I Keep Dreaming My Boyfriend Beats Me Up

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex & relationships. If you’ve got a good one, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg just might tell you what it means! Click here to submit yours (18 and older only for dream interpretations, please). This week, a reader asks Lauri about dreaming of her boyfriend beating her up:

For the past 2 nights, I’ve had the same dream, and believe me, it’s not a pleasant dream. It starts off normal: my boyfriend’s roommate is driving my car and my boyfriend and I are in the back cuddled up and talking. Soon the subject we’re talking about changes and he starts calling me annoying, stupid, and greedy, saying that I’m using him and he’s accusing me of sleeping with my best friend (who’s also my ex).

When I deny sleeping with my friend, he punches me! His roommate driving the car keeps saying “Show that bitch who’s boss.” He keeps hitting me and I’m begging him to stop. Finally the car pulls over, I scream at them to get out of my car, they both hit me one last time. Then I go to my best friend’s (ex’s) place and cry in his arms.

This is really confusing to me because in reality my boyfriend is the sweetest guy you’ll ever meet and he’d never actually lay a hand on me.

Lauri: Having the same dream two nights in a row means something in real life has been bothering you for two days now, and your dreams are trying to help you with it. So let’s look at all the clues in your dream and see if we can figure out what it is.

The dream takes place in your car, which means it is connected to some issue or thought process that is progressing forward. You are not the one driving so this may not feel like you are in control of the direction this is going in real life. The roommate is driving. Is there any issue between you and him? Does he say things about you or is he the “driving force” in some issue or situation?

You are then called annoying, stupid and greedy. Whatever is said to you in a dream is really coming from yourself. Remember, this dream is your creation and coming from your own mind. So essentially something is causing you to feel this way about yourself. Do you still have feelings for your ex? Or does your boyfriend have an issue with the fact that you are still friends with him…best friends with him? Or despite him saying it’s okay, deep down do you realize it bothers him?

You are then beaten up, which suggests there is something you are beating yourself up about. Screaming to them to get out of your car is the same as you screaming to the negative thoughts in your head to get out. It seems to me your dreams are strongly encouraging you to be completely honest with yourself to try to pinpoint what is causing the guilt. Is there a part of you that wants back with your ex? A part of you that wished your boyfriend were more like him? A part of you that regrets the breakup with your ex? Or a part of you that realizes your relationship with your ex, who you don’t want to lose as a friend, is causing your jealous boyfriend pain?

Your tears at the end of the dream are connected to something in real life that makes you feel the same way. Don’t be afraid to look into sleep aids if it’s keeping you up at night. I hope this helps!

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One Comment

  1. Curious as to whether there is research that suggest dreams like this come from some subconscious fear that you have? Having the dream multiple times seems a little worrying to me…

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