Your Call: How Can She Get Over Her Boyfriend’s Bisexuality?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below.

My boyfriend just told me he was bisexual. He said in the past he has had sex with other men, but that it will never happen again. I want to believe him. I’m pregnant with his baby and he said he wants to get married. My problem is I don’t know if I can handle knowing that and still stay with him. I know it’s in his past, but how do I know it will stay there? As of right now I cant even look at him without feeling disgust, and I can’t stop crying because he’s still the love of my life. But I just dont know how to cope with what he’s done, or what he might do. I really don’t know how to feel ok with it, as bad as I want to, I still find it repulsive. Please help.

— Knocked Up and Knocked Out

What should KUKO do?


  1. Mhmmmm I currently have a 3-month old by my boyfriend. We have a pretty good relationship 80% of the time. But, we’ve had some rocky roads as everyone has. As far as I know he’s never had sex with someone while we were serious, but he’s talked to other people. Well, when we first started dating and we had sex, I looked at his laptop when he went to work. I know I shouldn’t have it wasn’t nice. But, I had a feeling he was hiding something. I looked and saw pics of him dressed up like a women. And with other guys doing Stuff. I cried so much that day and when he got home we talked about it and he said that was a long time ago. Since then he’s been dressing up still(sometimes using my clothes and such) and taking pics. As far as I know he doesn’t do anything with them. He use to post them on intagram until I found out.

  2. Sooo many negative posts from the gay/bi-sexuals here. Coming to the defense of one of your own and not looking at the real issue here.

    Did anybody here (aside from a few) not think about the deception? KUKO was lied to, she was decieved. The boyfriend lead her to believe he was something he wasn’t. Should he have not told her up front that he was Bi? The answer is YES! KUKO had the right to make her own decision about her life, it was NOT the boyfriend’s right to make that decision for her.

    The boyfriend in her mind is no longer the man she thought he was, that man is gone forever. No matter what he does he will never have her see him the same way again.

    We are all entitled to our opinions. To gays perhaps straight sex is disgusting and repulsive? KUKO has every right to be repulsed and disgusted about imagining him with a man, at least she was being honest about it. The general population views the GLBT community as sexual deviants, it is what it is…disgusting.

    I’m not buying that “it” is in the past. What is in the past…his bi-sexuality or him having gay sex? Don’t buy it KUKO…he is a proven liar and not worthy of your trust.

    One of the most important human characteristics is honesty and integrity…move on KUKO, he doesn’t have it and he doesn’t deserve you! Good luck.

  3. I find this woman’s plight very similar to my own, and it’s my belief that everyone whose posted has made a good point.
    Over the course of our 1 year relationship, my boyfriend has worked up the courage to tell me that he’s bi, has slept with multiple men and has gone to several gay sex clubs. He’s lost count of how many people he’s slept with.
    Like the poster I have struggled with feelings of confusion, insecurity and mistrust. I am also bisexual so I understand the varied grey areas of sexual attraction to both genders and the very unique preferences that can be inherent. I am in no way repulsed by sexual acts between two males – infact it turns me on a lot and my boyfriend and I have a lot of fun experimenting from time to time. What I struggle with is the numbers, the clubs and the drug abuse (he used to use a lot of speed but has since stopped). I do not doubt at all the faithfulness of either my boyfriend or the poster’s boyfriend, but I can understand the inner turmoil and the struggle to conceptualize such a personal revelation. I can see why it would change her perception of him but I think she should stick it out – my boyfriend is still the person I fell in love with, just as her boyfriend is the same man that she wanted to father her child. I think the greatest struggle someone in this situation can face is grasping the bigger picture.

  4. The fault that I have with the bi-sexual baby’s Daddy, is that he didn’t tell her before she got pregnant. If she is a straight woman, what happen to her right to choose? 1. To go through with the pregnacy. 2. To end the realtonship with her bi-sexual boyfriend. It seems to me her rights were taken away. It is not the question if he would cheat, because bi-sexual men will always have two hungers for men and women. She will always wonder what he is doing. Bi-sexual men should stay with bi-sexual women and not cause unnessary pain for straight women. If he held back the truth in the beginning of the relationship, don’t look for much trust throughout the relationship ,

  5. There are too many idiots defending the guy without really understanding her issue. She’s entitled to her feellings he just threw a curve ball her way when she’s at her most vulnerable moment. He may be a great guy but he didn’t give her the option to decide if she was comfortable enough to be with a bi man. If he told her he was bi from the beginniing it would had been a different thing, but he didn’t. My advice is to really think about your decision. Maybe you should wait till you have your baby and yoou can think more clearly.

  6. He’s better off with out you. Not to sound harsh but hes clearly an open minded individual. He needs to be with someone whom is too. We are all just animals with better judgement.

  7. I’m stunned by the hate for this woman who is in a vulnerable state because she is pregnant and has been slammed because of her HONEST reaction to how she feels about the father of her child coming out as a bisexual. Everyone who is applauding the guy for his honesty, please…you are all hypocrites unless you accept the fact that she is being honest too. Having said that, I agree with the poster who said that the guy may turn out to be a wonderful father, but that does not mean she has to marry him or that she has to pretend to feel true love for him, if the bisexuality issue is so important to her, it sounds like a deal-breaker (and honestly, it would be a deal-breaker for me as well, as a hetero woman who yes, SHOCKINGLY does have bi and gay friends, but I am not in love/in a committed relationship with those people). Anyway, all you people who are so outraged by this woman’s honesty, I guess it’s easy for you to dictate how her feelings should be, since you’re not the ones in her situation. Kuko, good luck! I’m saying prayers for you, everything will work out, I’m sure….

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