A New Word for Webster’s: Melon Balling

It’s official! That unspeakable term for the act involving a woman’s boobies and a man’s peen is out — and “melon balling” is in! Arbitrarily and without warning, we closed the polls today on the election of a new word to replace the awful…don’t make us say it (you know, it’s the one with the initials T.F.). It was a close call between “boob job” and “melon balling,” but just like in our last presidential election, the better choice won. (Congratulations and many thanks to Dave W. who recommended the term in response to our first post on the topic.) While the original term had an immature aggression to it,  the new one has a sweet, playful tone — which is always nice when it comes to sexual terms (even terms referencing acts that can be truly raunchy). “Boob job” is fun too, but its more common meaning of breast augmentation would have only resulted in mass confusion. Now that “melon balling” has won, it’s time to wholeheartedly embrace this neologism. Actively use it when requesting or suggesting the act. In fact, try using it in a sentence at least once a day with your friends and family. (Okay, maybe not your family.) We won’t be satisfied until “melon balling” becomes the universally accepted term for the act which needs no further explanation. If Dan Savage could do it for “pegging,” we can all do it for sweet, sweet “melon balling.”


  1. I would be a little cautious that you are not misunderstood in suggesting such activity – one definition I found was “The act of having sexual intercourse with a member of the melon family such as a Canteloupe or Honeydew. A hole is drilled in the rind of the melon and it is heated in the microwave to the appropriate temperature.”

    I assume that was ‘body temperature’ -one imagines that insertion into a microwaved melon could be quite dangerous!

  2. I like the term melon balling – but it doesn’t make me think I’ll enjoy “melon balling” any more – just don’t get the fascination with it! Maybe I’m doin it wrong?!?! lol

  3. To answer the “how do we say what we were doing” questions, try this:
    ” Last night, we did a little melon balling,” or “Last night, when we were melon balling . . . .” That lets you avoid the “I was balling her melons,” which almost sounds worse than the euphemism we were trying to avoid.

    My $0.02.

  4. Roxanne, melon-balling is a new term for “titty-fuck”ing, not for boob-jobs.

  5. Oh, what’s in a name?
    In this case, where the common term is so strangely un-sexy, plenty.

    Melon-balling isn’t a sport I’ve tried just yet, but upon consideration of just -why- that is, I sincerely believe the currently common term sounded- common; vulgar; gross. It’s not something I would suggest, just because it doesn’t sound like fun. Melon-balling sounds like fun and something woth looking into.

    Thanks Ladies!

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