Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
Yes ladies its not the size of your vaginas its how ya use them 🙂
Turn around is fair play.
yeah i need an unually large member to fill my unusualy large VJ,go figure lol
That appears to be the match-up.
My wife when we first started dating and were in the ritual of getting to know one another and what made us who we are. Informed me that her 1st husband was “too big and she did not enjoy sex with him” (though she did not specify specific length) I felt this was way more information then I cared to hear!! As a man of shall we say “average size” (maybe 5 1/2?) I felt this to be devastating!! Honest is one thing but DAMN!! For as much as women say we (men) don’t “get them” women are as bout as clueless as they say we are! No man wants to hear how another especially the guy up to bat before “US” is superior in penile stature! It’s like telling your girlfriend “yeah your ok but my Xs ass was way harder and her tits way perkier and your Pu**y feels like a warm jar of mayo but you’ll do”. It’s just not right! You can be honest to yourself and live your life in accordance with what you want and feel you need. But you do NOT have to gut a man and leave Him to die a cold slow emotional death”! So for all the women who say size does matter! Go Buy a dildo made by good year tire company and leave the “undersized men of the world” to the women out there that do want their time, attention, devotion and affection!! You want the male stripper with the 8 inter go get him and quit trying to drag the “good men” of the world down your empty dark hole with you!! But know this!!! You WILL get old, your looks WILL fade, and life will become about more than Dick size! Then where ya gonna be? Shallow, alone, pathetic and miserable! Have fun with that!!
These women are already shallow and pathetic. They deserve to be alone and miserable.
Size does matter
I once dated a girl with F cup breasts, after which, I dated a girl with B cup breasts. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t remember fondly of the moments shared with the former, but breast size is hardly a deal breaker.
If the sole measurements of your partner is defined within those 4-8 inches, then perhaps you should look for a F###buddy rather than a boyfriend.
My boyfriend and I have sex often and he is about three inches. I orgasm mutiple times everytime we have sex. I have been with a man with an eight inch penis and all he ever did was hurt me emotionally and physically. I think that men with small penises learn to use what they have to the best of their ability and are better in bed.
I have a small penis and have struggled with it all my life and feel it has greatly impacted my life. I have constantly worried about what the woman will think and worried about if she was disappointed. The mind is the most powerful sex organ everyone has. the problem is that since so many women have the thought that size matters they get disappointed and don’t give the small guy a chance. Even if they go through with the sex act they already have given up on it feeling good because he is samall. I have talked to a lot of women about their experiences and the majority have said they either didn’t have sex because he was small or did but didn’t enjoy it. As i dug deeper and asked more questions I found out that they did have foreplay but didn’t have sex because they felt it wouldn’t be good. they almost said the foreplay was very good, but they couldn’t get in the mood to close the deal. That is sad. I have worked real hard to be a good foreplay guy and please a woman. it just sucks knowing that there are women out there that won’t give you a chance to close the deal and prove you have what it takes. also the women i have talked to said even if it felt good with a smaller guy they didn’t stay with them long. they said it just didn’t seem right. That is why i hate having a small penis. By the way. if i had the tattoo of my dick size on my wrist, i would most likely not have very many dates.
It is sad. There are too many women that cruelly judge men on the size of their penises and come to the horrible misguided false conclusions that the sex won’t be good because of it. That is wrong and these women are ignorant to facts and are totally insensitive.
It’s a pretty common statistic that only 30% of women can orgasm from intercourse only without any type of manual/mechanical stimulation to go along with intercourse.
I’m kind of on the small size 4 1/2 to 5 inches, but it doesn’t bother me. I am up to date on my oral and manual skills.
Pretty sad that woman are judged on their breast size, their age, their weight every single day and hear the guys screaming ‘it should not matter’ when it comes down to penis size. Well it does matter, sorry to say that it does. I have found now that I’ve been with a guy who had a great penis size, I feel sex with anyone else will hardly be able to really give me the same sensation and as such I can fantasize about some other guy, but then I feel disappointed since I know reality will be disappointing. Problem is I don’t think the guy with the great size and me would make a good match as longterm partners; we seem to have a very different way of thinking in general.
Love is what matters, penis size does not. It is far better for a man to live his life with a small penis than a woman to live her life with no heart.
My dick is about 6 1/2 inches when hard. When it’s not it looks sort of small. I have been with my fiancé for 2 years. I want to say that between porn and woman talking about how bigger is better I have out my self down in that area. I have had sex with woman with big asses and when I say big I mean nice round and juicy and have satisfied each and everyone if them. Even when my dick was 5 1/2 inches hard. What I’m getting to as that every girl I have been has been with guys that were 7″ and up. Yet with me they were able to feel pleasures and very satisfied. My fiancé is more than happy with our sex life and she swears that it is as if my dick gets bigger inside her vagina. We have sex atleast 4-6 times a week and every time when it’s not a quickie she gets hear. Even with my sized dick I leave her vagina hurting afterwards. This guy might do the same for you. It’s all a matter of giving it a chance. You can’t deny what you have yet to experience. Woman stop making men feel like they need to be able to fit a magnum sized condom to be good at sex. I’m the siZe I am and I am happy for having a good sized and have no doubt that I can satisfy any woman that crosses my path even though it ain’t going to happen as I do have a girl. I feel more comfortable with myself and hope other man can too
To the OP… I agree with other posters on here: you like what you like. However, you should absolutely give this guy a chance, as it seems that you two are genuinely interested in and attracted to each other. If you’re comfortable going all the way with him, then go for it and have an open mind. If you drop the expectations and anxiety about his performance, then you might be very pleasantly surprised at how enjoyable sex with him can be.
I had sex with several men with either average or above average penis sizes (6″ or more) and was decently pleased. Then I met my current boyfriend, who is a little under (5″) and he is the only man to EVER give me an organism through sex. That should tell you something 🙂
Ok, let’s shed some scientific, factual and INTELLIGENT light on the matter. First off, the AVERAGE woman is only 3-4″ deep and when she’s aroused she can accommodate just about any sized penis. A woman can generally only orgasm from 2 places…the clitoris (which 85% of women can ONLY have an orgasm from) and the “g-spot” which there isn’t any clear, scientific fact it even exists.
Ok, so you were with a guy who was 8″ and porn and today’s society has taught you that anything smaller than that is going to leave you in displeasure…WRONG!
Let’s see, there are MANY things that can be done, first off, women can do what are called kegel exercises which makes you almost as tight as a virgin again, kegel balls are what I would recommend. Secondly, sex for women is FAR different than for men, you can’t just slide in and out of a girl and expect her to get off every single time. You need to warm a girl up, do plenty of fore-play to begin with and almost ANY size will please a woman (how the hell do you think that lesbians are capable of pleasing one another with just 1-2 fingers?)
Come on now, let’s use our brains here and not act completely retarded and brainwashed by porn ROFL!!!!!
Very intelligent comments, Daniel. You presented the facts very well.
^ “Start” looking very closely at womens’ boobs? Where have you been looking!?
And no, all of that doesn’t sound absurd. Those are your preferences and you’re allowed to have them. You like skinny little women? Great, more full-figured gals for that other guy who wrote in about his GF, whose curvy body he loves. And I’ll take those small-breasted women you aren’t into.
Bodies DO vary, so it’s a good thing peoples’ preferences vary too. It’s not ALL about penis size. The comments above give a pretty accurate impression: some women really want huge cock, most are fine with average or don’t have a strong opinion, and some actually prefer smaller men.
Take it easy dude. It’s not you vs. women. They’re entitled to their preferences just like you are. It’s not meant to insult you.
If it’s all about penis size for men then men let’s start looking very closely at boob size in women.No small or flat chested women for men and since I’m a slim built guy,no overweight women for me,she must have a flat stomach,and nice hips.Does this sound absurd
ladies?How many ladies could meet those
requiements?
Women who have shallow body requirements for men should be held to just as high of standards in regards to their bodies.
I am a man with an average size penis, maybe even lacking in the girth area…but oOne way to look at it is this…many women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. If you can get your whole penis in without slamming her cervix, then your pelvis will be giving pressure to her clitoris, cause more pleasure. On a second note, if you master the art of cunninglingus, she will be so in love with you sexually that it really won’t matter how big your penis is. I am not big by any means…but I never failed to satisfy my ex-girlfriend. However…we were madly in love, and we all now that strong feelings make EVERYTHING more pleasurable.
Long story short, try not to worry about penis size so much, as there is no real way to change it (don’t try pills, they will mess you up) and natural exercise will work but won’t give you the huge results you read about…so live life and love it while doing so!