Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
The worst scenario I had was with a beautiful boy I met in college. We had amazing chemistry and he was built to the hilt, but after two months (in the 80s no less, lol) I was getting a little aggressive for sex, hello…well he had was what I have heard is a “micro penis” which fully erect was only about an inch. By the time I tackled him and made him do it (I am a redhead) I was really shocked and I tried to make it work but man oh man it was a theatrical performance. I heard that Osama Bin Laden has a micro penis and an american woman laughed her tits off at his penis and made fun of him in the disco era in Lebbanon which I presume was a very hot spot back in the day, thats why he is so incensed? I read it in Vanity Fair not just a stupid rumor….lol
So, you’re comparing micropenis men with Osama Bin Laden? That’s a very ridiculous and offensive comparison and there is nothing funny about it.
Davey, who on earth told you that an average-sized penis is too small to satisfy a woman? What a load of bull! 5″-7″ is more than enough for me! The vagina may stretch when it needs to (but nobody ever called childbirth enjoyable!), but most of the time when it’s relaxed, it sits closed (just like the anus). It is not a “very big wet hole” – it simply stretches to accommodate whatever is inserted.
But getting back to Sizeist: give the new guy a go. Seriously. I went from a boyfriend with a 9″ dick (who didn’t claim to know that he was big, and so didn’t go through the “I don’t have to try” phase) to one who was 4″ at a stretch. Which one felt better? The 4″ guy was AWESOME!!! 9″ was ok, and very considerate in bed, but he always kept hitting my cervix (which I find really painful) and still never got all the way in. 4″ got in right to the hilt, meaning LOTS of pelvis-to-pelvis contact and LOTS of clitoral stimulation. No hands required, and huge orgasms! 😀
In all honesty, the only problem with the 4″ guy turned out to be the massive chip on his shoulder from the fact that previous girlfriends had called him small. It didn’t matter that I found the sex mind-blowing, because he was so insecure that he convinced himself that I was lying. That sucked. His worry over his imaginary “inadequacy” lost me the best sex I’ve ever had.
Really, both men and women need to get over the whole “bigger is better” myth. Guess what guys: if a woman call you small, nine times out of ten it’s just because she’s trying to hurt your feelings. Size is no measurement of satisfaction.
Wow! Jean I agree with you. =)
Girl size definitely does not matter. My ex(in his mind) thought he was huge. The only orgasm I got from him was through oral sex. I met someone years later and he didn’t consider himself all that(to him) but he was the best lover I ever had. I had never had so many orgasms in my life. It was great and true love making.
Wow I am glad I read all of these comments, I haven’t laughed like that in awhile:) It’s cool how everyone can be so open about sex. It’s a part of Life. We should be proud to have it!!!!! Sex is amazing, but only with foreplay. My boyfriend is average size and I cum every time:) oh and by the way to those who say women get loose after a baby, can go blow themselves, cuz I had a baby, and I am not!!! Women were created to have babies!!! How do you think you got here???? That suxs if a person doesn’t have kids, when you get older you are going to wish you would have. I couldn’t imagine not having my son with me, he is the joy of my life:)
I’m in my 40’s, never had kids, and I happen to have a very tight vagina, I’m told (probably all the masterbation through the years). I have had different-sized lovers. Yes, I think about what is in their pants before I get to feel or see. I’m very passionate, feely-touchy, and sensual. I embrace the entire guy. My best lovers have been average-sized or less. The ones about 6 or 7 inches relied on intercourse only–boring! My average or lower babes were creative, sensual, sex-loving freaks like me. Open the positive side of your heart and mind when with a partner. I’ve just being dumped by a boring one, but I just heard that an old friend who I can see through his pants is about average (but he exudes sensuality) got divorced two years ago. I’ve got a date with him this week! Yes!
Point of advice. My stats are 8ln x 8grth but I find my wife gets the most out of sex when I focus on her and only use half of my penis and multi-task by kissing her neck or breast during intercourse.
Your body size may give off the appearance of making you look smaller. A big penis would look smaller on a body builder than on a skinny guy.
The best lover I ever had was gifted with his tongue and fingers! Size does not matter. What matters is whether a man loves cunnilingus and after 50 years – and living through the 60’s – I’ve only met one man who really loved it and did it because he loved it and not because he thought he should do it to please me. There aren’t that many men who love raw oysters either. But God love the few men who do!
frankie, Being around electricity does not effect penile growth. Besides, your adult erect size was determined by the time you were 13 or 14 years old.
Maybe get to know the girl better before y’all attempt to have sex. Someone who cares about you, and knows you already should never laugh.
my penis is around 3-4 inches hard and i cannot keep a girlfriend everytime they see it they laugh it real sucks. im from mississauga ontario and im croatian. since im a electrician does that affect penis growth. my girlfriend i meet a year ago she thinks its cute what should i do
Davey,
I am really doubtful that even the best sized penis would get me off as well as someone who was talented with their hands. Hands/fingers can do more period, and then can do many of the mores simultaneously. A Penis is basically just in and out. I suspect a lot of women are the same way. And if she’s cumming one way or anyother I doubt she’d care much about your apparently not so macho (???) dick.
Karen the average size penis is around between is over 5 and under 6 inches and 4.5 you 5 inches in girth. 99% of the worlds men fall in that size category as proven and proven in numerous medical test survey over the years. , they are not very many men that are 7 ihces and few are 8 and 9.
When woman say a small penis what they mean is an average penis, the average size penis is too small to gratify most woman during intercourse. Size counts to most women, but sure why wouldn’t it! After all it’s a big wet hole! A very big wet hole that is capable of passing a 10pound baby! With a hole that big it’s no wonder woman connect penis size particularly girth size with intercourse performance and vaginal pleasure and gratification. The good news for men most men are average, and most men are inadequate, we are far from alone. Mother Nature should have given all men bigger dicks for such a big hole; the average is just too small to gratify most women.
Men with an average size penis are sexually disabled; they have to resort to using their mouth and hands the same as cripple have to resort to a wheelchair to get around, and what is superior way of getting around? a wheel wheelchair? or working limbs? We all know the answer to that. It’s the same with using your dick and hands. . I can pleasure woman with my hands but I can’t with my dick because it is only average and that’s too small. When a man has to resort to using their hands and mouth its makes them feel like a inferior sexually disabled cripple because they can’t do it with their dicks.
Me myself lived a very masculine life, I have fought in wars and worked on fishing boats on the most dangerous seas on earth, despite the very hardened macho life I lived, I don’t feel like a real man because of my average dick, I feel less of a man. A little skinny frail cowardly geek would be classed as a real man in the eyes of woman if he had a larger than average penis.
When guys are picking out a girl, some of the superficial/arousing bits are really easy to gauge. You can get good scope of bust size, curvature, assfulness, et cetera. And you get to then decide whether or not they’re worth pursuing despite whatever flaws. But even if you have the perfect bodied girl, she won’t necessarily be a great lover.
Girls can’t figure out how large you are til we touch you. And I don’t think it makes the Sizeist horrible for being disappointed. It doesn’t specifically say that she was a bitch about it and told her boyfriend. she said she didn’t know what the sex would be like or if her ex had set a standard that couldn’t be achieved by someone smaller.
This small penis post is only 20 comments away from overtaking the Nuvaring post as the all-time most commented-on EMandLO.com post. I’m rooting for it!
And just so this isn’t a totally useless comment: No, Dave, the wasp stinging your penis had nothing to do with anything. (But man, that must’ve hurt!)
this is really embarrassing but when i was little i got bee or wasp sting on my penis and my penis is about 4-5″ and i was just wondering if the sting would have affected the growth in my penis or if i was just maid small…..
kinda funny when you think about it lol