All posts by Em & Lo

Poll: What Do You Think About a Girl with Two Guys?

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photo via flickr

Last week, our Wise Guy Max wrote the following line about female-male-male threeways:

Face it: a lot of guys go by the super homophobic rule of “as long as the balls don’t touch,” so you’re much better off finding two guys that are as comfortable with one another’s body as they are with their joint egos.

It started a long heated debate in the comments section, which we’ve abridged here for easier reading:

Johnny: Not wanting to rub my balls against another man’s balls makes me “super homophobic”?

Rolando: I’m thinking Max was attempting to condemn the homophobic presumption that a man being in any way intimate with or around other men is “totally gay” and to be avoided at all costs, even if it would net you a hot sexual encounter. He was condemning that belief and the “hetero dudes” that share it, not every hetero dude…

Elizabeth: …Just because a man is honestly not interested in a sexual encounter with another man does not make him narrow minded. It just means he knows what he wants. I mean, do you believe someone who chooses that they have no desire to participate in watersports or BDSM or anal sex is narrow minded? I personally believe that sexual preferences are okay… there are certain acts that I will never try, because I know that even if it might feel good, it’s not something I am comfortable doing. I think that I am being true to myself, and the same goes for Johnny. If he knows he has no desire to be with another man in any way, not because it makes him “gay” but because he has no desire for that… it just means he knows what he wants and respects his own boundaries.
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Who Knew Iowa Was So Cool?

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corn1 photo by Kables

When you think of Iowa, what do you think of? Corn, perhaps. Field of Dreams. The cornfields in Field of Dreams. Famous Iowan natives named “Wood,” like American Gothic painter Grant Wood and that adorable little hobbit, Elijah Wood. Admit it: if you were to play a word association game with Iowa, your next word would be something like “khakis” — comfy, bland, safe and unexciting. So can you believe that Iowa just became the first state in the Midwest to approve gay marriage?!? Not just civil unions, but gay marriage…

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

Dream Interpretation: My Pregnancy Made Me Gay in My Sleep

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photo by dizznbonn

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a straight woman asks Lauri:

So I was about 6 months pregnant and I started having sex dreams of other women. In the latest one I was making out with an old friend whom I haven’t been around in 3 years and I was touching her boobs and I was getting really turned on and then I started to masturbate myself and I had an amazing orgasm. I have been racking my brain about these sex dreams about women and I keep thinking that I’m attracted to everything and everyone! I have been in a relationship with my fiancé for 4 years and we have an awesome son who is 1 and I was hoping you could help me out here. Thanks a lot! (more…)

Merriam-Webster Accused of Pro-Gay Agenda

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dictionary photo by greeblie

While the rest of us were battling it out over gay marriage in courts, newspaper editorials, elections, marches, and barrooms across the country, a little company called Merriam-Webster was quietly making their own call. So quietly, in fact, that even though their dictionary updated the definition of marriage back in 2003 to include same-sex couples, it wasn’t until this month that anybody really noticed. That’s because the conservative site WorldNetDaily finally caught on to the fact that in M-W, marriage is no longer “reserved for the institution that has held families together for millennia.” Oh, that’s right: Dictionaries describe things as they actually are — rather than the way the small-minded minority wishes they were. (All the major dictionaries now include same-sex duos in their definition, although only two three four U.S. states do.) All of which confirms to us that anti-gay crusaders don’t read the dictionary nearly as often as they should. Next stop: sodomy.

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Blog Snog (04-03-09)

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vagina_gown

Thanks to Best Week Ever for downloading this pic before the dress company photoshopped out the pink satin labia.

A weekly roundup of sex- and love-related posts from some of our favorite blogs and websites:

Best Week Ever finds the perfect classy yet affordable vagina prom gown (not a joke — it’s actually just a really unfortunate design accident). We like to call it the Donna Martin.
YourTango has 7 excellent suggestions to distract yourself during a dry spell.
Feministing brings us the sexist tech tool of the day.
The Frisky rounds up Hollywood’s oddest hookups…though for the record, we think it’s totally awesome that Cloris Leachman and Gene Hackman once made sweet music.
Thanks to College Candy for reminding us that April is STD Awareness Month. Got herpes?
The good women of Jezebel have posted a clip from The Doctors about female ejaculation, just in case any of you still think it’s a myth. Studly and sexy MDs in labcoats say it’s totally real!
Did you guys know that April 15, 2009 is Same Sex Kiss Day? Well you do now! You’ve got a week and a half to find someone to buss. Hey, it’s better than stressing out about the other thing you have to do on that day.

Facebooking the One That Got Away

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photo by sixeight

A recent article in the NY Times magazine addressed the Faulknerian aspect of the “undead past” on Facebook, while asking what the 25 million Facebook users under 25 could possibly be doing on there: “What do they have to look back on?” Because one of the primary reasons to log onto Facebook (go on, admit it) is to look up your old high school crush — the one who got away. We don’t care if you’re happily married with three kids…you’re still curious. But if you’ve been on Facebook since you were 12, how could anyone ever “get away”? We’re a dying breed — the last generation who will experience the sublime joy of logging on to discover that the asshole who abandoned us in the middle of prom now sports bad hair plugs.

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

Will the HPV Vaccine for Boys Make Them Sluts? Ha!

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vaccine photo by zmxncbv.com

When the relatively new HPV vaccine Gardasil came on the market for girls a few years ago, conservatives got their panties all in a bind over the possibility that it would give sweet, innocent P.Y.T.s permission to do it. Now that the vaccine is being considered for boys, no one seems too worried about their purity being tarnished. According to the Washington Post, the big questions this time around are about safety and cost-effectiveness. (And who says feminism is obsolete?) In the article, Gregory D. Zimet, a professor of pediatrics and psychology at Indiana University, brings up an interesting point about about this question of whether it’s really worth it for the boys…

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

Ladies Only: When Was Your First Solo O?

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Ladies, how old were you when you had your first orgasm via masturbation? ( surveys)

Ladies, if you can’t see the poll, click here to take it. Guys, to take the same poll for gentlemen only, click here.

Guys Only: When Was Your First Solo O?

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Guys, if you can’t see the poll, click here to take it. Ladies, to take the same poll for gals only, click here.

Cougars Have Smarter Kids… But Do They Want Them?

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cougar photo by Harlequeen

A recent study found that men may have a biological clock after all: The children of older fathers were found to have lower IQ scores than those of younger dads. And this is in addition to earlier studies showing that schizophrenia and autism are more common in the offspring of men who were in their mid forties or older when they fathered them. But things get really interesting when you combine these results with the corresponding data for women, as our friend Emily Nussbaum at New York mag did: Older mothers have been shown to have smarter children.

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered.

Confession: My Boyfriend and I Have Crushes on Other People

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photo via flickr

Our contributor Kristine deGuzman, a junior at UC Berkeley, has a confession to make:

It was my roommate’s 21st birthday a few Fridays ago, so my roommates and I decided to throw her a massive birthday party at our apartment. My boyfriend opted to chill in my bedroom for most of the night, while I mingled with the throng of intoxicated co-eds crowding our kitchen. Several cocktails later, I found myself considering hooking up with four different guys and one girl. At least. And every time I had even the slightest urge to stick my tongue in someone else’s mouth, I would go into the bedroom and slur to my boyfriend something along the lines of, “There’s a cute boy/girl in the kitchen and I sooo want to sleep with him/her.” He would respond by smirking, patting me on the back and saying, “Go for it.”

But then, of course, we ended the night getting into each other’s pants.

This scenario happens a lot in our relationship, and not necessarily during drunken party scenes. Some days we just come home and talk about the attractive people in our classes or clubs who we’ve developed schoolgirl/schoolboy crushes on, and then end the conversation with sex. For example, one time I came home rambling on about this cute guy in my French class who was quite the charmer, and my boyfriend, determined to show him up, managed to charm me out of my clothing and onto his bed. Crafty, no? And while other couples work out or go wine tasting together, we Facebook stalk our crushes together, almost as a strange bonding ritual.
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Dear Em & Lo: Should I Tell My BF I’ve Been Faking?

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photo of Katz's Deli, where Meg Ryan famously faked an orgasm, by Aaron_M

katzs_deli photo of Katz’s Deli, where Meg Ryan famously faked an orgasm, by Aaron_M

Dear Em & Lo,

I am a college student, and have been with this guy for six months. The sex is absolutely amazing, we do it about four times a day average, but he has never made me orgasm through intercourse. My best conclusion is that I can only climax through clitoral stimulation. I have been faking my orgasms with him ever since the beginning and I get thoroughly frustrated with him at times but never mention anything. I just let it build up inside of me and sometimes put the tension into a stupid matter that turns into a fight.

I don’t know what to do! I wish I could just climax during sex. I feel like I can’t just come out and tell him that he never makes me orgasm, because I often tell him that my orgasms are earth shattering. I don’t want him to know that I have been lying. This guy means a lot to me. I have a feeling that we’ll be together for a very long time so I just want to fix this problem.

I often masturbate without him so it’s not like I’m completely orgasm deprived or my body’s incapable, but I want to be honest when I tell him that he made the earth move like no other. Is there anything I can do to make myself orgasm during intercourse?

Liar Liar Pants (Not Really) on Fire

Dear L.L.P.N.R.O.F.,

Here are your options:

Tell him you’ve been faking. Explain that you only lied because you were scared and insecure and you’re telling the truth now because he means so much to you and you feel he deserves the truth. Apologize profusely. Make him feel really special, like he’s the only guy who’s ever earned your trust enough to be told the truth, like he’s the only one you’ve ever met who’s man enough to handle the truth. (Do not tell him that other guys have been able to make you climax during intercourse, even if that’s the truth.) Explain to him that the majority of women (like 70%!) don’t climax from intercourse alone — it’s just the way our bodies are built. Then show him exactly how you do climax. And make sure he knows you’d love nothing more than to figure out various ways to get you off together, whether during intercourse or not. (more…)

Ladies: Do You Like Quickies?

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photo via flickr

Ladies, we’re working on an article about quickie sex and we’d love your feedback!

Do you like quickies, and if so, why?
How do you compensate for the lack of foreplay?
Would you have sex more often if it didn’t always take so long?
If so, is there a “nice” or “sexy” way to suggest that you just want a quickie — like when your partner is making the moves and you’re thinking you have to get up in five hours (or leave for work in 15 minutes)?
Do you feel different after quickie sex than you do after regular-paced sex?

Write to us with your thoughts on quickies here (pick “general site feedback”) — or friend us on Facebook and send it to us in a private message there. Anonymity guaranteed. Bonus points if you’re from the UK!

We're in Naked Love on the Sundance Channel Blog

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sunfiltered the Sundance Channel’s new blog

The Sundance Channel has just launched a spiffy new blog called SUNfiltered. It’s got posts from various writers (e.g. Andrew Hearst and our new BFF Bobbie Redford) on culture, film, green issues, design, music, and love — “naked love“, to be exact. Yours truly will be contributing to the saucier side of things (natch), so stay tuned for our regular Naked Love posts which will start here and end over there.

Our first post is on who has it worse when it comes to casual sex: guys or gals?:

For as long as women have talked about sex over cocktails, they have complained about the double-standard of casual boot-knocking: The more he does it, the more his buddies high-five him; the more she does it, the more her “friends” whisper behind her back about what a slut she is.

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered.

How Can I Have a MMF Threeway?

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photo via flickr

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks, “How can I can convince two hetero dudes to have a threeway with me?”

Straight Single Guy (Max): Barring the possibility that you could trick these “hetero” dudes into your lair (using beer, snacks or Ahnold movies) I’d say that your best bet is to try and wiggle your way into the arms of two friends or, even better, the bromance. Face it: a lot of guys go by the super homophobic rule of “as long as the balls don’t touch,” so you’re much better off finding two guys that are as comfortable with one another’s body as they are with their joint egos. After that, your best policy is honesty. You can’t be coy about getting two guys at the same time, so I’d say be up front: “If you boys want me, you’re going to have to share. I’ll be in that room. Come find me?” Oh, and please end any threeway with a lot of high fives. They’re free, and you deserve it.

Straight Married Guy (Ben): What you really need to do is figure out if the MMF threeway is a “Yes,” a “No,” or a “Maybe” for these guys. Yes? No problem — go for it. No? it’s never going to happen – stop wasting your time. Maybe? Well, then it’s negotiable. And, while it’s easiest just to come out and ask, you can also test the waters by sharing “a sexy dream you had,” or confessing a fantasy after a few drinks. If you want to get fancy, use a Yes, No, Maybe list and cover a ton of ground all at once. And when you get your answer, you’ll know how to proceed. The “Maybes” are the ones that need convincing and what that really means is setting some ground rules. Maybe it’s no guy/guy touching. Maybe it’s lots of touching but no kissing. Maybe it’s only one cock visible at a time. Whatever. If it’s a “Maybe” for your guy, the question becomes, “What do you need to make this threesome happen?” And that is a question that can be answered.

Ladies, Do You Enjoy Your PS Spot?

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spot photo by CarbonNYC

Have you even heard of the P.S. Spot? Well, just beneath a woman’s perineum (that short bridge of tissue between the vaginal opening and the anus) is a tightly packed tangle of blood vessels known as the perineal sponge (hence, the P.S.). Like other erectile tissue, this mass fills with blood upon arousal and can be sensitive to massage and pressure via the perineum, via the lower back wall of the vagina (opposite the G-spot), or via the anus. And just because you may have never known it had an actual name, doesn’t mean you haven’t been loving it for years. We’re looking for stories from women (and the guys who love them) who actively or accidentally have enjoyed this spot, who don’t like it at all, or who think it’s just one more unnecessary party trick to try in bed. Write us with your thoughts on the P.S. Spot here (pick “general site feedback”) — or friend us on Facebook and send it to us in a private message there. Anonymity honored. Bonus points if you’re from the UK!

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