Wise Guys: Is Sex With a Condom Really All That Bad?

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: Okay, so how different is intercourse with a condom? What does it feel like? Do different kinds of condoms make a difference?

Straight Married Guy (Fred): It’s different.  It’s not as good.  Think pancakes without the syrup.  Scratching an itch with the palm of your hand.  A foot massage while wearing slippers.  “American Idol” without Adam Lambert.  It’s still okay, just not great.  It can be frustrating for guys because everything else about the experience is vivid but where it really counts it is dull.  And we know what it feels like au natural.  Different types of condoms definitely make a difference.  Anything that says super-thin, ultra-thin, sensitive, etc., are usually waaaay better than your regular, cheap, vending-machine rubbers.  Sometimes you have to use them.  If you’re dating, it’s obviously a must.  Ladies, if you’re buying, do him the favor of getting the thin, high quality ones.  And remember, the more excited he is, the less he’ll be distracted by the lack of feeling, so getting a little naughtier than usual can really help.

Gay Engaged Guy (Joel Derfner, author of Swish): I’m an exclusive bottom, so I had to e-mail hundreds of — er, a few past sexual partners to ask them.  The general consensus was that it’s different but not by a whole lot.  With a condom you have less sensation (“33% less,” said one when I asked) but you last longer (I didn’t ask, but the obsessive-compulsive in me has decided that it’s 33% longer), so it’s kind of a trade-off.  Thin condoms are better, apparently, and polyurethane condoms are by far the best (though they’re more expensive).  All the men surveyed said that condoms felt better when they were having sex with me than with other partners.

Straight Single Guy (L.A. Chris): It’s very different. Basically, it sucks. But not in a good way. What is it like? It’s like getting a massage with a sweater on. It’s like watching a movie with the sound off. I guess a way to describe it to a woman is that it’s like having sex with a guy with a really small penis. It’s sex…but not really. If you have to wear one (and you definitely should if you’re having casual sex), thinner condoms are better, and it helps to find one that fits right.

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Gay Engaged Guy is Joel Derfner, author of Swish.To ask the guys your own question, click here.


  1. I just can’t stand them. Sometimes I will lose erection and rip it off and then do it anyways yet luckily I have no STDS. However, I no longer really have any drive to go out and get “strange” from girls my own age, even though they are extremely beautiful (I am 23) because I am scared that I am going to get some random floosy pregnant, or get STD’s myself. About 90% of my experiences end up with the condom off, and I used to be really good at pulling out, but now it is going so long I have no confidence I will not explode uncontrollably. Last time I did it I had to buy the girl a morning after pill because I half came inside of her! That was just kind of awkward and strange to do. I guess now I’m looking for the real thing, and I hate to say it but if she’s against birth control, it might not work out.

  2. Have you ever like been to the movies then right when you get to the good part it breaks down?!!!? Well that’s how it feels with the condom like he is getting all sexy and dirty then I saw an ad for condoms and I told him that I wouldn’t have sex unless we used these. I’m proud of myself! But I do missvthr dirty felleling I used to get when he really had his penis in there!! Thanks so much for the article!!

  3. I really don’ t know abot this but sex is better without the condom and I know it is safer but it is waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy more sexy to go without it! I just love the way it feels without the condom but we still use it!

  4. OMG!!! I always thought that there was no differace. Now I know what to get!! Thanks so much for these articals!

  5. Ultrathin condoms also give the female more feel–there is less of a (literal) rubber feeling inside and once things get going, you almost forget that he has a condom on!!

  6. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months now and he has brought up the issue of sex without a condom MANY times. I do not want to have sex without one, for fear of an unwanted pregnancy. When we first had sex, we used the generic condoms and everything was okay. Recently,we tried the ultrathin condoms, which he said he LOVED, because it gave him more sensation. He has had issues with maintaining his erection after he puts the condom on, and that is something that we are currently working on. But for now, the high quality ultrathin condoms are a success. 🙂

  7. I think this depends on the guy. Some guys are ultra sensitive to condoms and lose their hard-on as soon as they try to put one on. Others seem to not think twice about them. As a woman, I don’t know how it feels for a guy but I love the nakedness which is the ultimate intimacy. I have only done that with 2 guys that I was closest to sexually before meeting my current boyfriend.

  8. Mr partner and I a few years ago had to use a condom and tried the female condom. Wow what a damn good idea that was. There was something about the way it was positioned in her vagina that made her go wild. She would climax in less thn a minute and scream the house down, it was such a turn on that even now when we do not need to use one we still do on occasion just for the fun and excitement of it.

  9. I’m not convinced for a single second that “Fred” is straight. He likes American Idol? And worse still, he puts Adam Lambert on a pedestal? The dude is as straight as his taste in music is good.

  10. having sex with condom is just ok for preventing pregnancy,STI’S AND HIV but u will never enjoy sex withsome artificial rubber like this however lubricated it may be.my GF like live sex coz it makes her feel relaxed.

  11. some of you people are ridiculous. your that selfish that you would rather get 20 minutes of pleasure and risk having a std or baby for life? is that worth your life? wake up and realize that you have to make sacrifices and if you truly love someone you will both understand the risk and care about each others futures. you can use a condom and still get off.

Comments are closed.