Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
The worldwide average is like 5.0-6.9…so perhaps she is the one with the anatomy problem.If yoy want more than that buy a dildo thats why they make them fool.
I agree. The problem is her anatomy, not his.
your going to have to have to make a decision.. either settle with the fact that your man isnt as big as others are or move on. i am only 4.5 which isnt that big.. but it shouldnt be alot about penis size, infact that should be such a small part of it.. see how sex is with this guy, and if its not great i suggest you try giving some tips on how it could be better. by the way the dude may just be a bit put off or possibily intimidated by the size of your previous mate.. if you let him know you dont care about it at all the chances are he will grow to his full peak erection.. u gotta make him feel comfortable to really get him to give u all hes got
The age old question that won’t die.
Why do women continue to lie about this I will never know. Then again, I don’t know why certain women do a lot of things. Facts are facts. Size matters. Otherwise the question would not be continually asked.
That doesn’t mean you need a fire hose. It doesn’t mean there aren’t other things you should do but if you are small you are already behind. The other “skills” can be learned over time with a willing partner. Size can’t. You will always be behind the other guy. You will never be “that” guy. You will never be the fantasy just the guy she’s stuck with for the time being. Nice, kind and communicative only go so far. For most men that will be the best you will ever achieve. Learn to live with it because it will be a long life.
It’s partly the reason why I don’t bother with women. Why look for someone who doesn’t exist? It’s a waste of time and energy and you will only feel worse about yourself afterwords anyway.
To the OP, leave the relationship now. Spare yourself the disappointment. He already knows. Trust me. He knows.
Don’t be a greedy whore. Problem solved.
I agree.
It only takes 3/4 of an inch to penetrate the average woman. I have twice that!
I’m a little above average about 6 and half kinda thick..I’m told…but it not average to my woman I can make her orgasm by touch by tounges..but I’m disappointed I have not made her orgasm by penis..I know where to put it too..but to no avail ..shes tends to not even want chubs unless its the 3or4days before her period…leaving feeling dejected and shame..I guess I am just like the previous poster said …being a male lesbian..I actually thought of buying a fulfil and strap for her LOL…I’m totally fucked
As a relationship expert, I agree totally with the reply – you are limiting yourself if you think big is all that matters… I know a lot of women have said that how a man uses it is what really matters… Good points above and remember that it’s the whole experience you should be basing your decision on not just his dong size! The girl above has not even bedded the guy yet? Do that first a few times and then decide!
Well some people went to the extreme with this topic. Me on the other hand would say I am an attractive girl that says size doesnt matter. Im currently with a man with a small penis and iv never been that impressed! That man can do things that hello wares me out haha before him I was with someone who was way bigger but a selfish lover…. Not exciting at all plus it hurt. My current man can hit spots and rub me all over in areas I didnt even know would excite me. Yeah I questioned it before but now I know id much rather prefer smaller. So in the end size does matter! Six and up can be very painful! Five and smaller is all kinds of fun
ive struggled with such insecurity in the past but i developed a way to overcome it…i got a decent job… support yourself… fill your life with good habit and hygiene and hobby. Be smart and have self worth and confidence…WOMEN WILL WANT TO BE WITH YOU!!!
then just be a freak, i mean be a f@#$ing crazy animal in bed who cares what ya got just use it like its the last time you’ll ever be able to. give her something to consider…there are many different ways to be stimulated and many different people with many fetishes. just please dont kill yourself…invent a cure for cancer…sheesh.
I want to die!!! My small 4″x1″ penis has affected my entire life. I have to look at it every day. Girls turn away after checking out my package. I have no self confidence. Why even try to find love just to be laughed at. It cuts deep… Why go on living? I’ll never ever satisfy a woman.
My heart goes out you. The emotional pain that women inflict on men in regards to penis size is inhumane and despicable. They are not loving human beings but just monsters for causing such misery to men. Love is what matters, not penis size. And it is far better to live your life as a man with a small penis than as a woman with no heart.
Alright….what a joke this is! Let me tell you the truth….any woman who thinks that size is the important part hasn’t spent any time experiencing the best part of sex….foreplay, probably because she’s lazy! I am in my late 40’s, have literally been with hundreds of women. I have had many women tell me I was the best lover EVER, and my cock is definately no more than 5 inches hard. likes…it’s all about finding out what she likes, exploring her senses and realizing it’s not just about filling filling her up…how shallow.
Alot of my friends have relationship problems because they have small penises as in small I mean like 1.2 inch I laugh at them because I have never had that problem as my penis 3 girth an my length is 8inchies
You may have a larger penis then them but they are clearly better human beings than you and are more of a man inside than you are which matters much more.
I definitely prefer women with bigger breasts, so about schlong size, girls probably prefer bigger too. Ladies, get implants if you feel insecure about it. Guys, not sure what you can do. Bummer. Bring on the silicon!
This is an issue of huge insecurity for small guys like myself since we have to live a life of constant compensation. The pain of fearing every sexual encounter is awful. At the end of the day, anatomy means that size does matter. Of course it’s not all that matters, but it truly does matter.
I try everyday to accept myself the way I am and it’s an ongoing battle. My options are accept myself and face the inevitable rejections until a girl will settle for it, or live alone as monk or some one who avoids sex. It’s so shitty to be given a desire to please women, and to also be made pretty inadequate for it. God damn you universe!!!!! I hope reincarnation is real and that I can chose my next life and body.
It is horrible the insecurities women have caused men because of their shallow, obnoxious sexual attitudes. Love is what matters, not penis size. And it is far better for a man to live his life with a small penis than for a woman to live her life with no heart.
Man! This topic will last forever and ever! In this society everything MUST be big! Everyone is influenced by what they see in porn, what they “hear” from girlfriends other from other dudes, but God forbid a little bit to read about human anatomy, about vaginas and about penises! Guys with big dicks think they are good in bed, but these guys usually have no idea what sex is really about, men with smaller dicks, have so low self-esteem that don’t even try to be good in bed, and as a result, most them are not good because they are inhibited.
So what I am saying is this, when a girl is so stupid that she laughs at you just because you don’t have Anacoda as a penis, she is too stupid to fuck, practically she has no idea where her G-point is. When they prefer bigger penises, they are also with low self-esteem, and need a big one to show off to their “girlfriends”.
Guys, the biggest sex organ is the brain, use it when you want to pleasure a woman.