Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
My ex broke up with me because my 5.5″ couldn’t satisfy her. I know this because she cheated on me twice with a dude who was NO BETTER than me in any way but in the sack, he had a 10″ dong. I’ve had women since then, but none of them compare to what I felt with her.. why’d she have to betray me like that. Just for a dick. His 10″ in no way compensates for my 5 11″ awesomeness.
Might i just add, that women aren’t “shallow” for choosing a man with a bigger dick over a smaller one, men are on the same level for choosing a woman with bigger boobs over one who has smaller boobs! And as far as mocking someone over their penis size goes, pretty sure most girls who have smaller breasts get mocked by guys too! i know i have!
You are wrong. Women are 100% shallow for judging a man and choosing him on penis size. It is the cruelest way to pick a partner.
By the way, I’ve make my girlfriend orgasm with my 4 1/2 inch penis almost every time we have sex (not just oral or touching)… =]
She even gets one before I do. I hate to brag, but if this helps bring out confidence in other guys, then I shall brag.
I have one that is 4 1/2 inches. I’ve had 4 sexual partners before. Two of the have had way bigger guys before me. Both claim to have never achieved orgasm most of the time with any of them until I came along. Out of the 4 there was only one girl that couldn’t orgasm, but she could rarely get one with other people anyway.
My current girlfriend (hopefully last =D) has had a well-endowed ex, but prefers my size because there is less pain and more pleasure. I can make her orgasm before I do every time we have sex! We have the best sex when we’re on vacation or alone. Perhaps our chemistry is about perfect….
Knowing that I can make a girl (or at least my girl) climax 90% of the time is HUGE ego boost for me and my little dude.
So, I’m convinced that even a small to average guy can is able to pleasure any girl…Just be be confident, truly love your woman, and find your groove.
Sorry wow but I’ve only just seen this post and feel the urge to reply.
As someone who has been through something similar, I understand what Sizeist is saying.
I had a f buddy who was huge and could pleasure me in other ways as well like nobody else had. I was afraid I was never going to get that level of pleasure again with a bar that had been set too high.
However, although this arrangement suited us both fine, somewhere deep down I wasn’t happy to have things stay on a plateau. Although not with him, I wanted to find a relationship where it would go somewhere and we could grow as people and have other parts of me entertained, including just feeling loved and not like a blow up doll.
Then I met the love of my life. Although he is smaller, it was actually his inexperience that was a bit of an issue at first but I didn’t care because I knew he cared for me and lovingly, I taught him how to pleasure me and guided him to watch a few things. Also, I knew we are in it for the long term. There’s no rush.
After we got over that, let me tell you that no feeling is better than lovemaking because it’s about being lost in the moment, not worrying about size.
Best of all, he respects me and adores me. We have great sex but that’s just one part of our relationship.
The question you need to ask yourself is what you want and proceed from there. Are you looking for a relationship or flings? Don’t be too quick to judge but I think it’s a bit late now.
I really do understand how you feel but your thoughts are enough damage and just let the guy go.
If you’re going to judge a book by it’s cover, then don’t try to make a relationship out of it because it will never work.
Guys already have enough hang ups about their member size but it’s our job to not laugh, maim and judge them about it just like if you were flat chested or too busty or your vagina was a different shape, you wouldn’t like men to mock you for it.
With a little love and patience, my man learnt to pleasure me just how I like it, with that his confidence grew and he has the unique (well unique because I’ve never come across it before) that after he orgasms, he’s soon up & ready for another round. It actually hypes him up rather than send him to sleep.
So go ahead, judge him by his size and good luck in finding another one just as big. Spare him from your thoughts and he can find someone more worthy.
I dislike the impression you and some other female posters are giving out. Not all women base their partner choice on penis size.
Great comments Kat. I totally agree.
…this thread is troll city,and its getting old.Just stop it already people.
Well I am only a 4 incher but have been sleeping with a woman whose ex-husband is large but not satisfying. She cannot get enough of me and we have had sex at least twice a day for over 4 years now. I have never had a complaint from a sex partner about size, in fact I get only compliments. Its what you do with it baby, and if the woman thinks its important that you have a large one then piss her off cause she is not worth it.
Hey
Just to say something. Size doesn’t matter, period. Every human is different in their own unique and beautiful way. Maybe one man has a big one, so that’s the thing about him. The other man may be touching you in all the right places. Third one may be the best kisser. I’ve had different ‘size’ experiences, and even today its not size that turns me on.
Sex is different with every person, so its about the entire package, not just one body part.
For guys who feel bad about their size, don’t be. There is a woman who will love and respect you the way you are. And she may be smart, intelligent and sexy. You better believe it.
This girl has issues. I am a good looking, professional 42y old single mother of a 19y old boy and 16y daughter. I’ve had many lovers and today I tell you this – I’d rather have a sensitive 4 than a 8who doesnt give a shit or is totaly obsessed with his hugeness. Size is a mindset. Writer of this degrading post – you are emotionaly immature. May God help the man who marries you and may He help you ’cause unless you are perfect (there aint such thing as perfect btw) you should rather keep out of relationships. May my son never encounter a cold hearted bitch such as you and may my daughter grow up to be a soft lady who judge men not on the size of their penis, but for who they are.
Great comments, Annie. You are a terrific woman and mother.
I really have no wide range of experience to pull from because I’ve only been with one man. But I can tell you, my husband is probably about 5.5″ and that is about a half inch too long. He has to be careful in some positions because its a bit too long and it really hurts to be poked like that. I can’t imagine ending up with someone who had 6″ and turning sex into a round of “that bloody hurts, stop moving”. It would make things rather tense and unenjoyable.
Not all women have the same dimensions obviously.
Size does make a difference to a man. I used to be 4inches in length and 3 inches in girth. This were the bad times, I couldnt even look a beautiful women in the eye cause i knew i couldnt satisfy her, cause my stamina was ridiculous…call me the 5 minutes guy.
I decided i had enough, it was time to grow my package. did some research on the internet on how to grow a penis….I am now 5.5.inches in length and 5.3 inches in grith. am trying to get my package to 6 inches in length. I dont really know if it matters cause I am a virgin anyway.
But having a bigger dick has made a big difference. am more confident in everything I do…It feels good going out to a club and looking a beautiful women in the eye cause i know i can hit that ass so F$£king good. I know this cause jerking off takes an hour now.
anyway this is just a tip to anyone how feels let down by their manhood, something can be done to make it bigger so its not the end of the world i guess
I don’t take issue with women that prefer big dicks. But then they can’t complain when a guy dumps their ass for a chick who’s younger, hotter, skinnier, or has bigger tits.
You can’t have it both ways and demand a big dick but also get pissed off when you’re passed over for being fat, flat, or ugly.
Very true.
Man I have to say after reading thread I feel way better about my self I have about 6.5 and almost three fingers wide when hard I thought it was small. The biggest thing is if your girl can’t be happy with what you got she is either lazy and doesn’t care enough about herself to tighten it up or she is just shallow and follows the media crowd that says you need a monster to feel good. I say be happy with what you got cause it ain’t gonna change
do u know what, do not waste ur time dat u are in arelationship where ur are not going to be satisfied in bed ti beter u quite and get some one whom u will not cheat on coz u will need to satisfy ur dires
If you know what to do you can be 9 inch- 4 it doesn’t matter that much but smaller guys better know what they r doing to be great big bois just fire away and she will NEVER leave you