Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
To be completely honest i don’t want a guy with a huge dick, im young and tight so i really would be put off by an 8 inch one ~ 4 – 6 is fine 😉 lol
Wait, really? 8 is freakishly long? I’m not being sarcastic here. I mean I know avg is like 6 or so, but I guess I wasn’t sure exactly how the bell curve fell. I am now wondering about my apparently years-long string of good luck. I guess the fact that I’m attracted to tall men helps, and I do seem to be able to suss out what my sister used to call “the supreme self-confidence of the well-hung.” That nerdy guy who plays D&D and isn’t great w small talk but just exudes sexual confidence. Yeah. I know one of those who must be a freak amongst freaks, because he’s in the porno size class.
8 inches is HUGE. Idc what some say..5-6 is great for many I know…im 6 inches and almost 3 inches around…im thick I feel thats my quality…but being like this can REALLY hurt a guy if you ever say my ex was bigger…SIZE MEANS EVERYTHING to GUYS.
Well, I can tell you from my experience with a small man, I didn’t like it.
The first one I was with, I couldn’t even jack him off well enough because he was so small 1-2 inches.
I didn’t feel turned on at all.
He wanted to have sex, and I just felt like I couldn’t do it.
If I’m looking for good experience, I’d like someone with more girth AND length.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with women wanting bigger men. It’s preference. It’s as much preference as men choosing not to date: fat women, brown hair, brown eyes, small boobs.
It’s just preference.
I certainly don’t think women should be inclined to give up their sexual preferences just to help men feel better about themselves.
I would feel like I’ve been lied to.
In this case, I would give him a change. 4-6 inches doesn’t sound bad, but by ALL means, 8 inches isn’t freakish.
That sort of attitude puts down women for wanting big men, like it’s abnormal.
Go with what you has you feeling comfortable.
I feel that a small penis couldn’t satisfy me: been there done that.
Love is what matters, not penis size. It’s far better for a man to live his life with a small penis than for a woman to live her life with no heart.
by juss reading what sum of u women/men wrote. i aint dat big or dat small. sum women said im too big, sum have said im perfect none of em have said i wasnt good or too small i know how to satisfy any girl 😉 by being real with em. i also know how to talk to women & make em realize deres more to me & our relationship den sex & size & methods of our sexual ways 😛 i am uglier den fu7k to traditional standards. but i know how to approach & talk to women. gettin to know them . like i read in sum of the posts above. relationships arent about the male size & the womens breast size its about connection, wanting a life, responsibilities. everyone has once in their life wanted that. even if u femalez had a bf/husband dat was bigger den the mate u have now. think about if ud rather have a nice decent male who’d do anything to satisfy ur needs even if he cant in bed. jus find other wayz to satisfy that.(im not sayin havin a fuckbuddy who has ah bigger dick den ur mates) teach him ur weaknesses & spots dat’ll satisfy u enuff to be with him.
i know im broken english but my point is jus cuzz u need that big one. ask a man his size b4 or stick withthesame sized guy! no need to hurt a mans feelings & underestimate him. a male has tried to make his johnson bigger once in his life but if ah female doesnt like the real u den find sum1 who does! thankz 4 readn 😛
No, it doesn’t make you a bad person. Just petty.
Yes, size is important, but its what fits aka works for each woman (and man). Average works for me. If he is the size of my regular tampon. We have a problem. Oral does nothing for me and I O during penile intercourse regularly. I know what works for me, I also know which size and thickness will work, too. Just b/c a man is average or smaller, you just need to be choosier about the woman.
For all the men with smaller penises. Its not about how long or wide it is, its what they do with it that counts. So as long as you find out what the girl finds pleasurable just use that to your advantage and belive me she wont forget you. 😉
Firstly, for all the men out there with small penises looking at this post and thinking ‘Damn, this is how women really think? I’m screwed’. No, it is not typical.
When you hear a woman say that her boyfriend called her ‘too fat’, you say to yourself ‘What an asshole her man is’.
The woman asking this question is the equivalent of that; a jerk.
She is one of those people that thinks she deserves the perfect partner for no reason at all, and the best part is, she’s such an arrogant person that even if she does get him, (which is unlikely), if he has any self respect he’ll realise what a shallow little girl she is and drop her for a woman with a sense of decency and respect for her partner.
To pursue a person with penis size being the most important quality, is like a man pursuing a woman with big boobs being the most important quality; it will never work. It’s shallow, low, unfair, completely void of respect and it’s actually quite sad.
Fellas, a lot of women have this mentality nowadays that they are the only important person in the relationship. That they can behave as selfishly and small mindedly as they like because ‘it’s the twenty-first century’. They will end up alone and desperately unhappy or completely whipped trying to keep their well hung man.
There’s far more to a relationship besides size, and if any woman ever drops you because of it, all it means is she had no respect for the relationship in the first place. This isn’t your fault because you are small or not good enough, it’s hers because she has ridiculous views on what a relationship is.
The size queens will say ‘but sex is such an important aspect of a relationship’. Let me make this clear for EVERYONE, if he/she dumps you over a sex issue, this means sex was more important than anything else in the partnership, that is logic. This kind of person will only ever be after the sex. They are a sex addict. They think constantly about sex. If this person is a woman, she will measure men up in her head. She dumps men over size. This kind of woman isn’t normal, she has a problem.
She pursues a dick, not a person.
If your wife isn’t satisfied with your size lads, what do you do? You drop the shallow bitch like she never existed. If your husband calls you fat, ladies, what do you do? You leave that sucker for a respectful decent man.
I’m not exactly Mr BigDick myself. I’m the average Joe, but I have a sufficient amount of self respect that I don’t date shallow, abusive women.
There is an ugly side to having a average penis, of course. It is a more difficult love life than if I were hung like a horse, because there are going to be some women who reject you because of it. That doesn’t matter. When you die you don’t count the money you have or the big dicks you’ve enjoyed, you count the friends you’ve made, the life you’ve led and the love you’ve given, I know this because I’ve been close enough to experience it.
So, how do these kind of women measure up on the respectable life scale? Bottom tier I’m afraid. Too shallow to love, too cold to care, and too messed up to wake up and see the truth; they are wrong about size.
I’ve rarely slept with a woman who didn’t orgasm. And if she didn’t, in all honesty, tough shit. It isn’t at the top of my list of priorities in life to spend my time wondering if my woman is satisfied enough. It was either because I was too tired, too drunk, or I wasn’t feeling it.
You see, women aren’t the only ones with opinions. Sometimes a woman just doesn’t do it for me. The thing is, that doesn’t mean that the same woman never will.
Boys, Men, Whoever is reading this; we are stronger. We don’t need to put her down in order to feel better about ourselves. So we forget what’s not perfect and concentrate on what is.
That’s what being a man is about.
It’s being decent, kind, fair, truthful, and strong enough to reject these kind of women, for reasons that actually matter; personality.
To whoever suggested cuckolding; man, get some self respect. A penis isn’t so important that you need to humiliate yourself, and neither is a woman.
To the woman who said she liked to screw other guys and ridicule her partner; you are going to hell, if you aren’t already in it. I’m guessing you’ve had control issues and personality problems from a young age. Take some responsibility and see a counsellor so you can stop inflicting your damage on others.
And for all the girls who speak like ‘don’t worry, things can be done about having a small penis’. It isn’t a disease that needs curing (and for any women thinking ‘yes it is’, see above. You are insignificant in much more important areas than body parts).
It’s been said a million times to women the world over, now I’m saying it to everyone; A normal, sane, loving person will not ever care about your hair, your make up, your breast size, your wallet, your car, your dog, or in fact your penis.
They will care about your mind.
So keep it safe. Stop destroying your self worth by reading posts from shallow people with nothing better to do than go on the internet and hurt others, when there’s a whole world full of decent ones out there.
Laters.
Jason, that may have been the best comments I’ve ever read that puts this topic and issue in its proper perspective. Thank you so much for writing it.
I too have a small one but i use PenisCourse(.com) for 1 month already and have added an extra inch, currently at 6″. The course is 100% natural & medically approved; you can also choose a Coach as well. I picked Dr. Milton. My erections & girth had increased as well. Ill keep you posted with the progress. Im a lot more confident now with a larger penis
I have a willy and i get it out and all women wanna lick it coz it soooo soft. All you men beware, stay bare remove that hair. Same for the chicks-gotta have that shaven haven baby!
please reply
i have a 6 inch cock but i feel that it isnt thick enough but i know how to use it and my mouth and hands are magical i think it makes up for it but i am still envious of larger men
i have a 6 inch cock but it isnt thick enough and i have always had a complex but i know how to use it as well as my mouth and hands and i love to kiss
my dick is 10″ is that too big