Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: May 26th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) This week, beware of smooth talkers, smooth criminals, smooth moves, and X-Lax. taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) Spontaneity will win you […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes – Haiku Edition: May 18th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) They say they’re single. Who are you to believe them? Truth eludes us all. taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) If you […]

Your Weekly Horos: May 11th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Got any overly cautious friends in the house? If so, this might be a good week to seek advice from […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: May 4th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) This week, be the bottom. taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) You’re one of those incredibly successful multi-taskers who has a full-time […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: Sexual Positions Edition

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Keeping up with the Joneses in bed is a terrible idea. But every now and then it’s fun to be […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: April 20th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) You’re living Les Liaisons Dangereuse this week. You are Madame de Tourvel (or Michelle Pfeiffer, for those of who prefer […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: April 13th, 2015

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) The time is perfect to fall in love. All you need is a spunky Gemini or Leo or Aquarius. Oh sure, just go to the corner store and pick one up. They’re on sale, conveniently lined up on the shelf in alphabetical order. Right next to world peace and those cute […]

Your Haiku Horoscopes: April 6th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) I eat an apple. Outside it’s red, inside brown. Next time, banana. taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: March 30th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) This week, your sex drive and your sexual opportunties will be completely in sync. Don’t you […]

Your (Hamlet) Horoscopes: March 23rd, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) “To the noble mind / Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. ” (III, i) […]