Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
I recently met a guy who i thought i was madly in love with, untill i got into a little rendezvous with him and i felt his penis, it really put me off him, now i know everybody is saying that its shallow to think this but, i just cannot get over the fact that he has got a little willy, the length and width is really small. they say that sex is quite important in a relationship, so the size must matter aswell! i dont know if i can meet up with this guy again as all i can think is small pecker, i have to seem a little bit interested, but i am going to let this guy fade away as theres no way he can satisfy me with that, length is about 4in and the width is about 2in!
you obviously are a shallow women who is clueless to what the word “love” means. If you love someone, the size of a body part should be irrelevant. Your judging the man by his penis size proves you are a cruel failure as a woman and human being.
Love is what matters, not penis size. Your priorities and values are obviously totally screwed-up. It is far better for a man to live his life with a small penis than a woman to live her life with no heart.
But what is “small” anyway?
12-15 cm is average, and they work just fine!!!!
In africa ,sometimes men use herbs to enlarge their penis.If you persit that you want a big thing,please get back to me so that arrangements are made for your boy friend.I can help him free of charge.But I will not be responsible for any damage that may cause to your bf.Contact me I can be of great help
I would be worried if you said he cannot erect or enjaculate and not the size of his penis please.Start thinking differently.Unless maybe your vagina is abnormally big,then you need to see the Vaginalogist for counselling and physiotherapy.If possible adjustment to a better size.Good day
True. 4-6 inches is a normal sized penis. Since most of the major pleasure nerve endings are in the first 3 inches inside the vagina, you don’t need to have a huge 8-inch penis to give a woman sexual pleasure. Siziest must have a huge vagina if she can only be satisfied by a porn star sized penis.
Young gal you ought to be mature in your thinking.Tell your mind the foolowing:
“This is the right penis for me the Lord has provided”And get serious with business immediately.Stop the sarcatic language you are using.He did not make that penis himself.It’s God who made it for him.That is what is suitable for him.As long as it is able to perform as expected.Men with big penis are few if anything.Food for thought!
Hi gal,size does not matter in a relationship.What matters is love.Do not be misled by your ex’s size.Men are made different just as everyone is made in his/her own way(tall/short/dark/coloured/white/green/red/handsome/urgly/beautiful etc)but what is important is simply love(how you handle each other)Stop dreaming please.I hope your mindset is converted to a realistic gal!
OMG! I just read these posts! I was going to go out with a black girl next week-Fuck that! Not with a 5 and a half inch dick! I did not know girls were so hung up on size! yikes!
Not all girls but there are more than people think. That’s why the dating scene is harder for men now than its ever been before.
I have an average sized penis: 5 and a half inches to almost 7 inches depending on how excited I am or nervous I’m not. This girl wants a big penis? Well that probably means she has a huge vagina. I would like to see a tattoo that says how big, pretty, pink, fragrant and good-tasting a girls vagina is. But depending on how much I like a girl, I can look past a lot of their physical features that I might not consider perfect. If I were this guy, and I knew this is how she felt, I would move on and look for a more mature and complex women.
I agree. 8 inches is huge and you usually see penises that size in porn. The only logical explanation for a woman who can’t be satisfied by a regular 4-6 inch penis is that she has a huge vagina. Yet, she wouldn’t like it if somebody objectified her vagina yet it is okay with her to objectify men’s penises. No guy deserves to be with a woman like that who is not about love, just penis size.
Richard,
You know that the heart really doesn’t control love and things related to it right? Love and everything you experience from it all happens in the brain… Every emotion is processed through the brain. I just hope you were kidding…
Based on my experience size is very important. My current gf tells me bow big I am even though we both know i’M maybe average. Problem is she has told me she has been with multiple black guys
and one guy in college who was huge. It difficult to be mr average but the chemistry and love is awesome.my problem is I can’t cum! Good for her I can f her for hrs and hit her spot. For her to cum but there isn’t enough friction to gt my average dick off. Ok, I’m probably a fraction under 7 long and a fraction over 5 in girth. I’vehit bottom plenty of times with of gf but not this one because she had a historechtomy. When I wear my favorite cock ring my girth gets to about 6 inches and honestly screams in ecstasy. Sooo. Long story short I give her the bigger when I can. Just sucks being born small because chicks do like them big and fat.
@paul…I wouldn’t be concerned if I were you. Those of us who’ve had kids would really be in trouble if things didn’t “tighten up” again! The largest penis pales in comparison to a baby’s head… Also, not to doubt your girlfriend, but all of her past lovers have been 8+ inches? That size is only found in 1.5% of the population, from what I’ve read…perhaps she’s overestimating just a bit?
i just started dating a girl who enjoys both anal and vaginal intercourse(esp anal). we have not had sex yet but she is accustomed to being with well hung men(8″-10″) for both. im only about 6″ and she knows this but tells me i shouldnt worry because i still turn her on in other ways(im sensual and sweet with a freaky side too and by my voice. she says when we have phone sex she loves that im creative and not just freaky, but sensual as well). my concern is since shes accustomed to being with hung men is it possible that even by doing exercises her vagina is already to loose to really tighten up and also does the ass tighten back up if you go a while without having anal. any comments or replies are greatly appreciated.
I think the size and girth is important during sexual intercourse.Majority of the women prefer girth because of what they felt in the outer third of the vagina. I got Lenght and Girth
i have had a FEW penises in my day. and the vast majority of them have been greatly well endowed in both length and girth. i don’t know exact measurements( who does that?) but they have been huge. and now i am engaged to a man who is much less than. in the beginning i didn’t want to have sex with him and i almost broke up with out of fear of cheating.but after awhile i got used to it and plus he is great in EVERYTHING else. plus he lasts longer than all the others. so just give him a chance and try hard to focus on other aspects of the relationship
it not only SOUNDS shallow – it IS shallow – EVER SO VERY SHALLOW!!! – put the size of his cock right out of your mind and focus on the guy inside.
Very true. It is very shallow for her to focus on looks of his penis and forgetting about the man it’s attached to.