Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
I restumbled on this article and seen that D called me a idiot. LoL I guess he knows my body better than I do. Yes D I have cervical orgasms!. I can also have clitoral and g spot orgasms. I know my body and for u to call me a idiot makes u look ignorant. Please dont write a book not all women are the same! Having my cervix stimulated during sex is extreamly pleasurable for me. yes u are right The first 2/3 of the vagina has the MOST pleasure receptors, the further back into the vagina you go, the less amount of nerves there are, and considering the clit has more nerve endings than in an entire man’s penis, that should be your MAIN focus! yes that is very true but the cervix can give great pleasure too and I can have a orgasm with it alone being stimulated. And I do not find penetration to be worth it if my cervix cant be stimulated along with my g spot and clit. Please dont tell me I dont know what I feel during sex! some women find it very painful for their cervix to be hit during sex we are all different.
Try the normal position…dont try the dog style becoz ur partner has small penis…
Size doesnt matter ..if you love the man who has small penis just be contented….ok
Very true.
Hi,my husband is a bit on the small side but we’ve always had great sex. Married for 8 yrs, i sometimes miss my more well-endowed exes, but i love my husband and can’t imagine life without him. My problem is that aftr giving birth, i feel i might not be as tight. How can i make sure i still please him? 🙁 are there positions,exercises,etc that i can do?
It all depends on the chick,and that’s the bottom line. I’m like 6″ pencil di*k and it’s been okay with some chicks and a total disaster with others.
I have about 6.5-7.0 when I’ve measured and depending on how hard I am. I’ve hit rock bottom to the point of causing my wife pain. So to those guys claiming 8 inch + dicks, literally go fuck yourselves. No woman likes to be penetrated by a fucking baseball bat. It only goes so far. And as for your ego, a big dick doesn’t mean shit. Its not about being more masculine or about pleasing a woman. It’s a joke. I have a friend who has a 9 inch cock and he complains that it is too high to the point of his partners complaining.
I have a smaller one, 4 3/4″ X 5″ thick, most of my women have always been larger, they have all liked it, even my now ex liked it for a long time, tell she started cheating on me with a few guys that were well hung, then she got streched out, and couldn’t feel it any more. My new girl friend is a lot thinner, and smaller, and she feels great, she is so tight, and it feels great, can feel it all the way in. We have great sex, some of the best we have ever had, and we are close to fourty. So does size matter, I guess if you have a big ass, and it has been getting pounded by hung males, I know like the smaller women, much easier!
I was with a guy who was about 7; and he was great. Then I started dating a guy who was a little bigger than he was and he was ok, didn’t orgasm with either. sex was enjoyable and fun, but I just couldn’t- than I started sleeping with a guy who the first time he pulled his pants down I though oh great- this is a bad ideas. Well let me tell you it has been the best sex ever; I actually learned what it felt to orgasm, we tried diff positions that with the other guys would hurt me and with this guy were amazing, and he wasn’t lazy- bigger guys have this idea that they don’t have to work at it; by far the best sex I’ve had has been with this smaller dude- after taking a break I started dating someone else and this guy is huge, sex hurts its not always pleasant. I miss my smaller guy! 🙁 so give the little guy a break he might just be amazing! society tells us dicks have to be big, that’s not always true, try it!
I might be 6 feet tall, had 2 kids vaginally, and been with 10 guys, but I’m so tight I can’t take anything bigger than about 5-6 inches or it just plain hurts.
@ “G” you don’t speak for most women anymore then i or anyone else can speak for most guys.You can prefer what YOU wish but your post comes off as arrogant and condescending…i feel sorry for judgemental twats like you who judge someone on something they cannot change: their size and height.What goes around comes around,karma is unforgiving b-tch.
Well said. G is an obnoxious, insensitive idiot for making such dishonest statements.
^ So the lady with a cervix is an idiot, and I should listen to you? Makes sense. I mean, you’ve brought over 90 women to the best climaxes of their lives. Cough… bullshit… cough cough…
And what the girl at the top said about achieving orgasm from her cervix being stimulated is an idiot, the cervix doesn’t have pleasure nerves therefore it cannot feel pleasure, it can feel pressure. The first 2/3 of the vagina has the MOST pleasure receptors, the further back into the vagina you go, the less amount of nerves there are, and considering the clit has more nerve endings than in an entire man’s penis, that should be your MAIN focus! A shorter penis allows not only entire penetration for the man but also you can use your pelvis to stimulate her clit at the SAME time while doing other things with your hands so you can actually give her a clitoral AND g-spot orgasm at the SAME time which is even more intense than either on their own :p Damn, I need to write a book haha
Oh and I’ve NEVER had a one-night stand with a woman ever in my life…so in other words, they’ve ALWAYS come back for more, most women I’ve slept with at once was 2, most in a single day was 3 (Not really proud, I was pretty depressed over my divorce and had severely low self-esteem issues haha).
Okay, first off, 85% of women FAKE orgasms, meaning that MOST men, big and small really have no clue what they’re doing when it comes to bringing a woman to orgasm, let alone multiple orgasms or even squirting. If you’re ok with 1-2 orgasms MAX if any at all (as this is what MOST women tell me their average amount of orgasms during a session are and MOST women have to play with their clits during sex to even get a single orgasm) then go ahead and stick with satisfactory. If you want to give your girl mind-blowing orgasms then regardless of your size, you need to know what you’re doing. I’m 5″ with a…2.5″ girth? not big by any standard but I’ve been with approximately 90 women with almost every single one of them telling me that I am the best they’ve ever had or one of the best always giving them an average of 5-10 orgasms per session (and that does not include foreplay or oral sex). Most women tell me I am the “perfect” size, or that they were “surprised” because when they first saw my penis they were worried that sex was going to be awful and that it ended up being a very pleasant and shocking surprise to them and that I changed their opinions about penis size 😀 Another trick, women can use Ben-Wa Kegel balls…like lifting weights with your vagina, it will make you tighter, girls I know who use them can’t take anything larger than 4-5″ without causing them pain. So it is equally as important for you women to learn your anatomies and what you can do to improve your own sex-life without leaving it ALL up to the man to do everything (sex is give and take after-all). So I promise, you guys are worrying entirely too much about this, do some research, learn the human anatomies, learn your partner…everyone is different and certain things turn people on differently, so take them time, explore each other’s bodies and I PROMISE you if you do this you will be the BEST sex partners either you have ever had, period…hope this helps 🙂
Size matters. I feel bad for men under 5’10” with a small penis. I’m quite petite, but my preference is always for taller men with a larger penis. I think this is true for most women.
Love is what matters, size does not. You express very screwed-up values.