Dream Interpretation: Do My Lesbian Dreams Mean I’m Bi?

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

So I’ve been having a lot of wet dreams lately. That fact I find normal. But it’s who I’m having them with that I’m curious about.  For some reason they are always with women.  Recently I’ve even had a dream about a steamy encounter with one of my best girlfriends.  Does that mean I am bi-curious or is that normal?

lauri_loewenberg_100Lauri: If having a naughty dream about the same gender meant you were bi-curious, why we’d all be AC/DC!  So to answer your question, yes. T’is quite normal indeed.  In my research, it is not uncommon for same gender sex dreams to come in waves or spells such as yours.  This is not unlike having a wave of say, falling dreams.  In fact, I’ve personally been having a wave of fire dreams! The reason dream themes sometimes come in waves is because the issue or behavior they are connected to goes on for as long as the dreams do.  That being said, let’s see if we can’t figure out what is triggering these girl-on-girl dreams for you.

The first thing you have to keep in mind is that sex dreams are not usually about sex at all but rather a uniting or merging of ideas, mindsets or energies.   Random or unknown women often represent female or yin energy, which is typically creativity, sensitivity, the ability to nurture and to be a good listener… the qualities generally associated with women.  Lesbian dreams are VERY common with pregnant women, for example, because there is nothing more “feminine” than being in incubator mode.  Have you been particularly creative, nurturing or sensitive lately?

Now let’s look at your friend.  Only you know for sure if you secretly desire her lady garden, but odds are this dream came at a time when the two of you had some sort of meeting of the minds, when the two of you really “came together” on some level, or perhaps put up a united front about something.  You may have even recently taken on one of her behaviors or qualities as your own, you may have merged a part of her into you.  Whatever the case, the dream is a really good sign that you two are definitely on the same wave length!

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s free Dream Dictionary on her site.


    1. So, if you dream about going to school/work without pants, does that automatically make you an exhibitionist? If you have a bad dream that involves accidentally coming in contact with poop, does that mean deep down you’re into scat play? If you have a nightmare about killing someone, does that mean you must really want to — and could! — murder someone in real life? Weird, unlikely, antithetical shit happens in dreams all the time — you shouldn’t always interpret them literally, if ever.

      1. Dear Em and Lo, thank you for offering a rational, and funny, explanation to CBG. Let me add that were dreams literal, there would have been no need to interpret dreams from ancient Greece to nineteenth-century Vienna and beyond.

  1. Okay so about 7 months ago my sisters friend and I were watching a movie together in my bed she started feeling up on my leggings. I think I’m straight but she got me wet when she rubbed me. Last night I had a wet dream of her. We were hanging out and then we took a shower together and she rubbed me again. But I have a boyfriend and I also have wet dreams about him. Am I bisexual or is it just a phase? Also why now why 7 months from then?

  2. I had a dream that i was at a scatboarding cort and a girl kept staring at me and she would try to talk to me but i would ignore her and when we are walking out, she grabed me and she asked for my name and i gave her my name and she said that she really liked me. So i asked her if she was bi or lesbian and she said she was bisexual. And i told her i has bi too. And i went to her house and we started doing sexual thing. Am i bisexual?

  3. I had this dream last night where I was play fighting in a costume with this other girl and she didn’t want to play fight anymore so I told her to kiss me to stop and she gave me a quick peck and I asked her to do a longer kiss and I can still feel the warmth of her breath and the softness of her lips. I was really into it and I even tried so hard going back to sleep but couldn’t finish of the dream. I couldn’t see her face but I was surprised that I was the dominant in this dream. I am 18years old and never been with a guy or a girl as my religion doesn’t agree with any intimate relationship before marriage. What do you guys think this dream could mean?

    1. Hon, if your religion is sexually repressing you( I’m a Christian so I’m not bashing religion in general) then you are acting out in your dreams. How comfortable are you with guys? Are you always taught to feel ashamed about sex? Or your body? If any of this true then the gay dream is probably you exploring you not you being gay. All people need intimacy, so are women more supportive to you than men? Look at your life and start studying sexuality from the Bible (if you are Christian that is , because it’s a very candid book on human sexuality. Song of Solomon is an erotic book). Don’t listen to people who want to repress your sexuality, at least dont internalize it. I’m not saying go explore but I am saying that sex is God given and we are sexual creatures.

  4. I’ve been having a lot of dreams of me and a girl having sex. I can’t really see their face ever. But I saw this one girls face, and I think she’s gorgeous and I always talk about looking like her. So maybe that could be something. But in my dreams I like i and I’m always the leader.

  5. I had a dream about a girl I like a lot but now we are just bestfriend. I am a lesbian and she is bi. We use to date ect …. what does this mean?

  6. For those of you who said, “You sent a message your Teacher”. Rule 1 if you have any kind of relationship with a teacher at all past or present and you want to keep it, keep quiet. Rule 2 Never tell them about your dreams with them especially if they are married. These types of dreams are for you to connect with yourself. A lot of these dreams are of women and for the record women are are the mothers of both sexes so that is quite natural.
    This might explain why “Jay” says “straigt men” do not
    have dreams of the opposite sex, I would argue that. These wet dreams, freakish dreams and out of the blue dreams are about where you stand with your inner self.

  7. I had a dream that left me so confused.. I dreamed that I was drunk and walked in a room filled with people. I new all of them but the werid part was that they were all touching and feeling each other up. It freaked me out!..then one of my close friends pulled me over and started putting her hands down my pants. At first I was enjoying it then I pushed her off. Then her and a guy continued doin stuff but she didnt let me go and wanted me to stay there as she got off. Soo weirdd! Im freaked out!

  8. I had a dream that woke me up and left me a little shook up. I dreamed I was having sex with a women I have never seen. I was the dominent one witch is weird cause I am usually not that way usually, but even worse my husband was there trying to stop it and I was yelling at him to get out that I would do what I want. I then heard my kids crying in the next room and I woke up. I was really shook up cause I have never dreamed of something like that and I was enjoying it.

  9. I had a dream about my teacher.. It was very weird. What does that mean? I’m confused, help me. It was very hot though I must admit. I messaged her on Facebook and she didn’t message back.. I guess I do like her which is weird haha. The last night I had a dream that we were having lesbian sex on my bed! OMG have feelings for my dance teacher?! Only if she felt the same way about me…

  10. I had the strangest dream last night. I lustfully fell in love with a woman. We introduced each other to our respective friends and tried to keep it to ourselves, but everyone knew. We couldn’t keep our eyes or hands off each other. When I woke I felt a sense of loss that lasted half the day. It wasn’t anyone I’d met before, but I’d know her if she walked in the room. I wonder if my husband would love or hate that particular scenario…
    I did have a long time friend suddenly come out and recently met her new girlfriend. I can easily see that as the source of the dream. It shook me up though.

  11. I read this post and found some comfort in it. But still not all. I had a dream just last night that involved me having an intimate relationship with a girl. Yes a couple of guys were there two. But the funny thing is the other girls that were friend with this girl I was going to have sex with were in groups like. Gang type groups bit not gangs. And she was Asian. I did see one Asian at a convention that I
    wen to a past weekend ago but I didn’t think. She was hot or pretty. I have no friends that are girls I mostly-hang with guys. And i have no best friends that are girls. So i dont know wht it could possibly mean I would really like to know.

  12. Last night I had a dream that I was a prostitute. In that dream my pimp assigned me to sleep with two girls. I too wondered if that meant I was bi but then today I created the best work of art I’d ever done in my career as an artist. So it must be true what Lauri says about it representing creativity.

  13. Loewenberg, the author of this article did not mention females. Men do not get dreams of the opposite sex. At least not straight males. I am undoubtedly straight.

  14. I dreamed me and my best friend where lesbians and we both were kissing and i held her waist and down her butt i admit she does have a big butt and i have the boobs haa any who we were turned on and i began to finger and hump her when i woke up i was turned on i have kissed and hunped girls but when i was in high school

  15. Last night I had a dream that I had a threesome it was weird because at first I wasnt into it because I was straight but the next thing I knew I was god dam doing it!! when I woke up I though.. ooh no not again!! mind you its been awhile since i last had that dream but reading that article gave me an insight…. I am not lesbo i am straight but when I noticed how much more mature they were I realised I wanted to be big like them…

  16. I’ve been having strange girl on girl dreams lately. They’re always with a complete stranger and I can never see their face, but I know I don’t know them personally. I’ve even had one where I’m a man in the dream having sex with another man! I’ve yet to find a solid interpretation on that one!

  17. This Author is a fucking hack. Only a paragraph into her response, did I see undocumented bullshit written as fact.

    This article is bullshit, and the lazy person who thinks they are knowing, only makes an insult to people who know.

  18. I was questioning for a long time before I had this one dream about three years ago. It was about a woman I worked with, who had expressed interest in me and I was shooting down. In my dream, I was on her lap, and she was caressing around my hips. She asked me out again later, I finally said yes, and I’m about to be her wife.

  19. I had a dream when I was in the eigth grade that I still remember quite vivdly. Me and an aquintance were in a white room, i was kissing her neck from behind and caressing her body at the same time..I also kissed the side of her head. I am 17 now and we have continued to be friends, infact we are best friends now…after all those years I have never told her this dream but I have found we have alot in common. Although, after I had this dream, for the past 4 years or so I have been extremely attracted to her (sexually) alot of my fantasies included her. FOR THE RECORD I AM STRAIGHT, i know this forsure…anyhow sometimes I feel as though we are/were on the same wavelengths and she may have possibly had some of the same kind of dreams about me… ?

  20. Here’s our definition of sex in dreams, based on the largest database of dreams in the world… “Often a literal representation of sexual desire, sex also functions as a metaphor for attraction to qualities that your partner represents. Sex with a much older person, for example, typically reflects a desire for security. Sex with a celebrity reflects that our social status is “moving up” in the world. (A celeb treats us like an equal!) Sex with a friend or co-worker can be a metaphor for “good working chemistry.” Dreams of same sex relations are common. Are you curious, or do you just want to be as beautiful as your dream lover?”

  21. When I first went away to college my room mates and I all got high together (my first time) and I passed out. I dreamed that the three of us had an interesting intimate encounter, and it scared the hell out of me! All I needed was to bring a girlfriend home to my religious mother for thanksgiving. But it never happened, and I figured it was a sub-conscience-related occurrence as expressed in my intro psych class.

  22. When a friend and I quit our jobs together after being treated rather badly, it was a last resort, we had been a great team at work and now we were a team at finding work. I had a dream about us. But I realized it was more about us being close. We have become very open with each other and close, we both have boyfriends but I knew it had nothing to do with sex it was all about us being a team and being close.

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