Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
Wel i wil luv to advice we girls dat d size of d penis do nt really matta amd dat wat mattas is luv. If u really luv him even while havin sex d size wld nt b noticed rather breeze of luv shal entangle u two 2 an extent dat d pleasure wil b somtin else.so if i may advice dnt luk 4 size luk 4 LUV
Jay not gay…please admit the truth….
I am currently dating this guy, he is so romantic, and so on.. The problem is like specified on the post is that his penis are very small and wouldn’t get up at all. He can finger and eat me well. This is our first time being intimate and I really like him and wants us to work out; I told him how much i enjoyed being with him and that I had fun being with him, however, he was apologizing for the disappoint. So I wanted to get some advice on how to deal with him or help him. Suggesting him a an enlargement pill which am not sure will work, will that be a good idea?
You have been sodomized by over a thousand guys, willingly, and you claim your attraction to men is non-existent? You get fucked in the ass, by men. Over a thousand of them. And no attraction? Over a thousand penises have been in your anus and you’re not gay? You have gay sex, with gay men, but you, yourself, are not gay?
I get paid to paint people’s houses on weekdays, 9-5. But I’m not a painter. It’s complicated.
My penis can be ranked as really thick/huge to a tiny thin limp biscuit. I’ve had women tell me that I am a great lover and swallow my stuff in passion and I’ve had women turn down a second opportunity saying why bother. It might be hard for some woman to understand how a man identifies so much with his penis. I once had an affair with a married woman. She told me she loved me before we had sex. She told me her husband was older and way too antisocial and that she wanted a divorce. We made out passionately and got a motel one afternoon. We got naked, but I felt weird about eating her out. Afterwards she told me it was not good and that her husbands cock was twice as big as mine. I never talked to her again despite her apologizes. 🙂 to me she said that because she did not feel passion during sex.
I have an interesting spin on dick size. I love women and have had many I’ve enjoyed. But my personality goes dark and wanders sometimes. I get bored and anxious easily. I have no attraction to men.. but I have had sex with probably over 1000 men in my life..All safe and always as a bottom. I’ve been disappointed and I’ve also been ripped to the point I needed to take two weeks off from gay sex. I can honestly say my dick is bigger than average. I can also tell you many men have no idea how to fuck. I’ve told a man he has no business fucking and seen him crumble. Something about putting all that pressure on a man’s performance does turn me on somehow. Also having a bigger erect penis touch my soft small penis is a huge turn on too… and I’m not gay. I’ve never kissed or held hands with a guy in my life – and never will. It’s very complicated.
The hypocricy of the original post and the comments is obvious. Giantless says guys under 6 are shy? Ya think they are dumb? Clearly today women JUDGE men based on the mass media fixation on penis size. Do you think men would not feel it? The message hits a guy like a brick, starting in middle school. Very sad that liberation of women now allow it to be openly discussed and put on TV! Our culture emascluates men in multiple levels and then wokmen add on penis size Just so you are aware, I do not fall in that category but have the same shy reaction to any women seeing me nude. Flacid penis size should never be revealed to a women without deep spiritual committment to the relationship. Women have been taught by their peers and the culture to use it agaist any guy and have been give full freedom that it is even a right so they OWN their SEXUALITY. After 30yrs of marriage the damage throughout the culture to relatships and families is beyond calculation. Do women really hold dick size as one of their checklist items? Any comment or critical implication should be a an absolute deal breaker for a man today. It reveals more than the words about the women, will not get better and will be used again as the women encounters relationship or personal stress. It is about the women, not the penis!
Interesting reading all the comments from women who like men with small penises, its not the size that counts, its what you do with it of course. When my girlfriend first saw my erect penis she thought it was a bit too large, she measured it with a tape measure as 9″ long by just over 5.5″ circumference. I said that’s not the way you measure a penis, you counted the balls too, so take off 2″ making it 7″, anyway when we got married I had to take it gently, aware that I had a slightly above average penis, sex was great, as long as I had plenty of foreplay, she came everytime we made love. I think men with small penises are very gentle when it comes to making love with their wives, hate guys with large penises that go about boasting.
I have an average size penis about 5 or so, and have never really had a gal complain much. I am in really good shape from the work I do, and can put woman in great positions easily! Also after I have a few drinks of Tequila I stay erect for a long time, sometimes hours! You would think it would do the opposite, but not for me. So I think having an average size penis, and good staying power seems to be the ticket for almost all of the women I have been with. Just my oppinion though! Also I love a few shots of Tequila to get the mood right, so it all works out!
Anjall – Sounds encouraging! Mine is about 4.5″ also but I can’t go very long at all. I do however give oral as part of foreplay! 🙂
My ex husband had a big one and hurt me a lot. He bragged how lucky i was. After 18 miserable years of marriage, i met an old flame. Have been having most fantastic sex of my life. He is only 4.5 inches, but can go on for an hour. Gals, its the feelings which count. I come umpteen times and its just heaven. I am 47 and he 50. My ex can wave his flag no end, he is no match
@dallas I’m sure you’d be disappointed with mine since its just 4 inches.
I do like your honesty though! :). That lady friend I talked to also said her perfect size was 6 1/2 inches.
The massive dick, for me, is overrated. Anything above 8 inches is much too painful and its true, some positions you just can’t do without getting your lunch scrambled and squealing in pain. Maybe some chicks dig it but I am not one of them.
That said, length is definitely important, but so is girth. Some of the best sex I have ever had have been with men who were about 6 1/2 inches long and pretty thick. It was satisfying because he filled me up without being freakishly large. For me, a penis like that is the absolute ideal.
It also comes down to how its used. I (unfortunately) dated someone once who loved to talk about how he had pleased his exes, and how large they told him he was. His penis ended up being about 5 inches and thin, and to top it all off, the sex was simply awful because he had no idea how to use it. His misuse was the worst part of it all. His thrusts were very fast and shallow; it felt like he was only using half of his penis. Terrible, just terrible.
I guess it all comes down to preference, but then also to how you use your equipment. Let us have it boys!
My erection is 4-4.5 inches long. Like some ladies have said I do put a girls needs above mine and will always eat a girl out as part of foreplay.
That said I understand how there are women that do prefer a lerger penis. Nothing wrong with that either. 🙂
A friend told me she doesn’t think my penis size is that bad but does prefer larger. I think that’s pretty honest of her to admit.
why women here always saying that men with big dicks always lazy and not want to explore other things beside penetration??? you said size dont matters but what you said are contradictive…you all here generally judge men with big cocks are arrogant, cocky, jerks ..i have big size but i’m not lazy and i want to please women not just by my dick but with my tongue , hands, any body part i have….i hate to said this but women who said all guys with big dicks are jerks are same cruel as women who dont like men with small dicks……thats why i hate my big dicks, cause i think women HATE men with big dicks and always judge us BY OUR SIZE!!!!! ALL THESE POSTS MADE BY WOMEN IN THIS SITE PROVE ITS TRUE!!! F*CK IT
Some guys with a smaller penis can eat girls out the best ways possible and they are also some of the funnest guys to be around and make the best companions because of their selflessness. My bf always looks for ways to satisify me and it is just amazing. Plus, it’s a big bonus when I’m going down on him b/c I can please him so much easier and longer w/o getting my jaw tired. Small penis guys rock 🙂