Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
nobody is talking about how you can be a guy with a non gerthy 4 1/2 inches (like me) and have a girlfriend that loves you and will “accept” you and love you for the way you are…
but you still wanna blow your f*&#ing brains out because she was honest and told you she prefers bigger guys. what do you do? break up with someone that loves you? because you know you can only satisfy her with your mouth, and basically that makes you a male lesbian.
fml.
The fact is a 4.5 inch penis is fully capable of satisfying a woman. For those women that claim it can’t are women who have severe attitude and psychological problems or has physical vaginal problems. Otherwise, they have no legitimate excuse why they can’t be satisfied. Besides, women should love a man for who he is inside. Period. Women who don’t are despicable individuals that make obnoxious superficial demands.
I have a 4in penis and im 18, im not proud of it but i dont hate it. It is what it is learn to love your little monster.
A man has never been able to choose the size of his penis. It’s what he was born with and cannot be changed. If women were all about love, penis size would never matter. But unfortunately, they aren’t. That’s the problem.
Based on what I’ve seen and heard, including here, dick preference seems to go by thirds: about 1/3 of women prefer big guys; about 1/3 subscribe to, “it’s not the size that counts, it’s how you use what yo’ve got”. And about 1/3 are built for smaller guys.
I’ve actually noticed the same thing about mens’ preferences regarding womens’ weight. About 1/3 only like thin women. About 1/3 aren’t hung up about it either way; and about 1/3 prefer a woman with more to love.
I don’t see why people get so pissed about it. I see it as a real “something for everyone” situation, and i find that reassuring.
There are a lot of mis leading statements above.
Fact: the average penis size (mean) is 5.5 inches in length, 4.75 inches circumference
The average vagina 5.75 inch length.
So basically average is perfect match. Some women prefer larger penis sizes but the ones who prefer or only mention length are mis understanding their own bodies. About 95% of the nerves stimulated during intercourse are within the first 3 inches.
So basically for the vast majority of women and men 3 in length is good as long as they both are willing to work the positions.
I am average at about 6 and 4.6circ, I take a woman saying that that is small as a challenge. I make it my goal to find her climax limits and pass them. I may not have a large penis but I make up in stamina and generosity.
All in all if both partners are accepting of the other and generous with the entire experience (ie fore play, oral, and everything in between) then size doesn’t matter. If you care for the other person then put that passion in to love making and you will find what works, if you’re just in it for sex then
It doesn’t matter any way, go all out with no inhibitions, it’s not like you are planning on sticking around any way.
Do what makes you happy, but to judge a person based solely on the size of their parts is ignorant.
Very true. For these women to judge a man by the size of his penis is not only incredible cruel and mean but also incredibly ignorant and stupid.
This one has some of the most misandrist comment threads ive ever seen online.This is really low and pathetic especially for a site who claims to be ‘sex positive’.Time to archive this one and lock it down already.SMH
That’s true. There are so many disgusting and degrading misandrist comments throughout this thread. I have made it a point to respond and tell off these horrible women and truthfully tell them how low and despicable they are every chance I get.
Well this confirms most if my suspicions about women in general. Only unattractive, fat, lonely women say “size doesn’t matter” or “they can make up for it”. Those seem poor rationalizations at best. Additionally, all the self proclaimed women here say they have had smaller ones give them great sex, but none of those downgrades have been a significant jump. No one has gone from an 8in man to a someone like me, 4in long and two fingers in diameter. That big a jump will assuredly suck every paticle of sexual arousal from all parties. Seems my chances are nil.
Attractive women, desirable women, have made up their minds. Size matters. In fact, size is fundamentally paramount to the future of any relationship with a decently attractive female. So being 4in long and two fingers thick makes my chances of a relationship with any woman deemed marginally attractive mathematically insignificant. And since there exists no method of enlargement that produces consistent, guaranteed results it would seem my future in romance has been well decided.
And people have the audacity to believe in a “God”. Fuck my life when will it just end?
4 inches is not small and is fully capable of sexually satisfying a woman. You are not the problem. These cruel, heartless, insensitive, size queen women are. They are not about love. They are just selfish women that judge men by a body part. If these horrible women with such screwed-up priorities and values did bot exist, men would have nothing to be insecure about. Love is what matters, not penis size. And it is far better for a man to live his life with a small penis than a woman to live her life with no heart.
Oh and another thing the averager vagina is only 3-4 inches long so more dick than that is a waste.
very true. 3 to 4 inches is all a woman really needs to be satisfied unless there is a problem with her vagina.
How the fuck would you know!? You say you’re 53 and a virgin and never dated a woman…..so how can you speak for all women on what they need to be satisfied? And why is it that if she needs more then there is something wrong with her vagina?
I find all your comments to be pathetic. Every post you make drips of insecurity and is filled with anger against women.
You need to seek professional help and not waste your time making these silly posts on a subject you can’t actually know anything about (having never had any sort of relationship in your life).
Having a micropenis is no joke its a birthdefect. But its laughed at like a joke. 6 out of 1000 males are born this way. Its very sad. Men born with not much of dick are basically enuchs. And having a normal sex life forget. Shunned laughed at ridiculed. Rather be a dwarf with a big dick. Oh Dwarfs are a joke also.
Despite it being classified as a medical condition ,there are still many men with micropenises who are happily married, in relationships, and having happy, healthy sex lives.
I only have four inches. This is a real small penis, but there are girls out there who will ‘accept’ it. It really is whast a man can do with his equiptment that matters most, but, God gave most men around 6 for a reason.
4 inches is not a really small penis. The only type of penis that can accurately be described as really small would be a micropenis which is 2.75 inches and under.
Hand some men
with tactile skill
know how to explore
where sensations start
and
finger those places
to
extend the thrill
^You tease guys about their small dicks!?Either you’re horribly cruel or you date guys with GREAT senses of humor.
They say 6″ is the average, but most guys are over 6″. Anything under 6″ is pretty small. Most guys know that and are usually accepting of it, most you can even tease about it. Just talk to him, if he doesnt have a sense of humor or of himself, look for something bigger.
You don’t know what you’re talking about.4-6 inches is in the average range and is not small. You are showing your complete ignorance and stupidity by making comments about penis size that are 100% wrong.
this women should have how shallow she is printed in her wrist
Very true. Shallow is the definitive word to accurately describe sizeist.
I measure almost 9 in I wish I was only 4 or 5 inchesches women do not like big cocks I don’t use it all anyways so if you’re taken it then you definitely need to get it tightened up there might be something wrong with you
it dosent matter about the size its whats in the heart if the love is there then thats all that should matter im 46 and my wife is 45 we married at the age of 16 and 15 and beleve me are love life is no drage and id be safe to say that im around 4-5 so if you need more then that i think you need to tighten it up becouse its to loose or just plaine wore out
I agree. The minimum length that a woman would really need to be satisfied would be 4-5. If she requires any more than her vagina is the problem.
Your post makes no sense…you said the “minimum” length a woman would need to be satisfied is 4-5 inches. Well that means there is a maximum length that she might need as well. 4-5 might be the starting point…but because a woman might like more does mean she has a problem with her vagina.
It’s up to a man to be able to please a woman and if you can’t then don’t blame the women and say there is something wrong with her. Just accept you’re a terrible lover….oh that’s right….you’re a virgin so you have no basis to form your opinions from.
Sorry…correction: but because a woman might like more DOESN’T mean she has a problem with her vagina.