Wise Guys: Is Sex With a Condom Really All That Bad?

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: Okay, so how different is intercourse with a condom? What does it feel like? Do different kinds of condoms make a difference?

Straight Married Guy (Fred): It’s different.  It’s not as good.  Think pancakes without the syrup.  Scratching an itch with the palm of your hand.  A foot massage while wearing slippers.  “American Idol” without Adam Lambert.  It’s still okay, just not great.  It can be frustrating for guys because everything else about the experience is vivid but where it really counts it is dull.  And we know what it feels like au natural.  Different types of condoms definitely make a difference.  Anything that says super-thin, ultra-thin, sensitive, etc., are usually waaaay better than your regular, cheap, vending-machine rubbers.  Sometimes you have to use them.  If you’re dating, it’s obviously a must.  Ladies, if you’re buying, do him the favor of getting the thin, high quality ones.  And remember, the more excited he is, the less he’ll be distracted by the lack of feeling, so getting a little naughtier than usual can really help.

Gay Engaged Guy (Joel Derfner, author of Swish): I’m an exclusive bottom, so I had to e-mail hundreds of — er, a few past sexual partners to ask them.  The general consensus was that it’s different but not by a whole lot.  With a condom you have less sensation (“33% less,” said one when I asked) but you last longer (I didn’t ask, but the obsessive-compulsive in me has decided that it’s 33% longer), so it’s kind of a trade-off.  Thin condoms are better, apparently, and polyurethane condoms are by far the best (though they’re more expensive).  All the men surveyed said that condoms felt better when they were having sex with me than with other partners.

Straight Single Guy (L.A. Chris): It’s very different. Basically, it sucks. But not in a good way. What is it like? It’s like getting a massage with a sweater on. It’s like watching a movie with the sound off. I guess a way to describe it to a woman is that it’s like having sex with a guy with a really small penis. It’s sex…but not really. If you have to wear one (and you definitely should if you’re having casual sex), thinner condoms are better, and it helps to find one that fits right.

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Gay Engaged Guy is Joel Derfner, author of Swish.To ask the guys your own question, click here.

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2 years 3 months ago


3 years 3 months ago

Obviously if you’re engaging in casual sex you should use a condom, but that said, bare sex feels so much better!! There’s just something so sexy about knowing there is nothing in between, you can feel the head of his penis more, and instead of the somewhat muted sensations you get with a condom, you can feel your man’s cock instead of just rubber and its awesome! I lubricate a lot more than is necessary but just feeling a man slide inside with nothing on…theres nothing like it. I’ve only ever had unprotected sex with 2 men, coincidentally (or maybe not) they are the only 2 men i have ever loved.

3 years 3 months ago

Its like taking a bath with your shoes on…

3 years 3 months ago

I’m a girl. I always found condoms make me feel dry, and I lose the mood, and sex becomes a chore. It frustrates both me and my partner. I’m considering the shot now because sex with a condom just doesn’t work with me.

3 years 5 months ago

Beware the man who refers to potential sex partners as “floozies.”