Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: June 29th, 2015

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) If you’re not with someone who’s got their head in the game (or at least between your thighs), start thinking about trading players. taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) It’s probably best to avoid slipping some Spanish Fly into your partner’s cocktail, attempting stealth hypnosis, or tying them to your bedpost in the […]

Your Horoscopes in Song Lyrics: June 22nd, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) Today, it’s “Your Stars in Song Lyrics”! Bonus points if you can find a karaoke bar this week to belt out your own personal lyrics. aries […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: June 15th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) The time to take action is now, but don’t do it with force — use your head. Your ability to be […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: June 8th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) You’ve got more pep than a Mountain Dew commercial, and this week, everyone’s going to want to do the Dew. If […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: Fortune Cookie Week (June 1st)

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) This week, we get our inspiration from the best place to get life advice (besides here): fortune cookies. aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Socializing will […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: May 26th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) This week, beware of smooth talkers, smooth criminals, smooth moves, and X-Lax. taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) Spontaneity will win you […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes – Haiku Edition: May 18th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) They say they’re single. Who are you to believe them? Truth eludes us all. taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) If you […]

Your Weekly Horos: May 11th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Got any overly cautious friends in the house? If so, this might be a good week to seek advice from […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: May 4th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) This week, be the bottom. taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) You’re one of those incredibly successful multi-taskers who has a full-time […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: Sexual Positions Edition

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Keeping up with the Joneses in bed is a terrible idea. But every now and then it’s fun to be […]