Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
I SWEAR! Sometimes i am embarrased by my own gender.Are most of you ladies bunny ranch workers or something,i mean c’mon.Grow up,like now.
The last man who I was with was roughly about 8′. At first, the sex was great but once our relationship started to crumble, he failed to please me. My mind was not into sex, I was not easily aroused and it just hurt more than feel good.
I recently met a wonderful man who I have developed strong feelings towards. We had all this sexual tension built up in the first place. When I first saw his penis, I will admit I was a bit disappointed but I like the guy, and I’m so glad I wasn’t an inconsiderate b*tch and still allowed him to make love to me. Honestly, he is by far the best lover I have ever had. No man has ever made me orgasm so much in one night. Needless to say, I couldn’t get enough of him we must of had sex at least 14 or 15 times in the 3 days he spent with me.
I honestly, feel ashamed that I even judged him for that split second. Then again, maybe it was a good thing that it crossed my mind because he proved me wrong in every way possible. It was absolutely amazing
How come it’s always “his” size that is challenged? Although I have not been with a large number of women (let’s say more than 5, less than 10), the fact is that some of them were smaller and some of them were larger. The small, tight ones did feel better, but I certainly learned how to enjoy the larger ladies!
Is the average IQ of an Em and Lo poster below 70? Sure appears that way by reading 300 plus comments.So how many of the so called “women” posters here are gay men? Id say 90%
Oh and Anne, you hit the nail on the head!
She did not. She is just as shallow, obnoxious , and cruel as you are. You are a disgrace as a woman and human being. My comments truthfully hit the nail on the head!
I feel ya.. My boyfriend has an eight and a half inch cock, and even during some rough patches in our relationship, I am terrified of breaking up with him, for fear that I will not find another man who will do it for me like he does. I’m sorry, but big dicks are amazing and I wouldn’t even waste my time with someone who has a little one 🙂
You are an extremely shallow woman and any man that would even consider being with you would be wasting his time. Love is what matters, not penis size. It is far better for a man to live his life with a small penis than for a woman to live her life with no heart.
dunno
..im considered smaller than average down below (4.25) Ive been told no good.Girls a question?
1.Why this matter?
2.What size adequate in measurement? 4,5,6,7,etc?? for normal woman.:(
thanks
Your size is totally normal and adequate to give most women sexual satisfaction. Penis size only matters to girls who are shallow, cruel and insensitive. Women who are truly about love and compassion it doesn’t matter at all.
@stop gawking at porno actor’s abnormal genitals 24/7 and then maybe,just maybe some of you gals will be able to appreciate a normal/average male member,smdh
The men women see in porn have abnormally large penises that are very much the minority. If they would stop fixating on fantasy and start focusing on reality than they would enjoy average sized penises.
Do your kegals or stfu “sizeist”–aka loser.Someone should throw up a vaginal scent topic..ohhhh yeah that’d go over well.Or how about most women can’t give a decent head job to save their lives ?!? Glass houses ladies..glass houses.
I agree. Since the rise of feminism in this country there has clearly been a double-standard. Men cannot verbally attack women’s body parts yet is okay for women to attack men’s body parts. This needs to stop.
I think this thread and anything related to this top is ridiculous. I can see why women say size matters because bigger feels better. However, if you say this guy is special and means something to you, then you shouldn’t let his lack of size get to you’re head.
It has been proven that when you do it with someone you care for, it’s naturally better. You’re wetter and mentally into it and therefore it feels better.
Give this guy a chance. He can be worth it.
^^ Really? Sheesh. Humor…find some. Quickly. Seriously, you seem a little touchy. A little too close to home maybe? Get over it, your package is fine.
It is a topic that has and will continue to echo through time. As long as their are penises in the world and thinking brains attached to them, there will be thoughts of how they measure up.
Hopefully men that are insecure about their sizes see things like this and realize that while every woman is different and some do prefer larger size, for many it just doesn’t matter.
Personally, my pleasure is more tied to the emotional bond I share with my partner than the size of his penis. And his ability to use more than just his penis to pleasure me. No matter what your size, you need to know how to use it.
I’ve had a range of sizes over my years, I enjoyed each and every one.
Ya gotta love this : “We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere”…
but you printed it anyway and brought this topic up why?? Oh yeah because the “penis size” issue is nothing but an idiots way of keeping a conversation going.Thanks for hurting men by throwing up this overdone and insensitive poor excuse for a topic! Job well done.
I agree. If they thought for a second that this letter could cause emotional damage to insecure men than its just common sense to never print it. Reckless decisions like that can cause very painful consequences for many. Em &Lo should’ve known better.
Ladies, it’s not the size of your vagina… it’s how you use your mouth.
I feel quite horrible that some men feel insecure and others feel way to confident because of one part of their body. I’ve only had sex with my BF who is about 5-6 inches. It’s usually everyday and I enjoy it so I don’t feel the need to find anyone else. There was one guy I came close with that was probably 9 inches no joke. It really freaked me out. To me width is just as important! Also my boyfriend never has had issues feeling insecure about it. :). My girlfriends have told me about how annoying it is when their bfs complain about their lack of size. It is really annoying!
when it comes to sex,I think if you realy care for someone penile size should not matter.Most of the time we let lust take over above passion and genuine love for a person. whats the use of having a large penis and he treats you like a piece of meat! I mean come on the best sex to me is when your head over heals for your man and he makes you feel like a queen and that is a great feeling.PS as both of us get older we will still have the Love and Companionship, and when it comes to sex we will know how and what to do to please each other sexualy.!!!!
The best sex in the whole world is when two people really love each other.