Your Call: How Can She Stop the Harassment from Her Ex?

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We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below:

Dear Em & Lo,

My ex-boyfriend’s new girl will not stop harassing me! It took me a while, but after 6 years (age 16 – 22) of verbal and physical abuse I finally broke up with my high school “sweetheart.” I moved out of the county (small town), stopped communication with mutual friends, and have not contacted him since. I now live over 1000 miles away. My ex and his new girlfriend (now fiance) continue these trash campaigns against me on Facebook and by prank phone calls — they get their entire family involved (did I mention I used to date rednecks?).

I have never met his new girl nor tried to contact her. The old me would have retaliated against them but I know it will only make things worse. But I can’t pretend that their hateful words towards me AND my family doesn’t affect me.

After one of their episodes, I contemplate for days on how to get revenge. I think of threatening them by releasing photos, videos, and letters because I know it will hurt her. I’ve considered posting responses on my Facebook that would showcase their insecurities and ignorance. But I know any reaction that I show will only create more drama and give them the satisfaction of thinking I still care. But I do care. I obsess for days on how to make them stop for good. I never go through with anything and eventually I forget about it. Then a month goes by and it starts again.

I’ve kept quiet for nearly four years. I’m completely fed up and they don’t seem to be moving on.  What could (or should) I do without compromising my integrity? Please help!

Thank you,
Head Held High

What should HHH do?

Say Something

18 Comments on "Your Call: How Can She Stop the Harassment from Her Ex?"

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See Blocked Number

The technology just makes it so easy to stalk and harass people. With the phone calls and online attacks recently with my ex, I think I want live in a cabin off the grid.

Dennis Chadwell

I have a female friend being constantly called, text, and recently mailed a letter by an ex-boy friend. She has gone to police but he has connections with local police and they swept it under the rug. I fear that this guy is going to eventually do something. He says that he is moving on but days later he is back at it. What should she do?


Sounds like Grace has the best advice! YOU don’t have to let this continue! Do yourself a favor and stop being the victim! Use Grace’s advice!!!!

HHH what is being done to you is against the law and it is called Harassment by Communication. It carries a 2-5 years manditory sentence. As for AT&T telling you they can’t trace the call that is a lie. There is no such thing as privacy with phones anymore. Also there is a different charge if they are using a cell phone to commit their crime. I found this out when I served as a jurer on a federal case. The defendant used his cell to commit crimes and their were phone records as evidence so naturally he was found… Read more »
Hey there I dealt with someone posting very horrible stuff on facebook about a year ago. On this persons profile is a button saying block/report abuse. Slander counts as abuse and facebook has a policy on it. The made me fill in a form and provide details like date of post contents and reasons for complaint. They then go through a process which they keep you in the loop for. They analyze the persons profile and determine if you complaint is valid. If they find a problem they immediately permanently delete the offending posts. If the person re offends they… Read more »

^ Wow, great answer! Now you know exactly what to do.

I have the same problem with an ex-gf of mine. Since she moved 3000 miles away, it’s no longer under state jurisdiction, but now a matter for the FBI. (And if a call from the FBI won’t stop him dead in his redneck tracks, nothing will!!) Here are the steps you have to follow, as told to me by my local District Attorney: (1) Immediately go to your local precinct and file a report of harassment. This gets the paper trail to the law. Bring as many printouts as you have, but don’t worry about bringing EVERYTHING from 4 years… Read more »