photo by DVIDSHUB

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

My husband has been gone getting ready to deploy for Afghanistan and there have been some issues with us thinking about the other cheating. We both trust each other more than anything and know that neither one of us would do that, but the other night I was the one to have an intense dream about cheating:

I was at a hotel with my sister and she walked over to a group of good looking young people. While she was conversing, one of the young men came up and sat next to me and started talking like he knew me. The next thing I knew he was touching me and trying to kiss me. I never kissed him but his touch was very erotic to me, and it made me want to go all the way. He took off my clothes and I couldn’t decide if I wanted to or not. He was on top of me and I kept thinking about how my husband would feel and how I would feel if he was doing this. Before he went all the way I checked my phone and it wasn’t working. Then I woke up.

What could this mean because I really don’t think I would ever take a chance like that even if it came to me?

Lauri: First of all, please thank your husband for his service.  He’s very brave and his efforts are very much appreciated!  Second, don’t worry.  Yes, cheating dreams – no matter who is the culprit in the dream – are always unnerving.  But rest assured it rarely means an actual affair is going on OR that you are hankerin’ for a hunk of “strange,” as they say on Two and A Half Men!  What it does mean is that a very common issue is causing a very common dream.  One of the most common reasons we get a cheating dream is when there is a physical separation between the couple.  When one of the spouses travels a lot, when you are in a long distance relationship, even when you sleep in separate bedrooms, the cheating dream will raise its ugly head. Why? Because of the separation, whether it’s distance or circumstances, the inner mind feels “cheated” out of its time with your mate.

Yes, that underlying worry that one of you may get lonesome enough to cheat certainly does play into the dream, but there is always more to a dream than what it seems so let’s look at some of the specifics of yours.  The hotel is a temporary place of residence so that means, deep down, you know your separation from hubby is a temporary place to be in life.  The man in your dream is talking to you like he knows you because you two are indeed familiar with each other.  He is a part of you!  He’s your inner male, the part of you that can man up when you need to, be assertive, independent, etc.  You must have had to put your male energy to use some time before in life, and now it seems you are going to need to utilize it again so that old familiar male part of you is back and ready to get busy with you!  With hubby away, you’ll be taking on more so-called male roles. If you have kids, you’ll have to play Mom and Dad for a while. When something in the house breaks, you’ll have to fix it. You’ll have to manage the bills and squash the spiders and so on.  Your dream is telling you it’s time to unite those old familiar male qualities into your life now, just as you would accept a man into your body.

What is also interesting is where the dream ends…  the phone not working. That’s a good indication that there is a lack of communication somewhere.  Have you not communicated all your thoughts and concerns to your husband?  Or do you feel there are certain things he may not be communicating to you?  Be sure to get it all out and on the table before he leaves so that nothing is left hanging and you two can have peace of mind… or at least as much as you can have in this crazy world right now.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s free Dream Dictionary on her site.

image via John Haynes Photography

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I had a dream last night that I was shot twice in the chest. Right after being shot, I was sure that I was dying, and I called my mom on the phone to come see me. When she got there, I gave her a list of everyone that I wanted her to call and tell them that I was going to die. I don’t remember any specific people or names I mentioned. As the dream wore on, I still had the holes in my chest but the pain seemed to disappear and I was even walking around almost like I was fine, but still aware that I had been shot. That is when the dream ended. I didn’t end up dying in the dream.

Lauri: Sounds like you may have suffered a recent heartache. The chest is where the heart is and therefore often represents our feelings in a dream. Did someone shoot you down emotionally or say something that hurt your feelings? Your certainty that you were going to die suggests that in waking life you must have felt that your life would never be the same.

Your call to your mother was most likely a call you were putting out to your own nurturing self. It seems there were some emotional wounds that you needed to nurse. Interesting that the pain disappeared. Physical pain in a dream is connected to emotional pain in waking life. Clearly, the emotional pain let up, which helped you realize that you could indeed survive the situation. The holes in the chest however, indicate there may still be a certain level of emptiness you are feeling. Chin up! Time does heal all wounds.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s free Dream Dictionary on her site.

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

Just for some context: this was just after a fight where my boyfriend wanted to take a break, and I definitely didn’t. I’m notorious for starting little fights, and he’s notorious for escalating them. Obviously this puts a lot of the blame on me, because if I don’t start fights, he won’t escalate them! I finally convinced him that I wouldn’t start fights anymore, because they were making us both miserable. Right after that we went to sleep, and I had an incredibly intense dream:

I was working in what seemed like a department store with a girl who I’ve never seen before but was apparently my friend. Our manager was this guy that I was incredibly attracted to, in a way I have not felt in a VERY long time. I wanted him bad. He kept flirting with me, finding things for me to do with him so he could get me alone. He knew I had a boyfriend and I kept pulling away, flirting back and wanting to be close to him but not actually kissing him and trying hard to not do anything I’d have to tell my boyfriend about. I wanted to be close to him, but I knew I couldn’t and didn’t actually have sex or kiss the guy in the dream.

I woke up feeling incredibly guilty for “dream cheating” or almost “dream cheating.” I really wanted this guy in my dream, I was more attracted to dream guy than I’ve felt towards my boyfriend in a long time! And I feel absolutely terrible about it.

Lauri: Your dream is a fabulous example of how sleeping on (I prefer to say dreaming on) a problem can really bring about an answer.  Although, unfortunately, many of us don’t get the answer because dreams speak a different language.  Let me reassure you that this dream was nothing to feel bad about but rather was a pat on your back from your subconscious!

Whenever you are attracted to someone in a dream, they usually represent a quality that you would like for yourself in real life.  Look at who the object of your affection is… a manager.  He is not some guy out there waiting to steal your heart but rather he represents your own managerial skills.  In other words, he is the part of you that can – and did – manage your relationship.  Your ability to recognize that you are the one who starts the fights and your decision to work hard at not starting the fights anymore is how you have decided to manage the relationship.

And your inner mind is pleased and very much likes this managerial part of you, hence the strong attraction in the dream.  Also, notice how hard you try to NOT hook up with this guy is the dream?  That is directly connected to your trying hard not to engage in conflict with your boyfriend.  Your dream is letting you know that it’ll be tough, but you’ll “manage.”

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s free Dream Dictionary on her site.

photo by mrsraggle

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about love and sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

My husband passed away this past January and since then I’ve had a lot of dreams about him. This is the last one I had two nights ago: I was standing inside a building and saw my car in a parking lot when it started to hail. I saw my husband run up to it and drive it away. Next thing I know, he’s standing beside me in the building and starts handing out grey T-shirts to strangers (three women) and then gives me one that has the word “Arizona” printed on it. I smile at him and say thanks and then we start walking further into the building with a small crowd of people. This is the second time I’ve dreamt of my car and my husband in a stormy situation. What does this mean?

Lauri: I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My heart is with you. I am glad you are paying attention to your dreams right now because they can actually be a nifty little built-in healing mechanism in that they allow you to safely sort out your feelings and thoughts as well as help you to move through the grief. So let’s delve into this dream and see how your inner nuts and bolts are helping you to work through this really tough time.

The building represents the relationship you built with your husband. The storm and the hail is your current emotional state. You are currently trying to “weather” a downpour of depression and perhaps even a sense of growing numb or cold to things that used to interest you. Read the rest of this entry »

photo by elsie esq

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about love and sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I work a night job in a warehouse with a lot of men and I have become very fond of one man in particular. He is very good looking and goes out of his way to help me with a lot of things. But we are both married. I have been having reoccurring dreams about him. At first they were dreams of innocent conversations or just hanging out. Then they progressed slowly over many dreams into more and more intimate meetings, like snuggling and playing hide and seek from our partners.

The latest dream he finally made a move on me. We went to his home after leaving work together. As we walked out of work all our co-workers watched and commented under their breath about us like they all knew what was going to happen. On the way to his house we noticed my ex was following us.  When we got to his home we just hung out around the coffee table on the couch talking while his wife was in their bedroom sleeping and my ex was on the chair next to us. After a while his wife came in and threw a fit — he told her to deal, that he would be in later.

When I asked for him to help me with a drink in the kitchen he came up behind me and began to kiss me on my neck and down on my shoulders. As I turned around our lips met and it turned into a pretty hot make out session; all the while his wife is in the bedroom and my ex is the living room.  Something stopped us from going any further and I decided to leave. With no one knowing what had just happened in the other room we said our goodbyes smiling uncontrollably at each other and I left. Then woke up.

I am married, so why does my ex come into play and what does all this mean for my co-worker and me?

Lauri: No doubt you’ve entertained this idea in your head during waking hours so now your dreaming mind is entertaining the idea as well. One of the many purposes that our dreams serve is that of dress rehearsal, allowing us to safely go through a situation that could possibly happen in real life so that we can be prepared should it come to pass OR to learn from the dream that we ought to avoid the possibility at all costs.  I believe the latter is true for you.  Here’s why:  In the dream he made the move on you, which suggests that you would not likely make a move on him in real life so your dream is presenting to you what to expect if he were the one to make the move.

The dream takes place at his home so again, this is on his terms.  The co-workers are talking under their breath because if something ever happened, they may figure it out… if they haven’t already picked up on the chemistry between the two of you.  Your ex is following you in the dream for a good reason.  Why is this person an ex?  What broke you two up?  Can you apply that to this situation?  If not, then it may simply be the way your dreaming mind is trying to warn you that this situation could create another ex in your life… your hubby!

The wife is sleeping in your dream because she is asleep and unaware of the attraction between you and her husband.  But your dream is showing you what may come should she “wake up” to this reality… t’aint gonna be purty.  Your crush telling her to go away and deal with it is actually YOU telling yourself to put that thought away, don’t let the thought of his wife get in the way of your longing for him.

You ask him to help you with a drink because you thirst for him in waking life and you may imagine quite often how he could help you quench that thirst! The hot makeout session that ensues is not only you bringing to life what you keep in your head during the day, it also represents how hot you may get when you two have a waking life conversation, because kissing in dreams often is connected to conversation in real life because – like kissing – it also takes two mouths to communicate. Something stops you from going further in the dream because, deep down, you know the relationship as it is now should not go any further.

The point at which a dream ends is often the point – the message – your dreaming mind wants to leave you with.  You leave.  That means it is best to LEAVE well enough alone. You have an innocent crush, there’s not much you can do about that but you can do everything about leaving it at that, just a crush and nothing more.  Just remember, your ex was in that dream for a reason.  You don’t want to create another ex, do you?

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s free Dream Dictionary on her site.

photo by Donnaphoto

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about love and sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

Last night I had a dream where I was working at my mom’s job, I met this guy that works there and gave him my number. I then came home to my ex-boyfriend and he got mad about me talking to a guy, he got angry and we started fighting physically. Then he grabbed my wallet and took my car! I ran after him and kicked him out of my car. My mom showed up and somehow he got her car, there was an old man with a cane outside and he started hitting my ex because I yelled for his help. I then took the cane, got in the car and started whacking my ex. Then I noticed there was a baby in the back seat. There was also a girl on a bike who tried to help.  My ex was driving while I was still in the car hitting him with this cane. Somehow I jumped out the car then I found some people grilling food for 4th of July and I joined them. Finally the cops came and arrested my ex.

Lauri: Wow!  Lots going on in this dream but that’s good because it means your dream has a lot to say to you. It seems that you’ve been having a hard time moving on from the ex. It must’ve been a helluva relationship!  In the dream he takes your wallet and your car because – whatever happened in that relationship or even in the break-up – has robbed you of your self worth as well as your ability to move on.

Read the rest of this entry »

photo by Vacasion

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about love and sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

My husband had the following dream: He comes home and I tell him I have friends over.  I take him by the hand and lead him down a hallway where people are having sex. When we get to a bigger room, I have sex with different people in front of him and basically just flaunt it.
Eventually I come over to him, climb on top of him and start teasing him.  Then I just get up and walk out.  He doesn’t have a clue where I am going.  He woke up panicked and has talked about it constantly ever since because it’s had such an impact.  He said he couldn’t tell who anyone else was and that I was just flat out mean.   This is not like me at all, nor is the situation. Any insight would be helpful.

Lauri: Aw, poor hubby.  Let’s see if we can’t make him feel better about your tawdry ways!  The first thing you’ve got to remember about sex dreams is that they are rarely about the actual physical act of sex but more about the merging or uniting of it.  That being said, it seems to me that hubby must feel that you have been uniting with quite a bit of either extracurricular activities or you have merged with a more male, assertive energy lately… that is assuming that all the people you were shagging were men.

You are doing this in front of him in the dream which means this is something you are doing in front of him in waking life, and in fact, may be something you are proud of.  So have you been really busy lately, committing yourself to many projects or things that take your focus and attention away from him?  Or have you taken on a more “ballsy” attitude that’s causing you to be pleased with yourself and causing him to be a little wary?

The meanness you display in the dream is most likely waking life unawareness of how he is feeling (our dreams will exaggerate our feelings quite a bit because the emotional centers of the brain are highly active when we dream).  So his concern about your behavior in the dream may be at a 10 when in real life his concern is maybe at a 5.

Nonetheless, the dream does point to something going on that is bothering him enough that the two of you ought to have a nice little chat about it.  Hopefully I’ve given you enough to work with here so you can pinpoint the issue and work it out.  The main thing you want to focus on is what waking life activity or behavior are you engaging in that has him feeling left out or even a teeny bit jealous.  Let me know how it goes!

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s free Dream Dictionary on her site.

photo by loveloveshine

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about love and sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I had a dream where I woke up from a deep sleep to find a woman going down on me. Suddenly I am having the most intense screaming orgasm. Immediately after, I break into tears because I had an intimate encounter with someone else when I love my boyfriend so much. The woman is confused as to why I am so upset, saying “You asked me to do this. What did you expect?” At this point in the dream, I realize she is a prostitute whom I had hired. I then spend the rest of the dream running around a huge house (the brothel, I guess) trying to find my boyfriend, while trying to make sure no one else in the house sees me. But I never find my boyfriend.

That is when I wake up — well I am woken up by my boyfriend making too much noise as he’s getting ready for work. Normally I tell him about my dreams when they’re particularly weird, but I was too ashamed of this dream to tell him about it. I still haven’t and I’m almost haunted by it. I love my boyfriend more than anything, and we’ve even talked about getting married after grad school. What could this dream mean?

Lauri: We often get upset by our dreams because we take them literally. Keep in mind that your dreams are coming from a different part of your mind (the subconscious) than your literal thoughts come from (the conscious), therefore they speak a different language. The subconscious speaks in a language of emotions, pictures and metaphors. That being said, let’s look at the emotions, pictures and metaphors in your dream and see if we can’t connect them to your waking life.

You are feeling sadness and regret in the dream. What were you upset about or regretting in real life at that time? You are also fearful that someone in the dream would see you. What were you afraid someone in real life might find out about you? It may not necessarily be a big secret; it could also be thoughts, feelings or an opinion you were keeping to yourself.

Read the rest of this entry »

photo by gabi menashe

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about love and sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I had a dream that I was sitting down on the floor with a child. He looked just like my boyfriend and I was telling him how much I loved him, and he was telling me how much he loved me. When he got up to walk away he hit his head and fell down to the ground. He didn’t cry though, but I ran over to him and told him that he wouldn’t cry because he was just like his dad. He shook his head and I tickled him. I went to go sit on the couch and there was a porcupine sitting next to me. I set it down on the ground and as I did it’s needles got stuck in my hand. A dog was trying to get to the porcupine but I pulled him away and sat him on the couch next to me. I was trying to get the needles out of my hand but the needles kept getting re-stuck into my palm. I spent the rest of the dream trying to get the needles out.

Lauri: You must perceive your boyfriend as being childish in some way, such as immature, naive or even fun-loving. Or perhaps you feel the need to nurture and mother him lately.  Hitting his head and falling down suggests something has happened lately that may have been a blow to his ego and knocked him down a peg.  Hmmm… maybe this is where the child comes in.  Do you not feel he is handling his current situation well? I think this is why you are trying to tickle him; you want to cheer him up.

The couch and the porcupine are awfully interesting elements to this dream! Is this situation with your boyfriend rather “sticky?”  Is it a situation that you feel would be best if you “sat this one out?”  The dog, it seems, is your loyalty to your boyfriend… just as the dog was trying to get to the porcupine, your loyalty towards your boyfriend wants to help him tackle this issue, but just as you sat on the sofa you again have to remind yourself and your loyal instincts (the dog) that you need to sit this one out.  Your hands are your ability to handle the situation, which you probably would love to do but it may cause you more pain or hassle than it’s worth. The needles getting stuck in your hands is the message: This is a sticky situation; you’ve needled him enough about it.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s free Dream Dictionary on her site.

photo by Katie Tegtmeyer

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about love and sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

My mom is having a get-together with a whole bunch of people. I participate in the event and meet a girl. She’s really pretty and I end up befriending her. I invite her to my room and we end up making out and getting it on in my closet in case my mom walks in trying to look for me. My mom does walk in so I come out of my closet while the girl remains in there. As soon as my mom leaves I go back in the closet and go back to what we were doing. My mother comes in my room again telling me that I need to come out and help her with the event and so I tell her that I will. She also asks me where the girl is (she doesn’t know that she’s in the room with me) and so I tell her that she probably went outside for a little walk.

The girl that I’m with doesn’t want to be seen leaving my room so I tell her to sneak out of my room through my window. I open the window and pop out the screen for her so she can sneak out and come back in the house through the front door so nothing looks suspicious.

That’s the end of my dream. I am a woman who is attracted to men and I do kiss other women once in a while, but that’s only when I’ve had a few drinks and those women are usually close girlfriends of mine. What could this mean?

Lauri: Dreams of nookie with the same gender can certainly cause us to scratch our heads upon waking… especially if we’re certain that we’re not playing for the other team. I’m sure this dream has indeed got you scratching away, especially because of all the “coming out of the closet” references. I’ve counseled many LGB folks in my career and they all were very certain of their orientation at an early age, and since I don’t have you here in my office, I am going to go by your assertion that you are attracted to men. Read the rest of this entry »