Okay, before we tell you how to ejaculate, we have to set a couple things straight:
First, yes, women can ejaculate.
Next: no, not all women ejaculate. So if it doesn’t happen for you, please don’t stress about it or feel like your parts aren’t working properly. The last thing we mean to do is set up an unrealistic sexpectation. And partners, please don’t make it your “mission” to turn your gal into a geyser. It’s okay to give it the ol’ college try, but know when to give up.
Some women squirt across the bed, others barely trickle, still others find G-spot stimulation so painful or annoying that they never get far enough to find out, and many may not have the kind of equipment that would allow them to ejaculate at all. And that’s okay. But seeing as we’re always being asked how to make it happen, we thought we’d at least tell you how to try.
So, without further ado, here are our top ten tips for nurturing your inner female ejaculator:
1. Go for the G. Most women who ejaculate say it happens as a result of direct, firm, prolonged G-spot stimulation. Remember, while all women have a G-spot, not all women enjoy having theirs stimulated. If you’re one of those women, we recommend you give up now and try learning a new position or something instead. If you’re not, locate your G-spot on the upper, or front wall of your vagina, about two inches in. Curve your finger in a “come hither” gesture, toward the belly button.
2. Fly solo first. There’s less pressure and you can take as long as you want without worrying that you’re boring anyone. Not that this is boring, of course.
3. Use a tool. Once your partner’s involved, they might want to try a toy specifically designed for the G-spot, like the G-Swirl from GoodVibes or Lelo’s Mona. But really, any toy with that “come hither” hook is good–because most G-spots respond well to firm, steady, prolonged stimulation. And not all fingers can provide that.
4. Let it go. You’re going to feel like you’ve got to pee, but don’t worry about wetting the bed–if you’ve gone to the bathroom beforehand, there shouldn’t be a problem. But even if there is a little pee, is it really a problem? We’re all grownups here.
5. Bear down. Take “letting go” a step further by actually pushing out when you feel the urge to pee, like you’re in a pee-off and you’re about to take the lead.
6. Don’t block the exit. A large toy, a penis or a hand might cut off the urethral opening (and that’s where female ejaculate comes out — though as we’ve said before, it’s not actually pee). Keep up the stimulation, just get them out of the way as best you can.
7. Get hot and bothered. Being super sexed-up, overcome with lust, and engulfed in the flames of desire means a number of things: a) Your G-spot is easier to find and can take more pressure, which means more experimental poking. b) Your pelvic muscles are more relaxed, which makes it easier to let go. c) You’re more likely to have an orgasm, causing pelvic contractions which help expel the fluid. d) You’re super sexed-up, overcome with lust, and engulfed in the flames of desire!
8. Have an orgasm first. Ejaculating might be easier after your groin has already been warmed up and relaxed by an explosive O.
9. Make clean-up a cinch. Put down towels or a waterproof pad (you’ll find them in the incontinence aisle at the pharmacy) or a fitted vinyl or PVC sheet (available at most sex shops) so you’re not stressed about wetting the bed. Or do it in the bathtub; if you actually run a bath, the warm water will also help you relax.
10. Drink water. When you’re dehydrated, your body gets retentive with all its fluids, including female ejaculate. Just make sure you pee before you attempt any of the above in order to avoid having an accident.