Strength and Patience by Hendrick Goltzius (1500s)

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I feel I need to set up this dream. I’m a photographer and I made a trade with a lady once: I did her pictures and she dyed my hair. Now she is impossible to get a hold of. I have her pictures but she won’t respond to me on where to send her pictures. She even gave me a wrong address. She was also supposed to do my hair again but has flaked on that too, so I’m actually upset with her. Then last night (I started my period the night before, if that has anything to do with it), I had a dream we were at the wedding of a mutual friend and we decided to have sex. I know this doesn’t make me bi, but what I don’t understand is I’m mad at her, I don’t feel close to her and we haven’t come together. I’ve had plenty of sex dreams, also sex dreams were I am the man, but this is the first bi-sexual dream. What do you think it could mean?

Lauri: I believe the setting of this dream is a wedding because it is connected to the “commitment” you and this lady made to each other. I believe this is a friend’s wedding rather than it being your wedding or her wedding because you are feeling a bit removed from this commitment now that she has seemingly not lived up to her end. In real life you did “come together” in agreement on your barter and you wish to “come together” again with her to “finish” the agreement. Sex dreams don’t always mean that you DID come together on some level but can also mean you need to or want to “come together.” So, I think your dream wants you to keep trying. I’d be curious to know if you had an orgasm in the dream. Typically – not always – but typically that can indicate satisfaction over something in real life. If you didn’t orgasm then it would certainly make sense that you are still unsatisfied with this unfinished business.

Dreamer’s Response:  Thank you for helping me understand it. That does make more sense, I don’t know if I orgasimed or not, I just remember it felt good.

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

MORE FROM EMandLO.com:

• Oral Sex Tips to Use on Her
• What If Your Boyfriend Is on the Small Side?
• How Long Can a Virgin Make a Guy Wait?

photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

Real life info: I’m in a new relationship, one that is very healthy for me and I’m quite happy. I have had an ex remain in my heart for several years, not in the healthiest of ways. We talk occasionally, but less and less the closer I get to my new, loving beau. (Not common in my past attempted relationships.)

Last night I had a dream that this ex and I were being very intimate, having sex(ish?). Dream-me didn’t register it as cheating. There was no one around but the two of us, our significant others didn’t seem to exist, and we were enjoying it. It was a loving interaction. Makes sense as there are still flickers of desire between the two of us.

Here are the things I found unusual: I felt no guilt, paranoia, confusion, or distraction as I do in other intimate dreams. I was not so much myself, but a camera, watching me and the ex in our interaction, from varying angles. I think we were lying on stairs, stairs and a landing (heads facing upward), or floating. Lastly, I supposedly reached orgasm in the dream and came all over. But there was blood everywhere. Dream-me knew it wasn’t my period starting, or my “cherry being popped,” yet there was blood all over my underwear and on him. I couldn’t figure out why I had a blood-gasm.

This strange dream has had me in a funk. Please interpret!

Lauri: I believe your dream is trying to help you with this emotional triangle you are in. The guilt and paranoia are not in this dream because this ex has resided in your heart so deeply or for so long that it must seem natural and feels like home as opposed to other sex dream partners.

Your perspective in the dream is that of a spectator rather than a participant because, even though he feels comfortable to you, you are trying to detach yourself from him for the sake of your current relationship. It is also very significant that your dream takes place on the landing of a staircase. The landing is an in-between place and you are in an in-between place emotionally with this ex. You can either let these emotions build and progress (going upstairs) by continuing to have contact with him and entertaining thoughts of him, or you can let them fade (going downstairs) by cutting off contact and redirecting those naughty thoughts when they occur. The landing suggests you are “at a place” in your heart and mind where you need to decide which direction to go.

Now let’s talk about that blood-gasm, shall we? As lovely as that imagery is, it is also just as significant. So in order to figure out the significance we have to look at what an orgasm is: It is a satisfactory ending or completion of sex. It seems your dream is trying to help you “see,” just as you were a spectator in the dream, that this relationship with your ex is over. Obviously parts of it were very satisfactory to you, since you still hold feelings for him, but again, this dream is trying to help you move on.

And that is where the blood comes in. When we bleed in a dream it means that something is draining us in real life. It may be that you are giving too much of your energy or emotion to this ex and aren’t getting back what you are putting into it. And the blood is all in your underwear because this is something you have to keep under wraps.

The funk it left you with is important. I believe it is because deep down you realized what your dream was telling you: that in order to fully give yourself to your current boyfriend, you have to end the emotion you are still giving to your ex. The idea of completely letting go may be painful but, if you are planning on having a long, healthy, and trusting relationship, this has to end.

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

RELATED LINKS ON EMandLO.com:

• I Go Down On My Wife and She Has A Penis
• A Penis Dream Helps a Woman Heal Her Past
• If I’m a Guy and I Give a Man a BJ in a Dream, Does That Mean I’m Gay?

photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

This is the third sexual celebrity dream I’ve had this week! What is the deal? They are all different celebrities and different situations, and all hilariously random. OK, so first it was Daniel Tosh from Tosh.O. (haha) It was mostly us sitting around his house, making jokes, but he thought I was really funny and it was mostly flirting.

Then, it was the guy from “John Tucker Must Die,” Jesse Metcalfe. That was a weirder one where we were going to sneak off to have sex at a party, but then I was conflicted because I have a boyfriend, (which I do in real life) so I ended up taking a sexy shower in front of a room full of police officers (weird I know).

Then the third was with Johnny Knoxville. He was telling me how he just got this girl pregnant, which turned out to be a weird batmonster that she birthed (lol), and then he proceeded to give me oral sex… WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?! I feel like a crazy person.

Lauri: It’s okay! We’re all crazy people when we dream, quite frankly. The reason for that is because once we enter REM sleep (when dreaming takes place) the Prefrontal Cortex, the part of the brain that controls rational thought, goes dormant, so our reasoning and logic is not what it normally is when we are awake. Therefore, showering in front of a bunch of policemen won’t seem the least bit strange in a dream, nor hanging with or even banging celebrities.

The best way to figure out why a celebrity is making a guest appearance in your dream is to ask yourself what it is that celebrity is best known for. Is it a character they have played on TV or in the movies? Can you relate that character or show to your life right now? Is it a song? If so, does the title or the lyrics speak to you right now?

For example, Daniel Tosh of Tosh.o is a comedian, so he may represent your sense of humor. At the time of that dream, do you recall needing to have a good sense of humor about something? Jesse Metcalfe’s character in “John Tucker Must Die” is a serial cheater. You sneak off with him in the dream. In real life, had you cheated or done something sneaky? Or maybe it’s the name of the show that holds relevance. Anything in your life, any issue or behavior that needs to end or “die?”

The shower in front of the policemen is very interesting and suggests there may be something you need to come clean about, or there may be some frustration or negative issue you need to cleanse yourself of. The police are most likely your ability to police your behavior and/or put a stop to what is not right. Again, this seems to tie into the “John Tucker Must Die” aspect of the dream.

And finally, Johnny Knoxville may represent your daring dangerous side… unless Knoxville, TN, means anything to you. Impregnating a girl who then gave birth to a batmonster seems to suggest that your daring side has brought forth some sort of crazy situation into your life. Bats in dreams can often mean you have a bad feeling about something. So all these details in your dream suggest there might be an awfully juicy story behind it! Do tell!

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

MORE FROM EMandLO.com:

• How Do You Give Your Partner Advice About Oral Sex?
• How Often Do BJs Occur in Relationships?
• Oral Sex Tips to Use on Her

photo via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I had a dream I was having oral sex with a woman I didn’t recognize. My husband was there watching. What does that mean?

Lauri: Typically, when the mouth is brought to attention in a dream… no matter where the mouth may be, you can usually connect it to the way you have been communicating in waking life. Oral sex is often about intimate conversation. Do you recall, around the time of this dream either having an intimate conversation with your husband or perhaps with someone else?

The unknown woman in your dream is a part of you (most everything in our dreams represents a part of the self unless you’re dreaming of your spouse, child or someone you deal with on a daily basis). Lesbian action in a dream — if you’re straight — is about connecting with and really appreciating your own feminine wiles and qualities. For example, lesbian dreams are particularly common in pregnant women’s dreams because being pregnant is the epitome of being female. At the time of this dream, were you really appreciating your curves or your creativity or your ability to nurture? Being that this may be connected to conversation, were you able to successfully negotiate or make a point by communicating in a gentle and understanding manner rather than being aggressive?

Unless hubby’s watching in the dream was creeping you out, it probably means he approves of you putting your feminine wiles to good use!

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

RELATED LINKS ON EMandLO.com:

• How Do You Give Your Partner Advice About Oral Sex?
• How Often Do BJs Occur in Relationships?
• Oral Sex Tips to Use on Her

photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I am pregnant and keep having the same dream. That my boyfriend has different personalities and tries to control me from calling the police or my family or anyone to get help before he kills me. It’s very vivid and scary. What could this possibly mean?

Lauri: Dreams during pregnancy can absolutely make you think you’re whack-a-doodle! So you seem to be right where you should be dream-wise. Believe it or not, it is actually extremely common to dream of death and murder while you are pregnant. The reason is because being pregnant ends your life the way you once knew it to be. In addition, you have to forcibly end (murder) certain behaviors while pregnant like smoking, drinking, strenuous exercise, etc.

This might explain why your boyfriend is trying to murder you in your dream. To start with, he’s the one that got you pregnant, therefore killing off not only your life as you once knew it, but also killing off your old identity, because you are now an incubator and soon will be a mother.

As far as him controlling you… is he on you about what you eat and what you do, so as not to endanger the baby? And if so, is he on you more than you would like him to be?  If that’s the case and he’s not trying to control you in any other way, then this could be a good sign that he will be an attentive daddy once your little munchkin pops out!

It’s also possible that you are getting this dream because you now no longer feel in control of your life or your body, which is perfectly normal when you are pregnant, and especially so if this is your first. It’s a hell of an adjustment to make. So relax. And tell that man of yours to relax, too. Your pregnancy will be over before you know it and it can really be a magical journey if you let it.

By the way, you may want to get my first book, So, What Did You Dream Last Night? It has an entire chapter on pregnancy dreams, how they change through each trimester — and it even covers daddy-to-be dreams as well!

RELATED LINKS ON EMandLO.com:

• A “Beautiful Body” Project Celebrates Hot Mamas
• I Dream I’m Pregnant But Can’t Pee on a Stick
• Dear Dr. Kate: Why Can’t We Get Pregnant?

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

image by King Chimp, from “Nosferatu”

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I am big into pain while having sex, and I am also into vampires. My fiance and I live together and he knows about the things I like. Well, one night while we were both sleeping he snuck up on me like vampire. Like he was lying next to me in bed and slowly creeped on top of me. He then pushed my shoulders down holding me tight and bit my neck. I liked every second of this because I LOVE being dominated and controlled in the bedroom. What I don’t get is why he did this while he was sleeping. After about 10 seconds, he let go, turned around and went back to sleep. He didn’t even remember doing it the next day! What does it mean? Am I just lucky or should I be worried?
Lauri: Aw, man.Too bad for you he didn’t continue!!While it is not unusual to talk in one’s sleep, it is more unusual to act out while asleep.So I have a few questions for you to pose to your boyfriend.Does he have a history of sleep walking?Sleep walkers in childhood often go through phases of it again as adults and it’s often triggered by stress.While he didn’t actually get up and walk, he did act out so if he did sleep walk as a child, keep an eye on him in case he actually makes it out of bed next time.Is he on any sleep aids such as Ambien?Ambien has been known to cause all kinds of parasomnias, which are abnormal and unnatural movements, behaviors, emotions and perceptions that occur while falling asleep, sleeping, between sleep stages, or arousal from sleep. One of the most reported parasomnias caused by Ambien is sleep sex!If he answered no to all of the above, then keep yourself aware of his sleep behavior.If he acts out again, start keeping track.It couldbe the beginnings of REM Behavior Disorder where people act out their violent dreams.It mostly affects men and, of the men affected, most are middle aged.It can be treated with muscle relaxers should that wind up being the case.But odds are it is nothing to worry about and should give you a great role playing game idea for the bedroom… if you haven’t acted that out already.

Response from dreamer: This does seem right. He said that he was caught sleep walking once as a child, but hasn’t noticed or been told about it besides that.  We have had sex after “waking up” in the middle of the night, and he hasn’t ever remembered it the next day. I have told him about it, and he just is in amazement that it happened. He is not on any kind of sleeping medications.  He also grinds his teeth really bad while he sleeps. Is this a part of REM Behavioral Disorder? Thank you for taking the time and answering my questions! It eases my mind to know that him acting like a vampire in his sleep isn’t really anything to worry about.

photo via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I had the strangest dream last night, and it is still freaking me out. I was sleeping next to my boyfriend while dreaming he was an international terrorist. I was waiting for him in a hotel lobby while he checked us in. Two agents came over to me and tried to convince me my boyfriend is trying to plant a weapon of mass destruction. As evidence, they dug something out of his camera bag that appeared to be a memory chip in oil in a Tupperware container. I ran to our room where my boyfriend now was, convinced he was a terrorist, but ended up warning him to escape, unsure whether I believed his pleas that he was innocent. I felt so confused and unsure whether to believe him. What does this mean?!?

Lauri:  This dream is probably a commentary on something that happened earlier that day. Keep in mind that the emotional centers of the brain are highly active during the dream state, so our thoughts and emotions are rather exaggerated.

Your boyfriend being a terrorist in the dream is likely connected to some sort of anger or aggression he may have exhibited that day. Your dream may have created him as a terrorist because you felt that his anger or hostility was unfounded or unreasonable… or maybe he was even being a fanatic about something. Nonetheless, your dreaming was also reminding you that it was only a temporary thing since it placed you in a hotel (we stay in hotels for a temporary amount of time).

The two agents telling you about the weapon of mass destruction may have been the way you were trying to convince yourself that perhaps he has the ability to really explode… unless there was something else at the time you thought he might try to wipe out, such as a friendship, a behavior, etc.

The memory chip may be a reminder about past incidents or past behaviors that you need to be aware of. Have other people warned you about him or told you stories that concerned you? Or is there anything from your own past with him that concerns you? The chip being in oil in a Tupperware container is interesting. Would you say he is very slick and able to easily contain a bad situation?

The confusion you have over his innocence in the dream is directly to uncertainty you have about him or the relationship in real life. Did he show you a bad side of himself that is now making you wonder about him? The ending of the dream gave you something you need to figure out in real life. So, I will leave you with this little piece of wisdom Dr. Phil likes to say: “The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.”

RELATED LINKS ON EMandLO.com:

• I Go Down On My Wife and She Has A Penis
• A Penis Dream Helps a Woman Heal Her Past
• If I’m a Guy and I Give a Man a BJ in a Dream, Does That Mean I’m Gay?
• Lelo’s 3 Classic Toys Are Now 100% More Powerful!

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

photo via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

Last night I dreamt that when I was on vacation it was cut short by a death in my family. So I went back for the funeral and then continued my trip. When I got back I met this very attractive artsy bad ass type. We hit it off and unclothed each other, revealing his long thick penis! And begin to have passionate intense sex, when interrupted by my current boyfriend of 2 years. My boyfriend stormed off and so did my “dream man.” I continued the dream upset, knowing I ruined my relationship, but still looking for the other guy. Please interpret, I don’t know what to think of this dream!

Lauri:  You have two interruptions in this dream: Your vacation being interrupted by a death, and then sex being interrupted by your boyfriend. What in your waking life was in progress or moving forward but had to come to a stop or suddenly changed? Look at your relationship first. Did you two have to take a break from each other for some reason? Or put the brakes on something within the relationship? That might be where the death comes in. The death is something that has ended or changed either in the relationship or in your own life or in your own behavior.

I believe the guy that you describe as a bad ass is some part of your own personality and his long, thick penis is your own male, assertive energy. Just as you undressed him and discovered that “part” of him in the dream, did you recently reveal a more “bad ass” and assertive part of yourself? Are you the one that “manned up” and put your foot down about something? It seems that your bad ass self has upset the apple cart and your boyfriend.

In real life, are you afraid your relationship has reached a point of no return? Did you pull back your assertiveness in waking life, just as the bad ass guy took off in the dream? The fact that you still yearned for Mr. Bad Ass is a good indication that you feel you need to continue to be bold, even though it may not sit well with others.

RELATED LINKS ON EMandLO.com:

• I Go Down On My Wife and She Has A Penis
• A Penis Dream Helps a Woman Heal Her Past
• If I’m a Guy and I Give a Man a BJ in a Dream, Does That Mean I’m Gay?
• Lelo’s 3 Classic Toys Are Now 100% More Powerful!

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

photo via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

There is no eloquent way to put this dream but here it goes: So, a new guy spent the night with me recently. We’ve had sex in the past, but didn’t on this particular night. While I was sleeping, I dreamed that we were having sex. When he finished, he pulled out and came on my face, but the amount of fluid was way more than would occur in real life. It got in my eyes and it burned like crap! It was like I was suffocating on his man juice. Gross and probably one of the stranger dreams I’ve had.

Lauri:  Interesting! As you may know, if you are a regular reader of this column, dreams involving sex are usually not about sex at all. SO let’s have a looksy and figure this out.

My first question is, why didn’t you two have sex that night? Typically, in a new relationship, it’s damn near impossible to keep your hands off each other. The symbolism in your dream makes me wonder if you had a disagreement or that perhaps he said something that didn’t sit well with you. He pulled out in the dream. In real life did he pull out of some obligation or plans you two had made?

He also came – a lot – in your face. In real life did he really unload on you in some way? Or do you recall him
doing or mentioning something that brought him great satisfaction? The fact that gave you a “facial” makes me think that something must have happened that day that made you “face” some sort of reality that maybe you had been turning a blind eye towards until then.

And speaking of eyes, let’s talk about the burning you felt in your eyes in the dream. I have discovered in my research that physical pain that is felt in a dream can almost always be connected to emotional pain in waking life. Do you recall him upsetting you that day or evening? Burning pain, in particular, is usually about anger in real life, something that really burned you up. And since this burning was in your eyes, I wonder if something opened your eyes and gave you a new perspective about this guy or about your relationship… or perhaps it was a new perspective on something else entirely but that he is the one that caused you to change your perspective.

The end of a dream is where you can find the most important part of the message, kind of like how the moral to a story is always at the end. The way you say “suffocating on his man juice” I think is pretty telling. Did he behave a bit too macho or arrogantly? Did he put you down in some way because of your gender? The suffocation suggests you were feeling stifled or crowded in some way that day. Since it’s a new relationship, perhaps you were trying to overlook it but it seems your inner self was upset about something. Your dreams will never lie to you!

RELATED LINKS ON EMandLO.com:

• I Go Down On My Wife and She Has A Penis
• A Penis Dream Helps a Woman Heal Her Past
• If I’m a Guy and I Give a Man a BJ in a Dream, Does That Mean I’m Gay?
• Lelo’s 3 Classic Toys Are Now 100% More Powerful!

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I had a dream I was having oral sex with a female but don’t know the face. My husband was there and watching. What does that mean?

Lauri:  Let’s get the obvious out of the way first: Are you and hubby discussing the idea of bringing another woman into the bedroom? If so, then your dreaming mind is providing you dress rehearsal by putting you in that very real scenario, so that you you experience it and therefore decide if this is for you or not.

If not, then you might find it interesting to know that oral sex in a dream can usually be connected to intimate conversation in waking life. Anytime the events in your dream involve your mouth, the first thing you wanna do is look at the way you have been communicating lately. Your oral partner in the dream can be a big clue! Yours was an unfamiliar female. Since she isn’t an actual person you know, then she is likely to represent general female attributes: sensitivity, creativity, nurturing instincts, etc. At the time of this dream, do you recall having an emotional, deep or caring conversation with anyone? Ask Lauri to
Interpret Your Dream!Or have you been working on “coming” (ahem) across as more caring or sensitive?

Hubby was watching, so that’s a good indication the conversation could have been with him or it could be that he encourages you to communicate this way… unless his watching creeped you out or made you feel pressured in the dream, in which case you may feel he is very judgmental of the way you communicate in real life. So which of the above is it? Inquiring Em & Lo readers want to know!

RELATED LINKS ON EMandLO.com:

• I Go Down On My Wife and She Has A Penis
• A Penis Dream Helps a Woman Heal Her Past
• If I’m a Guy and I Give a Man a BJ in a Dream, Does That Mean I’m Gay?
• Lelo’s 3 Classic Toys Are Now 100% More Powerful!

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.