Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
i am nine inches my ex went out wih someone smaller and felt let down
Im a black guy with a smaller thin 3inch hard cock, funny though i like white chicks who almost got more that i can manage..ya know the super voluptuous thick types,
At top it off im 6ft tall and well build.Get hit on All the time, but soo shy/afraid to let them see the tool.
My husand is average. 5 1/2 to 6 1/2 depending on how turned on he is. My ex was easily 9 inches. I love my husband now sexually compared to my ex. With my ex, given the time of month and other factors, sex was often painful, there wasn’t a whole lot we could do that really felt pleasurable to me. I’m a rough kinda girl, so what a let down. Not only can my current “really give it to me” he DOES have the most amazing hands ever. 90% of the time, I am completely satisfied before intercourse even comes into play! Also, as cliche’ as it is, sex is better if you either love someone or hate someone. Emotion makes all the difference, so I say give the guy a chance. The vagina has a way of becoming tighter or more relaxed depending on the need. It’s made for flexibility.
Mike – no idea on the average size of a 13 year olds penis, but unless you’re very ahead of your age range you’ve got plenty of growing left to do and I’d imagine that would grow with the rest of you so don’t obsess about it :0) And at the end of the day, especially once you leave the teen years behind, it’s the things you can affect, your personality, your interests, how you treat the people you date etc that will make the difference long term, focus on becoming a good and interesting person rather than worrying about a body part :0)
Don’t worry, things can be done…not permanently, but one may use a penis pump and perhaps a cockring.
At 6,5 inches, and a circumference of 5 inches I’m somewhat small. Since my girlfriend is used to bigger, I’m now accustomed to use a penis pump and sometimes a ring. This doesn’t increase size permanently, but by pumping in advance of sex, I’m able to grow to a decent size (according to my gf) of 8 to 8,5 inches in length and a tad bigger than 6 inches around.
Well Ben im not a chick but my dick is 4in. soft and 5-1/2in. hard, and from what ive seen in the showers thats about average.
Wow she most have some elephant like hole.ok am small yet my girl after sex most atimes,do look straight at me saying,”YOU FUCKED THE HELL OUT OF ME”
Im 21 years old and 140 pounds and my penis is 1 and a 1/2 inches soft and 3 inches hard. Is that small? Tell me ladies
I think married women who arent getting satisfied fully should make their husbands watch them with a dildo and not let them have ANY sex at all. I get way more turned on teasing my small husband by not letting him have any than from letting him put it in, plus the dildo feels really good!
You are a very sick an twisted woman. Love is what matters, not penis size. And sexual satisfaction is not important at all when compared to a special mental and emotional bond.
My sister has a small cocked husband and I wish she would just sleep with other guys as she doesnt get satisfied fully, and I know there are guys out there that could do her good!
You are a very sick and twisted person for even suggesting such a thing. Love is what matters, not penis size. An emotional and mental connection is far more important in a loving relationship than sexual satisfaction.
There was one survey that had 88% of women who slept with someone besides their husband was because of size and not getting satisfied. Honestly if you even think of doing this with someone else, then you are clearly not being satisfied fully!
Love is what matters, not penis size. And having a special emotional and mental bond with someone is far more important than sexual satisfaction. Women need to get their priorities and values in order because right now they are all screwed-up.
How women can carry on with wild abandon making some of these derogatory comments pains me.Some women act as though guys have no feelings…this thread is hall of shame worthy–truly pathetic.
I agree. that’s why i have called out and responded to each of these horrible women’s comments by justifiably telling them off.
My god.. Girl. You watched to much porn, huh? Not every man has a 8 inch penis- most have 4-7 inches. You have psychological problems if you think that only a 8 inch penis will make you happy.
Very true. This woman is completely out-of-touch with reality and has major psychological issues.
^ ai, djlove… I was with you right up until “you have to remain faithful to her/she will slowly cut you off from sex.”
My girl can cuckold me all she wants, but I’ll be damned if she’s the only one getting some on the side. And if you’re not getting laid at all, that’s “celibate,” not “faithful.”
I say this because i’ve been a cuckold for almost 8 months now after my girlfriend finally admitted that she misses having real orgasms and doesnt feel much with me. We decided cuckolding would be fun and she also keeps me teased/denied sex usually, right now it’s been over 3 weeks!