W Blair Bruce’s Les Naied, 1896, via PinkMoose

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I keep having these dreams that include sex, my best friend, her man, my man, and me. I’ve also had a similar dream about two other couples and my hubby and I joined in sex. It always starts with my hubby and I and the other couple on opposite sides of the bed and then I initiate everything that happens next. I tell the other girl to sit on my hubby’s face and tell her man to enter me while I am giving fellatio to my hubby. Then we all just keep switching positions, ending always with me in doggy and the other guy giving it. My hubby is with the other girl on her back, but legs up. I am and always will be heterosexual. I can’t understand why I keep having these erotic and explicit group sex dreams. Please tell me this all means something totally different than me just secretly in my subconscious wanting to have a four-(or more)-some.

Lauri: Okay, I will… these DO mean something different than you secretly wanting a four-or more-some. The subconscious, dreaming mind speaks in a very strange language. It is not a literal language but rather a language of symbols and metaphors; it gives form to our inner most thoughts and feelings. That being said, in what way is your life like an orgy? Typically, orgy dreams are connected to waking life confusion and/or chaos. Is there too much going on in your life right now? Too many decisions to make? Are you having a hard time focusing on one thing at a time? Or is there so much going on that you and hubby aren’t getting the one-on-one time you desire? Notice how you keep ordering people to switch positions. This could be a play on words. Have YOU been switching your position on something? Do you keep changing your mind?

It is significant that you never wind up with hubby at the end of your dreams, which is a good indication that in waking life, the two of you each have so much going on that you can’t focus on each other. The dreams will keep happening until you carve out time in your crazy schedules for just each other… OR until you personally find a way to focus on one thing at a time. Whatever the case, you need a stress reliever. Trying out some of those crazy positions in your dream with hubby may be just what the doctor ordered!

Response from dreamer: OMG!!! All I can say is WoW! You hit the nail on the head. I have been soooo very stressed. I try to work out and relax but it doesn’t work. My hubby has taken on extra responsibilities at work so he’s stressed. All of this stress has not killed the bedroom though. That’s the only place we do connect and explore. Now we do have a communication block due to some issues in our past lives that we are trying to work through. We are now not seeing eye to eye on certain things where our kids are concerned. Would this have something to do with switching?

Lauri: Absolutely! Have you been changing your mind over and over again? Or are you trying to get hubby to switch his position on the matter? This would also be why you two are never together at the end of your dreams, you two haven’t “come together” on this issue yet. Your inner mind wants you to. It sounds like you may be trying to run the whole show and not allowing hubby a say so. Does that sound like that may be right?

Dreamer: Yes. I would like him to change his mind. It just doesn’t seem like a fair decision. I’m not trying to run things but hubby wants me to step up and take the reins more at home and in the bedroom. He says I’m too soft spoken and not aggressive enough. I just don’t know where to begin.

Lauri: “…and tell her man to enter me”: This part of your dream is significant. The man represents your yang, your “male” qualities, the part of you that needs to “man up” and handle business. You want that male, assertive energy to enter you so you can be less “soft spoken” and more aggressive as your husband says. Once you take even just one small step at being more assertive, your dreams will change or stop… and you’ll feel pretty empowered!

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s free Dream Dictionary on her site.

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

A few years ago, I briefly dated this guy (let’s call him X), though we never had sex. We parted mutually after only a few weeks, when it became clear that we were completely incompatible. I am now in a happy, 2-year relationship with a friend of his, with his blessing. So here’s the dream:

X had a one-night stand with an insane girl and was now left with a baby by her, since she was not stable enough to look after it at all. For some reason, even though we aren’t close anymore, he came to me for help. Our interaction with each other and with the child was being watched by a panel of ‘judges’, and with them looking on (to make sure we weren’t ‘inappropriate’) we kissed passionately in a shower and tried to find a private place to have sex. I picked up the baby to feed him; his face was gone, replaced by a smooth white china mask with lumps and indentations where the eyes, nose and mouth should be. We smeared food on the mouth indentation, trying to find a way to feed the baby, but it didn’t work and then the baby disappeared and I knew that I had failed. X then took my hand and we sat in silence for the rest of the dream.

What does this mean?

Lauri: You must be feeling scrutinized in waking life.  Who has been judging you or making you feel inadequate?  If it’s not anyone around you, then ask yourself if you are the one being too judgmental and critical of yourself.

The baby represents some new element or new responsibility in your life, born out of a confusing, chaotic or “insane” set of circumstances.  You are now left holding the bag and apparently are not feeling up to the challenge.  Did you reluctantly take on a waking life responsibility that you weren’t prepared for? The baby has no face because you may not have yet “faced” the reality of the situation.  I think your dreaming mind chose to use this former boyfriend to illustrate the fact that you have taken on something that you shouldn’t have, something that was not a good match for you.

In the end of the dream, the man takes your hand because your inner self is reminding you that you were probably only trying to “lend a hand” in the first place, so don’t be so hard on yourself.  The silence suggests that you may need to speak up about the issue because it seems like there was a certain level of injustice that has happened here.

Response from dreamer: Yes, that makes perfect sense! I was recently dumped with a whole heap of extra responsibility with work, family, and going back to study, and am starting to feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day! I also just started a new job which has been separating me from my close friends more and more due to the chaotic hours, so my support group feels like it’s dwindling. Thanks so much!

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s free Dream Dictionary on her site.

photo of seahorse — the only male animal that gets knocked up — by cliff1066

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

Just for some background information, I have been with my boyfriend for over two years, and we are in a very steady and increasingly serious relationship; meaning, there has been talk of living together and possibly marriage. My boyfriend is in almost all of my dreams, but this was by far the strangest I’ve had. I was still a woman, and he still very much a man — and he was giving birth to our child! I was standing next to him, holding his hand as he was going through the labor, and we were both overwhelmed with emotion — positive emotion. I remember at one point looking down and feeling as if I could see the little hands reaching out as if the baby was also striving to be born. In the midst of the strain and labor, he looked up at me and said, “Wow, now it’s time for me to be a father,” and I was encouraging him and just in awe of what he was doing. Now, for further background information, I am not pregnant and am in no way sure I -ever- want to have kids; but when I woke up from this dream, I was so happy (and also rather freaked out…). I am super curious as to what’s going on here. Read the rest of this entry »

photo by Fireflies604

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

In real life, my wonderful relationship with my boyfriend will be ending in about two weeks due to him permanently moving back home, which is on another continent. I dreamt that I was staying at an older family member’s house.  There was a guy with me who I knew in my dream was my boyfriend, but was not my waking-life boyfriend.  We start fooling around, and I start going down on him.  There is a weird ridge around his penis under the head, which I play with.  He is close to orgasm when the head comes off at the ridge part, but there is no blood.  I freak out, and he calms me down and says “It’s okay, we’ll just put it back on.”  I don’t remember what he did to “put it back on”, but it worked.  I climbed on top and we started to 69, which ended shortly thereafter with orgasms for both of us.

Lauri: In its own weird and cryptic way, your dream is helping you come to terms with your boyfriend leaving.   The reason why there is an unknown boyfriend in this dream rather than your actual boyfriend is because you have probably already – emotionally – begun detaching yourself from him. You’ve probably known for some time that you and your boyfriend would have to say goodbye to each other at some point and now this reality has finally “come to a head,” hence you giving head in the dream.  Yes, dreams will use figures of speech and will play on words… a lot!  Dreams are a picture language after all.

This is also why the head of the penis comes off.  It represents the emotional detachment as well as the actual separation you will have to endure soon.  But the boyfriend in the dream tells you that it’s okay.  Which is actually you reassuring yourself – through the dream – that it will indeed be okay.  The head of the penis is able to go right back on because you know, deep down, that you will be able to get back to normal before too long.

The oral sex, which then ensues, is actually about intimate conversation.  Anything involving the mouth in a dream is all about communication and conversation, and your dreaming mind is using oral sex to let you know that a deep and meaningful intimate conversation between you and your boyfriend, before he leaves, would be very gratifying, hence the orgasm.  In other words, be sure you let him know how much he has meant to you, what you have learned about yourself from this relationship and so on… let it all out.  Like an orgasm, this will give you very satisfying closure.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s free Dream Dictionary on her site.

photo by Johan_Larsson

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I dreamed that I died and I ended up in a place where there were other people walking around. Everyone knew we were dead and there were buildings and rooms, it looked like the world we live in today. I kept feeling like I urgently needed to come back to the living, especially go back to my girlfriend, and I was desperately looking for a way to come back to life. There were people there I knew but I don’t remember who they are and someone told me they knew how to come back to life. He told me when an old man whistled (or maybe it was hummed) there is a chance to get through. Read the rest of this entry »

photo by woodleywonderworks

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I have had a crush on a co-worker for months, but I’ve been in a monogamous relationship this whole time.  As far as I know he’s single, but he’s higher up than I am.  We’re on good terms, but have never done anything alone together, just been at company parties together and talked a bit. I’ve had several dreams about him. The first involved him inviting me to his new apartment which was spacious and sunny; we went out on the balcony and saw people showering in the yard, then went inside and made out. The most recent dream, right after having pretty passionate sex with my real partner, entailed him inviting me over to “cook multiple eggs”; at one point he juggled the eggs and after that we had sex.  It also seems my partner existed in the realm of the first dream and I felt guilty for cheating, but my partner didn’t exist in the second dream at all. The weekend of the second dream we had a condom issue and I had to get Plan B, so I was worried about eggs in a vague way and also ate duck eggs for the first time.  I was angry at my partner, too, because he thought I was getting too upset about needing to get Plan B for the second time in a few years.

Lauri: “We always long for the forbidden things, and desire what is denied us.”   So sayeth French writer Francois Rabelais.   When we cannot get what we want in waking life, the dreaming mind will kindly compensate, and your dreams are fine examples of that.  In your first dream you are invited to your crush’s new apartment because in waking life you desire to be invited into his life.  His apartment is spacious and sunny because you may very well have hidden hope that  he has space for you in his heart and hope for a bright future with him.

The showering people are interesting!  They are showering out in the open which is very symbolic of “coming clean” and getting your feelings “out in the open.”  That is why the next thing you do is make out.  Kissing in a dream can always be connected to conversation in waking life, conversation that recently happened or conversation that needs to happen.

In the second dream, the “multiple” eggs have multiple relevance.  Of course, they are connected to your fear that one of your own eggs may be in danger of fertilization.  Then there is the connection of trying duck eggs for the first time, and then the third connection is to the old saying “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”  You have a crush on another guy and were mad at your guy at the time of this dream.  It’s only natural to – at least subconsciously – wonder what another’s basket may be like.  And your crush juggles the eggs because… well, when one takes action on their forbidden desires for another, some careful juggling must be done.  Just ask Tiger!

But rather than attempting to do a dangerous juggle, you may want to do some introspection first and ask yourself which desire is stronger, the desire for someone else or the desire to continue your current relationship.  Just remember, it’s called a crush for a reason… sometimes it’s not reciprocated.

Response from dreamer: Thank you!  Sometimes things are obvious once someone else tells us them.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s free Dream Dictionary on her site.

photo by sernandrea

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I’ve been having a series of dreams in which I feel serious affection for other women. In each dream I see an unknown woman across a room or whatever and it’d be like a meeting I’ve always wanted — like love at first sight. And it’d always be very secretive and exciting and passionate. It can stop at looking, but most of the time it ends with making out or even sex.

Sometimes the details are so strong that I remember the girls as if they are an actual memory, and the last one was called Izzy. Furthermore the girls are always very skinny, maybe even anorexic-like, and I find it very attractive. I’ve been dieting a lot lately with eating-disordered tendencies, but not at an extreme stage.

In real life I really don’t feel awkward about the dreams but rather I actually wish they were real! For as far as I know I’m straight, but I’m sure I’d be able to love another woman all the same. Are these dreams a reflection of my life and thoughts? Read the rest of this entry »

photo by grandcamel

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

My boyfriend and I broke up recently because of trust issues I have, but a couple days ago we decided we would try to work things out and take things a bit slower this time. So I’m guessing this has something to do with the really weird dream I just had: In it, I am a man. It’s me and another guy who I seem to know very well, and two girls. In the beginning we are receiving blowjobs from the girls, but lose our erections in the middle of it. We seem very confused and try to get it back up but cant. Then all of a sudden a giant light bulb appears in the sky but is not lit up. I tell the other guy to look and then the light bulb starts to turn like its being screwed in and lights up. Me and the other guy both go “Oh, yeah, duh,” and almost magically our erection come back instantly. Then we have intercourse with the girls. I would appreciate any explanation you have to offer.

Lauri: Gender-switching dreams can certainly be confusing but are more common than you might think!  And yes, you are correct; this dream is definitely about your relationship.  It came to you to help you figure it all out.  That’s why we dream after all.  You are a man in the dream because your wiser dreaming mind is telling you to “man up,” grow a pair, deal with it.  You are receiving a blow job because oral sex, in a dream, is actually about communication.  Anything involving the mouth in a dream can almost always be connected to a recent conversation.  You are on the receiving end because you must have received lip service from your boyfriend.  Is he the one that sold you on the idea of giving the relationship another try?    The up and down of the erection and the confusion you have over it is directly linked to being up and down and confused over the relationship.

The light bulb is an interesting element!  The screwing in aspect of it may point to the fact that you feel you have been screwed over by a past relationship.  Is that why you have trust issues?  But it lights up and the obligatory light bulb or “duh moment” goes on in your head because your dream is telling you, “Hey!  Lighten up!”  You don’t have to carry the heaviness of a past relationship into a new one.  What good does that do?  Sheesh.  Let it go, lady!

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s free Dream Dictionary on her site.

photo by hyperscholar

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I’ve been with my boyfriend for two months. We’re very happy, he’s my best friend, and I’m head over heels in love with him. However, I’ve been having regular dreams about my ex-boyfriend. I was with him for 18 months, and we ended messily after I confessed I’d cheated. I later found out he’d cheated on me as well. In the dreams, we’re either together again and happy, or I’m trying to get him to come back to me, or I’m out for revenge. Why do I still dream about him when I’m happy with my current boyfriend?

Lauri: You may indeed be happy with your current boyfriend but odds are… you are not happy with yourself and the way things went down with the ex. You see, the majority of our dreams are caused by unresolved issues and your feelings and thoughts regarding your past relationship are clearly unresolved. Your variety of dreams involving him show us the inner conflict of emotions you still have about the whole thing.

The dreams where you are together and happy are connected to your feelings of wanting to be at peace with the relationship and wanting to remember the good times from it. The dreams where you are trying to get him back are connected to the guilt you have for doing him wrong. And, of course, the dreams where you try to get revenge are connected to your anger that he went and did you wrong too! Whew. I’m emotionally depleted from going over all that! As long as you continue to have conflicting emotions you will continue to have these dreams. Read the rest of this entry »

photo by e.esders

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

Recently, I had a very strange dream: I was making out with a guy, when suddenly, my boyfriend walks in, I hurriedly let go of the other guy and start apologizing to my boyfriend. Seems to be a rather logical scenario, right? Weird thing is: the guy I’m making out with when my boyfriend walks in on me is actually my boyfriend. Basically, I’m cheating on my boyfriend with my boyfriend. We’re in a relationship of 3.5 years now, with weekly sleepovers, dying to move in together but forced to wait — I’m in my last year of college, he’s looking for a job — and I don’t really get what this dream means. I really love him, I’m sure we’ve got a future together, but cheating on him with him somehow seems significant. Could you help me understand?

Lauri: You are correct!  This dream is indeed significant!  But it’s not so much about the cheating element as it is about the making-out element.  Kissing in a dream is actually about intimate communication because — like kissing — it takes two mouths to communicate.  The day before this dream, do you recall having a deep, intimate and meaningful conversation with your boyfriend?  And did it seem unusual or out of the ordinary in anyway?  Did it allow you to see your boyfriend in a new light?  Did you learn something new about him?  Did you see a different part of him?  Was there any element to the conversation that made you realize that he isn’t who you thought he was… but in a good way (hopefully)?

There is also a hint of guilt in this dream that we must explore.  The guilt you feel in the dream is directly connected to something you feel a little guilty about in waking life.  Did your boyfriend perhaps show you a side of him that you rather liked but he was embarrassed about?  Perhaps you delighted in him showing you his vulnerable side, which perhaps goes against who he likes to portray himself as?  What in real life did you apologize to him for?  Did you laugh at something he didn’t think was funny?

Whatever the case, it seems your BFF has two sides to him that conflict with or contradict each other but that you kinda dig.

Response from Dreamer: Read the rest of this entry »