Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
My current boyfriend is about 5 inches. And yes he probably does have the smallest penis of all the men I’ve ever slept with, but I still have the most fabulous orgasms with him. He makes sure I’m taken care of before, during and after. He’s amazing. Of course maybe it’s just that we love one another.
I have been with my share men *7*…don’t judge, but I have come to the conclusion that size does not necessarily matter. I am tired of the hype about the bigger the better. I have been with men who are large but can not work it or make it painful or uncomfortable for me. My current boyfriend is around 4″ and he is honestly the best (in the sex department) I have had, not only in the size department but those men who do feel that they are “small” excel in other areas (Cunnilingus)….so yes you should feel bad because god knows its not the size of the penis that makes the man!
Dude is not the lengh well ate least some is more the girth, im not blaming the world byt it self, just seems unfair, we could all be 8 inches long by 6 girth
like that threads like this wont appear in the internet and none of us would suffer like some of us do
thats why i hate this world
^
So you’re 7 inches long and you feel shit that you’re not 8 inches cos you think your GF would have no probs orgasming, with an extra inch?
Oh and this is the world’s fault?
well i have an 7 inches long for 5.4 girth and my current GF cant reach an orgams with it so yah i feel like shit with this crap, i have to do oral, and i feel fucking small, i hate this world cause of this
fuck this all
why aint we all 8 inches long with 6 inches girth this shit fucking sucks -.-
A 4′ inch dick is average for asian region. Even here in Asian region prefer that size, becaze it doesn’t hurt them.
DickSize
I am 44yrs old and have not been with many women becuase I was married for 20yrs. She died in car accident while I was in Iraq. I am 8.25in long and almost 6in around but have always thought of myself as small due to comments my mother made while molesting me as a child. She luaghed and told me that being so small I have to eat pussy real well or be alone all my life. I don’t think women understand how comments regarding size can damage. Size does not matter when you love someone. Love has a way of blinding you and you just want to be with your love always.
One of the best lovers I ever experienced was small. He knew exactly what to do and how to do it. Intercourse is not the only sex act in the world. There are lots of other things couples can do to have fun and have explosive orgasms. Size is not everything.
When will men and women realize it’s not size that matters? And I mean all kinds of sizes, not just penis.
I’d like to weight in my two cents though. My husband has a 9 inch penis, very thick. Is he fantastic in bed? Yes, after a lot of trial and error. Has it made me looser down there? No, it still hurts when he penetrates me.
My previous boyfriends has had around 5-6-7 inches. Were they fantastic in bed? Yes.
Both have their advantages and disadvantages. So relax men, enjoy your penises no matter the size, most girls do!! Now I just wish someone would put us small chested women to rest ;P
good comments. Liz. Millions of men have openly admitted that they find small chested women very attractive. You have nothing to worry about.
^ Assuming you’re a dude, you doubt you have preferences regarding the female form. Do those make you a misogynist and a propagandist?
What a bunch of misandry and propaganda…way to stir up some good ol fashion male bashing,judgements and sex negativity ladies!!
Yes, that’s exactly what Em&lo did by printing this horrible letter.
ok.. dont worry about it.
am a 30yr old guy an ive been with my girlfriend for about 4yrs now.
when we first had sex i was really wored as my manhood when hard is about 4 and half inches and i dint think she would be ok with it…
as the yrs have gone by i now no when we have sex sometimes she gets of on it and sometimes she dont.
even though my dick maybe on the small side she will always love me and sex is not always a big deal
Your relationship with her is about love and that’s the way it should be.
Try Mine.
I’m 5.5 inches and I’ve been with 4 girls in my life. Three of which I’ve given multiple orgasms to. Hell, I even had one who was a Caucasian screaming in spanish(I’m Spanish). Bottom line is, it depends on two things. 1 the motion of the ocean and 2 the emotional bond between both parties.
As an experiment I bought my wife a big dildo to see if I’m inadequate because of my insecurity of my penis some days. Turns out she doesn’t like the dildo because it hurts. My motto is “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.” If you love the guy who cares what size his member is?
Although I am pretty well endowed (8″) I think these women have it mixed up. First of all, I would say 70% of women find my penis hard to take and then the anxiety of taking it can make it even worse and the sex can sometimes suffer, although if they relax I always ‘whips that pussy’ and get them off. We’d all like bigger for ego sake but most women can’t take them.
Anyway, for the OP, have you girls ever considered it’s not the average mans fault for being average but your fault for being a dime store hooker who’s had a truck load of cock and a vagina like a wizards sleeve?Let me tell you, confident and experienced guys mock girls with huge pussys so just think about that….
Well said. Someone who constantly takes huge penises obviously has a huge vagina so it’s her anatomy that’s the problem.