the seahorse is the only male animal that gets knocked up
Dear Em & Lo,
The way I see it, there is simply no such concept as male reproductive rights. If your girl gets pregnant and wants to keep the baby, congratulations, you’re a dad! Pay up, sucker. If you want to keep it but she wants to abort it, tough luck — there goes your progeny. The only thing a dude can do is rubber up and screen for sexual partners with similar values.
We get it, the baby’s growing in the woman’s body, and ownership is 9/10ths of the law. But come on, now. There’s got to be some kind of reasonable compromise. I don’t have an easy answer to this, and I doubt anyone else will either. Men will continue to get a raw deal here. But could you open the topic to discussion?
— Cat Amongst the Pigeons
Consider it done! What do you think, do we need male reproductive rights? And if so, what would they be? Let the debate begin (no throwing things, please) in the comments section below.
I have been upset about this for years! Of course men should have rights! We both lay down together, we both decide we’re going to have sex, we both know the possible outcome… Why then do we women get to pull the trump card?? If he doesn’t want the baby, looks like I’ll be raising the baby on my own with no help from him. (a lot of us do that now anyway)If he wants the baby and I don’t, well I knew what could happen, so I should have the decency to carry the baby to term, in as healthy way as possible, and turn the baby over to him at birth. Then he can raise the baby without my help. Just because we’re the oven, doesn’t mean the baker should get burnt. That’s my humble opinion anyway.
Wow, that’s written pretty poorly. Sorry about that. But I’m sure you get my point.
We will forever get the raw deal now. Until humans remember our place the world will remain junk. Scorned women don’t realize that it is their choice as well. They don’t realize that there are women out there that do nothing but prey amongst the males, getting pregnant, getting child support and government assistance. That is all they do (they being the ones I just specified for all those fem-Nazis out there). Its no wonder males are moving towards what they are. You have taken advantage of us since the beginning and all we did was love you. Every single great man met his fall because of a woman. Look at your histories. On the other side, there was a time when women were respectable and trustworthy, I would guess about 5 or 6 centuries ago, but there was a time. I could be wrong on that point though. You are too easily influenced. Too easily drawn in to deviant and deceitful behavior. To clarify, I am not defending men in general. To those that are too short-sited to see the point I will stated it very clearly. We had control for thousand of years because we did it best. It maintained a unique set of priorities and disciplines for both and the family unit was successful and supportive. Everyone now is so concerned about having power that no one can see or take on anything beyond themselves. Change comes from within though and in a world full of self-important egotists, change will never come. When the world is finished shaking, you will all fall away. Blessings and good day. I hope for the best for all of us.
Well now, waaaa waaaa waaaaa. Historically it’s been the woman who has always gotten the short end of the stick. Has to quit school and raise a child, people think negatively about her and the guy gets off scott free. Here’s some simple advise. Keep your pants on and you won’t find yourself in this situation. Yes, possession is 9/10’s of the law. Sorry!
The comments are very interesting. I was unable to find strong answers for any of the following:
Why are women given the right to have casual sex but also have the choice to abort or give away the child – but men are not rewarded this same right?
Also, a further point, when one catches a cold – is it the victims fault for not washing his hands, not being warm enough, etc.? Or is it the fault of the person where the germs originated?
If women are given the choice to control what happens to their own bodies as far as abortion is concerned – why are they also not expected to control their bodies before they actually get pregnant?
Yes, males should have reproductive rights when the situation is a short term heterosexual relationship. The male should not be party to be extorted financially by another person or have that person benefit financially as a result of a one sided decision. Golddiggers beward. It encourages unprotected sex as a devious woman can profit from her pregnancy as doe the lawyers who get involved in the litigation.
Interesting article…
The rights lie with both parties for me
I’ve read through several of these comments and am fascinated. What I have learned from my own experience, is that even when you do discuss with your partner (even someone you’ve known for 10 years) your stance on abortion/keeping a child and the fact that neither of you are using birth control — and you’re both in your forties —once the woman gets pregnant, it’s like all of those discussions did not take place. AFTER I became pregnant, the man who said he was “ok with me getting pregnant” and “would never ask me to have an abortion,” suddenly told me to get an abortion or he and I would no longer be a couple. Although the timing of my pregnancy was not ideal (when is it quite frankly?)I knew I wanted a child, and he did too. Not just from what we said, but from what we did (it takes two, period). I have never agreed that women are victims in terms of becoming pregnant and men leaving them to raise the child solo, and I don’t feel victimized now. However, I did have the conversation(s) with my partner, and he chose to ignore them. I’ll end with this, a man may not be able to decide whether or not a woman keeps a child, however a woman can not decide to keep that child from the man. If the man wants to be part of the child’s life, the woman can’t do anything (legally anyway) about that.
I disagree. My ex fiancé took our child and herself clear across the country immediately after the child’s birth. I was never given a chance to be a father and now our daughter is 17. I still have never met her or talked to her. My ex told our daughter that her father is dead and I’m sure she doesn’t even know I exist. I didn’t/don’t have the money for lawyers and chasing her across the country, but it has always bothered me that she stole our child away. I would have gladly paid child support to be in my kids life, however she didn’t want that because she wouldn’t been able to take the child and run. Fathers have zero rights.
Your comment/story makes me sad. Im sorry that happened to you.
Yes, we need male reproductive rights. I am a pro-choice, hetero woman. You are right, ownership is 9/10 of the law (I am an attorney). However, there are women out there who will lie and connive to get themselves pregnant. It’s true, although it seems the majority of the female community doesn’t know how to deal with these derelicts who drive all of our numbers down. My suggestion has always been male reproductive rights. I say, if you want to bear junior so bad, you be prepared to pay for junior yourself. It’s the standard that I have always held myself to, and I think that, as a collective, it’s time that we made it our own. After all, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander!
Men have several choice – you can’t say they don’t. Get it fixed, wrap it up, or keep it in your pants. Those are choices. They can also take custody and collect child support just as well.
This article is really interesting. The writer of this question poses an interesting topic. The answer to this is very simple. Anytime two people have sex, unless one of those people cannot have children, there is always a chance that a woman can get pregnant. Men know this and women know this. In having sex, this is a chance that you take. Whether protection is used or not, there is still a chance that a life will be created. The problem is that sex is trivialized. Sex is a big thing. It is not just recreation or exercise. If a man wants to guarantee that he will not have a child, outside of not having sex, having a vasectomy or date women who cannot have children. If you are not ready to become a father, then be selective with who you have sex with. This may mean that there are less one night stands and spontaneity and just maybe you might have to get to know the person. You might have to have to tell them your feelings about procreation during the time you get to know her. Let her know up front that you do not want children at this point and that you do not want to be a part of the child’s life, nor to you want to support the child, financially or otherwise.
This might limit your chances at sex but it will also limit your opportunities to produce offspring.
I do want to say though that children are innocent and whether you want the child or not, it is a cruel thing to participate in bringing a child in the world but if a child is produces, you would leave the child fatherless.
I read the link that Toad submitted. It was very disturbing. It’s the equivalent of the KKK burning a cross on someone’s lawn and getting mad because you call them racist. There were some folks who politely disagreed on some points and were called names like “faggot,” or “she-male.” It’s really nasty stuff. Why on earth did you attach this?
Um, Toad. Were you attaching that article because you wanted to show how whacked the author is or because you’re a TRUE BELIEVER?
If you’re a TB, Women don’t have teeth down there. You need some therapy in regards to your anger issues. Are you going to call me names now? If you do, you’ll only make me right. Watch out for the anger issues, dude. They’ll eat you alive. If you’re not a TB, please note that the first sentence of this paragraph was an “IF” statement. If you’re not a TB, thank you for the illumination into the world of misogynistic crazy men.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/04/13/AR2010041302445.html
Sorry. Here’s the website.
I attached an article about Baby Emma.
I don’t know the dynamics of the people involved. If he was a really bad guy, I might have done the same thing.
When I was 25, I lived with an abusive and controlling man. I skipped a period. I realized that my life would be a living hell if I had a baby with this man. My friend and I worked out a plan to go to a clinic to terminate the pregnancy while he was at work. As it turns out, I wasn’t pregnant, just very stressed from my bad relationship. The plan worked though. I cleared out my stuff and moved into another place while he was at work. I didn’t leave a forwarding address or phone number.
The child is the most important. Oh KentuckyLiz, shove snip-snip after you research the real pain of several men who’ve had vasectomies – not the smiling article that says it’ll be so much easier for the men.
Okay, on the the kids. Unwanted kids – can anything be sadder?
In first trimester if both parents don’t sign a document saying they want the child then both should be on required to pay for abortion. That is the only fair way to the children and the parents. The woman’s body yes. No arguing there. And the man’s body in terms of labor to earn more and perhaps divide his future family’s (saying the first mother does not want him as her husband but onlt the child) income while “doing the right thing” that he had no choice in.
I really do not think one parent should have more choice than another, because one endures initial suffering – very respected and life-threatening at times) for 9 months. There really is long-suffering when anyone is a parent. Men are not all punks. While I never faced this because I married and later fell in love – took about 22 years but it’s true – I did suffer quite a bit. The tiniest part but perhaps an eye opener is being ignored by 2 of the 3 children, 2 whole years when I wanted to hug them, for the first year of their lives. Lots of hugs after, though. And the never-ending knowledge that if we fail, it’s my fault and mine alone. No one ever blames the woman. Somehow I stayed, and stayed, and stayed, and stayed true and with a standard, a wee bit dominant cause I don’t go the other way, created all my dreams coming true.