Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. If you’ve got a good one, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg just might tell you what it means! Click here to submit yours (18 and older only for dream interpretations, please). This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I’m a cis female and have been having sexual dreams. In my dream I am a man and I’m masturbating. Each dream is different but is always like that. I only dream of masturbating as a guy, never a woman.

Lauri:  I’ve found that there are three main reasons we get masturbation dreams: 

1. Whenever we’ve gone a while without sexual activity in waking life, the body starts to need it and the mind makes up for it in the form of a sexually gratifying dream, masturbation or otherwise. The mind and body compensate for what the body is not getting in waking life. 
2. Masturbation dreams in particular can be connected to the need to gratify yourself in other ways in waking life. For example, when you are giving so much of your time and energy on others rather than doing anything worthy for yourself.
3. The most common cause of masturbation dreams is being pleased with oneself in real life. At the time of these dreams, were you excelling at anything in particular? Were others giving you praise or showing appreciation to you… or were you just feeling pretty high on yourself in general?

The fact that you were a guy is a big clue! Gender bending in dreams is pretty common. For a girl to dream she’s a guy often means she has been assertive in some way, “grown a pair,” so to speak. Have you been “ballsy” lately or “standing up” for yourself and if so, has it yielded pleasing results? I’m betting that’s the case. So rather than letting these dreams concern you, look at them as a reward from your subconscious mind for a job well done!

Response from dreamer: Thank you for getting back to me. The praise around that time plus body needs makes a lot of sense. It’s wonderful how a persons subconscious puts things together.

Visit Lauri’s site, WhatYourDreamMeans.com, for even more dream interpretations! If you want to be able to figure out your own dreams each morning, check out her latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, which will give you the tools you need to become a dream expert. You can see all of Lauri’s books here. And hey, if you want your very own pin-up painting of you or your luvva (either vintage or modern), Lauri can do that, too!