Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
Well Shane, i wish i could say i was 8″and only be 6″ instead of saying i am 15 ” and i am 15″, I get this “Your Bullshiting” thing all the time until i drop it out, then on i get funny looks, try wearing shorts when you have a piece like that it just is not a nice look, but like i said before no Lady wants that size Penis in her.
It is so serious for me it is not funny, by the way i am not black either.Thanks
Study after study shows that the average penis length is 5-6 inches. It’s funny how many guys imagine they have 8,9, 10 or more. Either they don’t know how to use a ruler, or are just lying. They try to include their balls!
Ladies – if the guy says 8, then its 6. If he says 6, then is probobaly 4, and so on!
i beg to differ im having that problem right now just broke up with my ex of 2 years he had a really big dick i enjoyed the sex very much, now i feel like im down grading .. dont feel like i can be pleased sexually as much as i was with him! sex is so gooooooD!!!
@Joe, you are going to be a great hubby one day. Keep up the positive thoughts, it worked for me–I get married in 45 days, and I’m 27.
I’m sorry but I prefer well endowed men – anything over 8 inches. And, I like them uncircumcised and have good girth.
I suppose I’ve been spoiled because many of the men I was with in my teen were well hung (some VERY well hung black guys) and now that’s what I like, prefer and seek out.
I think girth is most enjoyable for a girl, thickness stretches the walls of my pussy and intensifies the sexual sensations. But, boy! when those big boys go deep, hard and fast into me, I’m in sexual euphoria.
Then you are a size queen. It’s luckier to find someone you deeply love than the big size of a body part.
Hi, aikenv,
8″is a nice size i was 8″ when i was 13 or there abouts, my Dad used to say how lucky i was, but as you see from my last post i am not.
My oversize ugly penis has ruined my life, can’t get a girfriend, well i can get them but when we go to have and then have sex i can see just how uncomforable it is for them
My last girlfriend was 49 i am 22, she has had a lot of sex in her life and she could accommodate me quite well, not completely but a fair bit, in the end i think it even got too much for her even.
Sometimes i feel like killing myself because of this monster as i cant see a future of me with a nice young girl.
So once again anyone thinking of wanting a bigger penis or those wanting to buy things to make it bigger i say Don’t.
My bf is really well endowed.. He’s almost an 8″. He’s my only one ever though, but he’s so sexy to me. I love his penis 🙂 Takes up the space in my mouth and self beautifully! But I’d say a cool girl wouldn’t worry about size!
A big penis is not always that great, i know, my penis is just on 15 inches long, yes 15 and it is 8 inches + around the girth and when it is erect it is hard as a rock,BUT this is not always good as young ladies are scared it will hurt them, to tell you the truth i do not have sex that often anymore because of it being so large i wish it was smaller, some older ladies like it but they are hard to find for me, so all those that want a larger penis i say be happy with what you have. Thank you
Speaking only about the physical act and leaving out the emotional for a moment, my experiences with average/below-average sized men have not been near as explosive as the men who were average/above-average in size.
However, keep in mind ladies that each man and woman are different and when certain pieces of the puzzle fit together, no matter the size of either party, explosive doesn’t even begin to describe the result.
Woman are visual creatures too and we evaluate penis size like men assess a womans weight. No one is more shallow than the other.
But you just don’t hear about men rejecting women over body parts in society now the way you hear women doing it.
I have had several relationships with very well-endowed men. My current bf isnt large and at first i was worried but he has ended up being a the best lover I have ever had. he takes him time – can go for hours and always makes my needs a priority. there are also positions that are much better with him. i can honestly say that larger size does not make it better. finding a man who cares for you and is a considerate and creative lover is so much better.
Good comments. That should be a lesson for everyone as to what makes sex wonderful and great.
I was with Mr 8″ for years. I am now with Mr 5″ and so much happier. Maybe because when I talk about a guy’s package, I am talking about his heart and mind and what he does with what he has.
Physical attributes are no match for a guy who wants you and tells and shows you how much he wants you.
Very true. It’s about that very special loving bond and that emotional and mental connection that really matters in a relationship.
“we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit”
I come to this website the first time, this sentence impressed me much, cause I seldom hear female advicer would know about it.
It is ture, an experience woman knows how to pretent orgasm, an experience man knows how to pretent under the average, cause he might just get do with others for three hours before come back home.
but talk about the size, we did have to think about it, it depends the female’s vegina, if she is a double larger than the averageg, i thought she better post ad to get an 8″, or if you are just average, then 8″ might make you unconfortable.
for my experience, I thought size is not the most important part, if you are in deep love with your partner, you might get your orgasm before the intercourse, it is ture, an experiencse lover can make his partner have 7 times orgsam even with an average penis in 15 minutes.
Seriously Ladies ?!? Any mature “woman” knows that very few women come to orgasm by penetration alone anyways. Sorry guys, but it’s true! Many, if not most women require clitoral stimulation to have an actual orgasm. So, speaking from experience and being with an “average” man myself, why don’t you try to connect on a more emotional level, teach him how to “please” you first or in another way and look past the size of a man’s penis. The old saying is true…it’s not the size of the ship, it’s the motion in the ocean !
Very true. I agree.
I would advice to put your thoughts into having a satisfying relationship. I had a bf who was over 8″ which ended now the current is five and gives me such electrifying f. I just long to be with him. Give the guy a chance, go with a set mind to have a good time and leave the tape out. You would be surprised that size doesnt matter, just give your vigy time to get the elastic back
alright enough talk that men are shallow. women are equally shallow too!