Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
Every single girl I’ve had sex with has loved my “larger penis.”
Every single time they see it for the first time (and then I grab their hands and make them feel it), they always (99+%) say, ”mmmm” with a big grin, when a girl says ‘mmmm” with a grin, it’s a good thing, I don’t think they are lying at all.
I’ve heard ”oh my god you are so big” so many times if I had a dime for every time I’d be rich (hmm richER!). Some will talk about how their ex-bf was smaller, most will just show how much they like it by coming back for more. There is no other way to prove that the women like it bigger than the fact that they keep coming back for more.
For the smaller guys, use it well and be happy. You can’t change anything and women will be turned off by your insecurity. Take care of your body and health, nobody wants a fat slob with a 10 inch dick (except a fat slob of a girl, perhaps).
WTF? I must say that size doesn’t matter in the least. I’m a chick and I’ve had a 4 all the way to a 11. I was honestly happier with a guy around 6 than a larger guy. Personally, I can’t orgasm during intercourse so guess what? I don’t give a crap if my guy is tiny. I’m just more interested in HIM. Yes, I want to be pleased in the bedroom but I’d rather have a good man than a man that’s well endowed. So to all those chicks that freak out over a small penis, shut up and try it out. You might be pleasantly surprised.
hahaha i like how everyones arguing! men who say women are objectifying and vis versa….
yes there are guys that onjectify for big tits and big asses and there are women who objectify for big dicks, they are all in the same boat. fo the most part BOTH men and women dont cre about the opposite sex’s sizes there are just the size kings and size queens. so quit arguing with each other about who objectifys who.
oh and btw im 17 and my dicks only a lil bigger than 5 inches long and i think a lil bigger in girth, however my gf doesnt mind and neither has any other girl ive been with. only one girl made fun of my dick saying its small, however it didnt stop her from opening up her legs to me the firrt time i hung out with her. not to mention she had a ridiculously tight pussy.
I’d say majority of men don’t like a big ass or big tits, they like petite. It’s in all how you use it.
Alright if anyone has picked up women they should know that they are emotional creatures. Women will choose to have sex with you after you chatted them up because they are emotionally attracted to you not physically even if its a one night stand. She doesn’t have to be in love.
That said if you keep that emotion in bed… even if you are 5 inches she will totally orgasm. Guys size doesn’t really matter. I’ve had girls who cheated on their husbands with me and say that their husband is 8 inches and I’m an average guy… yet they keep on coming back.
Im a man with a 7″ penis, several times i have been told im small, honestly it does bother me, it seems that anything under 8 is now considered not enough. young women have very high expectations now.
men honesly judge just as much if not more than women yes i like big tits wuts rong with that cant we just get along
i have a 6 inch and i love it i would not ask to make it bigger cuz its not to big and its not 2 small my girlfriend loves it although size does NOT matter i would still rather have a medium dick than a big one
I Guarantee Jonathan has a small penis
If I were you Sizeist I’d keep searching cos I know there is a bigger one out there for you. Mean time I’ll keep banging away with mine as I don’t measure up to your standards
I have a huge penis & i’ll just say one thing… ITS FUCKING AWESOME.
Well what a debate. I’m a tiny guy, two inches on a good day, but I can still being every woman to a good orgasm, my fingers and tongue do a great job.
MOST WOMEN are like pre-paid cell phones you can use with your d–k.Dey all ez……
My dick is about 8 1/2 inches long and 5 and some change in girth thickness. I jerk off a lot because I like seeing how big my dick is when its in my hands, I usually hold it at the base. Sometimes its about as thick as my wrist. But there are times when I feel that my dick is small. There are guys out here that have 9 and 10 inches, and I’d have some sexual anxiety fucking behind the big dick monsters. We fear the guy with the bigger dick who’d fuck who I’m fucking better than me.
I say that to say this, not all women are size mongers, and not all guys who have 8 or more inches all the way confident with themselves, especially knowing that there are bigger monsters out there roaming the quiet countryside. lol. Its all about the fit of the woman. Its agreed that no one wants a loose vagina and more that a phallus the size of a tic-tac. But if you can make it do what it do with what you got, then you are in the clear considering some men who permanantly can’t even get theirs up even with soldinafil. I am learning to be happy with my little old 8 incher, there are woman out there who think that is huge.
It sounds to me like both sides of the objectification debate are shallow and immature. If sex, big breasts, a big ass, or a big penis are the only things that matter to you in a relationship, you don’t have a relationship. Actual relationships are based on trust, communication, and love. While sex is what separates relationships from friendships, it should never be the primary focus of any relationship. This is partially the reason there are escalating divorce and cheating rates today. People are forgetting what relationships are really supposed to be about, emotional connection. Otherwise, it’s just legalized prostitution.
I agree. Love is what matters and not the size of any body part from either gender.