Your Call: How Do I Find Out If My Co-Worker Digs Me?

computer_hearts_postitsphoto by mtkopone

Dear Em & Lo,

I like a guy that I work with (I’m an office assistant and he’s a mechanic) but I’m not 100% sure that he likes me back. I don’t get many opportunities to talk to him privately at work as other people are quite often around, including his mother who works in the office with me, which can make things awkward. I constantly catch him staring at me when he walks past my office, and he makes a point of saying goodbye to me when I’m leaving work, even if it means going out of his way to do so. One night a few months ago I went back to his place and we ended up lying in his bed, both topless, with him resting his head on my stomach and later he kissed me but that was as far as it went. We’re both shy and neither of us mentioned that night after that. He has recently told me that he doesn’t speak to many females and that he plays dumb so that he won’t get hurt. I’m not sure if he was speaking in general or referring specifically to me. For months I’ve been wanting to find out where I stand with him — does he like me and, if so, what does he want this to be? So, my question is, how can I ask him without making myself sound like a complete and desperate idiot?

— Too Shy-y-y


  1. I don’t get it. How did you get over to HIS place … by magic? He must have asked you over, in which case, he ain’t a shy guy! Otherwise he might have perceived that you “forced” yourself on him … or come on a bit strong?

    And you got TOPLESS? And lay in his bed? With him? Why? How did that happen? You’re definitely not shy. I can’t imagine that you both silently took your tops off and climbed in that bed together. Someone said something. Who initiated it … you or him? If he did, he’s into you. If you did, and he didn’t bang your brains out … he’s either gay, or he wasn’t that into you, or he just likes you as a friend.

    Listen, if I was a guy and a woman came over to my place, took her top off and got in my bed … it’s blindingly obvious that she’s into me. And if I was into her, she definitely wouldn’t have had the chance to leave that bed without a “hot test drive”.

    Or let’s suppose the timing just wasn’t right, you can bet your bottom dollar that a couple months would not be me passing by without me trying to get her back into my bed to do her.

    Read the tea leaves baby. He’s already told you where you stand with him … he’s gay and he wants you as a friend. And while I’m at it, why do women fall for some of the BS lines guys give them … “he doesn’t speak to many females and he plays dumb so he won’t get hurt.” Yeah, right!

  2. I’m a shy guy myself.The best thing you could do is to be direct with him.Either ask him or have him over for diner [it can be take out you dont have to cook] dont make his favorite meal either.BE DIRECT!!! He probly is much like me and can’t tell the diff’ between just flirting and being honestly into him.But for godsake don’t have sex the first few dates.However,be a flirt not a prude

  3. I am another shy guy. Every woman I’ve dated has made the moves on me. I can also say that his actions show that he is into you.

    Let him know that you are into him. Be as obvious as possible.

  4. Didn’t know what to decide on the poll (any of the first three), but (a) he sounds like one of those guys you are going to have to make the first move on, (b) when his mom is NOT around working with you, and (c) if y’all got TOPLESS, I think he likes you.

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