Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
Hello sir, i am 20 year old, but my panis is only 3-inc. Pleas help me and tell me what i do to increase my panis size.
Yikes! When average size is too small something is seriously wrong.
Very true. There is nothing wrong with Mr. Average 4-6 but there is something seriously wrong with Ms. Size Queen 8+
I havea small one too but i want a bigger one my girlfriend isnt happy with it what should i do? nevermind this
She is obviously a size queen. If your girlfriend really loved you, she would love your penis regardless of size because it is a part of you.
Dat is soo true he could use his hands and mouth;) dats wat mine does… And hes from 3″ to 4″ long… Deirs nothing wrong with deir size!!!
I really don’t think this is a typical problem. I once really liked this guy and we had intimate relations twice. He was on the very small side (maybe a little more than 2 inches). I think he had a bigger problem with his size than I did because he pushed me away. What I suggest to men of smaller size, you have hands and a mouth…use them. Also communication helps a lot!!
women are really starting to annoy me, they are more fucked up now than ever, so to all these women, i like big tits, nice round bum and nice slender legs, and vaginas with a tighter fit than a tennis players headband, so if you girls can 4 fingers up it then you dont have a vagina you have a cave that smells like a fishmongers at closing time on a hot day. to you moaning unapreciative women, take your clothes off and look in the mirror, your boobs are probably sagging and are so close to your stomach they are starting a reletionship with your naval which is probably covered in stretch marks that circle your spare tyre of a stomach which is joined to cellulite covered legs which resembles a road map, get real and stop being so shallow, have ever thought to yourself that your new small dicked boyfriend maybe 1 hot lover and he may feel that you are no good at sex, because you are only as good as your last performance.
I went from my ex, who was almost 8 inches to my current boyfriend whose dick is maybe 4 inches hard. I’m not gonna lie, I prefer the bigger dick. He was a huge asshole, but my new guy treats me like a queen. I guess I will suck it up and be stuck with a small dick because of how well he treats me. He does good oral and stuff but some poisons I can barely feel his small dick. And I’m not loose, it’s just really small. But honestly I’ve had smaller so it’s all good
4 inches is not small. Many other women have been completely sexually satisfied by that size so you must be loose. Also, love is not being stuck with someone. Love is wanting to be with someone and if you love him you love his penis too regardless of size.
I think that you all need to read this : http://officialpenisadvantage.blogspot.com/
” in coming 50 years i see AMERICA as morally devastated country ”
Umm,,,50 years? It already is morally devastated & morally bankrupt times 10.Males are 5-6 times more likely to kill themselves than women.Thats the dirty little secret no one wants to talk about you see.The epidemic of male suicide in the U.S.On the topic of suicide:White males equal 73% of all suicides in this country…some white male privilege there huh.Blah…Yeah,if it were minorities or women doing themselves in at that rate it would be fodder for ever d-mn talkshow in the country and roundtable discussion-thats the truth of the matter.Suspect online blogger types with questionable motives are no doubt becoming a seriously contributor to alot of it.
I agree. Good comments.
Funny how you give a suicide hot line number when its worthless feminist bloggers like you f–king c!nts who push a guy to off himself in the first place even throwing an idiotic thread like this up in the first place.Karma and negative vibes hopefully this site gets a double portion.
It’s true. The hateful comments by these feminist bloggers can drive a sensitive, insecure man to suicide. This thread is harmful and that sizeist letter should never have been printed.
And these problems are mostly observed in western countries , where sex frenzy has crossed every limits. With such mental preoccupations about qualities of sexual partner , there is more divorce and failed marriage lives . in coming 50 years i see AMERICA as morally devastated country , where every second young men and women are engaged useless discussion.Sex is fun , we have all liberty to enjoy this , but isolating such persons who don’t “HAVE EXCEPTIONAL SEX ORGANS” will trigger more suicide cases, according to modern survey ,isolated persons for any reason are more prone to crime , like shooting in schools ,getting enlist to terrorist organisations to take revenge of their ostracism . I know there will be lot of jokes posted on my remarks , but ladies and gentlemen we have to get out of such ennui. Enjoy sex whatever kind of your kind of sex partner you have. My girl friend is flat chest and i have never desire handful of boobs ,so is my girl friend is happy with my average size penis. Dear fellows its all love, and in love such things are ridiculous.
Good comments. You gave great examples of how our obsessive over-sexed society has had such a negative effect on so many people.
Its all porn videos after effects, in old times both genders lived contented sexual life , they didn’t crave for big boobs, ass and monster cocks.Since the porn industry revolution there had been radical change in sexual desires and that unending war begun over big and small, where it is all about relationship and true love.
It’s been a combination of porn, feminism, and the sexual revolution that has destroyed too many women’s morals, values, and priorities.
Dear Boe Boe,
We genuinely hope you’re not serious, but if you are, please know that there are alternatives. You can — and many people choose to — live a productive, satisfying life without sex. Please see our related post:
https://www.emandlo.com/2009/04/dear-em-lo-can-i-lead-a-full-life-without-sex/
And also check out Save:
http://www.save.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewPage&page_id=7025EAA4-D9D5-34CC-452DC6B57AF18483
And if you’d like or need someone to talk to about these things, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
It’s 24/7, free and confidential.
All our best,
Em & Lo
ok men do like big boobs and big ass,”BUT” that dose not prevint sex, a small dick dose! a man will not tern a girl down cuz she got little titts or no ass. i dont even like big boobs i like girls feet, and i have a little dick its so small it gose inside me when im not erect! but i got big balls like the size of an apple so all and all its no dick just balls. all the girls iv been with left me after sex, thay never told me i have a small dick but i herd shit from there friends. so i gave up along time ago im going to die alone, but i came to terms with it so i dont care. god dont want me to have kids cuz im also unfertal 🙁 its like a cicada that lives 17 years under ground just to splatter on a car windsheld the day you emerge from the ground. im 49 and iv done nuthing with my lime so i think im going to kill myself on my 50th berthday
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, there are many cruel women out there who have no compassion nor any love in their hearts. This is why there are so many men who are so afraid to date and get close to a woman.
the dude talking about relationships being important and not giving a damn about physical pleasure… im gonna come burn your church and sell your kids