such an antiseptic environment, let alone have an orgasm, then you’ll love UnhappyHipsters.com as much as we do. It’s a fantastic site that uses humor to bring these images alive! The site is genius in its simplicity: photos from the pages of Dwell magazine and, okay, mostly just Dwell, with one-liner captions guessing at the inner life of the dwellers in question. Sure, we’ve always been proponents of clearing clutter — especially in your bedroom — in order to focus on the task at hand, whether that task is dinner, email, romance, or an orgasm. But there’s lack of clutter and then there’s austere design and architecture that seems to scream, “I DARE you to have fun in here!” Here’s a sampling from a world in which “wet spot” is a dirty word:

She had this uncanny way of making him feel so, so small.

Everyone always leaves.

Lying on his back, watching the passing clouds, he worried over the Nathaniel Hawthorne lookalike’s role in this grim threesome.

Ever the realist, he built his table for one.

It was unclear how her life had become so riddled with obvious metaphors.

Even in your company, I feel so alone.

This post is a part of Sundance Channel’s Naked Love Blog
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  1. This is so right. My ex loved this type of design. Now I understand what was wrong with our love-life. Maybe next time i’ll find a guy who’s into Metro-Messy.

  2. Where do y’all *find* these? This is brilliant! I showed it to my brother (an artsy f*&%) and he immediately sent it to about 30 people. Thank you.

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