Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
Everyone has an opinion…so which one matters most? The one that encompasses all that is fair and honest. I see honesty in all of what is said here so where is the fairness? Lacking completely….I get aggravated at the thought I could waste my passion and even one ounce of energy on a woman who lays there secretly judging my every move and endowment. I MEAN..what the heck is wrong with this type woman. A man cannot help how he was built. Just be open and friendly at least. And women please stop being afraid to openly share your sizest mentality with a man. It can’t possibly spare his feelings knowing you kept a secret from him. Especially if you plan on dumping him in the first place. Can’t you at least be a friend to the guy and wish him luck..maybe support him in his quest for happiness. Sign him up for the blow job list….build him up. Not cringe and treat him like an abhorent plaguee to be avoided at all costs. I used to be extremely well endowed…its not a good feeling to be cast aside so awkwardly by a woman just because you had hopes she would accept you. Geesh
@Yannick. I’m sorry that I have made you so angry. All of your nonsensical ramblings that you posit to be facts are BS. Why are you talking about all of my failed relationships? I’m 24 years old! I have had two VERY successful (2-3 years each) relationships with very amazing (and endowed) men that ended for reasons such as immaturity, differing future plans, etc. Each amicable, and to this day my exes are in my life in a great way. Between relationships I HAVE had many dating experiences that have usually ended because the attraction was not there and the man is too into me right off the bat.
In Re: to your quote “confident people don’t rant and make others feel inferior”… Okay Yannick. I’ll leave you to think about why I am highlighting that one on your own.
I have said it before that I am not trying to put people down on here. I also never said I was perfect. What I have said is that I am picking partners for whom on paper I think am ideal. I am picking partners with whom I believe to be compatible.
Is it so wrong for me to want to date a man with a nice body, who is experienced in bed, into fitness, is pursuing higher education, is handsome, funny, and well endowed?
I am a fitness junkie, am great in bed (adventurous and skilled), am pursuing higher education, am confident in my beauty, am fun to be around, and have curves in the right places.
I’m not saying that I’m entitled to anything by virtue of my looks. I am saying that I am entitled to whoever I desire because we are freely choosing human beings. I am finding a lot of people on here taking the position of “SizePrincess” must be so ugly on the other side of that computer, so unconfident [sic] and used and abused that she comes on here and lies about everything to bring people down and make herself feel good”. These same people on here are attempting to bring me down by asking me to think about my (fit) ass and breasts. This is the same tactic that you are shaming no? Unfortunately it actually just doesn’t work on me.
Really, the fact of the matter is that there are people in the world who are as self confident as I am. None of us needs to apologize for it.
There are men who are exactly as I described earlier. Whether you as a man fit the bill or not does not define your worth as a man. All it says is that SizePrincess is not interested in dating you, that doesn’t mean that x million other women would not find you to be their type.
What I also know is that, as great as I believe myself to be, it’s clear that many men would say that I am not their type. They may say they don’t date brunettes, only like girls > 5’5″. And this is fine and great! I love a man who knows exactly what he wants and will settle for nothing less. I would never feel inferior because somebody out there has a type that i just do not match, whether or not I can change that quality. I wouldn’t take these a attacks on my worth, just means one less man to weed through.
I truly believe that self confidence is the key to happiness. I wish you all the best in life and love, and I leave you with a few words of advice:
1) Be happy with what you are and have, SOMEBODY will love you
2) If there’s something that you don’t love about yourself (e.g. spare tire?), then change it!
3) Stay healthy, love freely and never settle
4) Strive to be the best you can be, educate yourself, travel the world, and experience everything you can while you’re young
Cheers People! 🙂
If you expect me to have an 8 inch dick like a pornstar I expect you to have a perky pair of D’s and a thick ass like a porn star. It’s pretty simple, noones perfect. And what we ‘lack’ in size we usually make up for with our tongue and fingers 😉
to princess-its clear that you think that you are superior that everyone, again shows me how insecure you are, you find the men you like but yet ur relationships dont last, why is that?that’s quite strange for a woman who has options?are u breaking up with them because u want to? if so is shows YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND UR NEVER STATISFIED WITH WHAT YOU GOT” which shows INDECISIVENESS(due to lack of confidence) and disatisfaction is a created state, which u created in ur mind, again ur only advertising ur “insecurities”. IF U THINK U DESERVE MR PERFECT, THEN WHY ALL THE BREAK-UPS?, ITS BECA– USE U HAVE INFERIORITY COMPLEXES URSELF AND U BELIEVE U DONT DESERVE IT, CONFIDENT PEOPLE FEEL DESERVING , CONFIDENT WOMEN “DONT RANT’ LIKE U DO, SO FAR, ALL U HAVE SHOW IS LACK OF CONFIDENCE, VANITY, INFERIORITY COMPLEXES AGAINST MAN(because obviously u were used and manipulated by them)insecurities about ur worthiness and of course that’s why ur relationship don’t last, ever wonder why u get the same results over and over again, look in the mirror sweetheart, u aint no shining star, thats why u have breakups, bottom line, IF U DONT AGREE WITH ME, THEN TOO BAD, IM NOT GIVING U MY OPINION, im giving u the facts, pick up any knowledgeable psychology material, u can FOOL ME SIZEPRINCESS, SO TELL ME , u have a 24 inch waist with a bubble butt and nice boobs, chances are very slim, MEN have OBVIOUSLY critized ur body and called some of UR BODYPARTS SMALL OR UNATTRACTIVE,again i can tell a lot about u ….REMEMBER ITS NOT MY OPINION, U CANT ARGUE WITH FACTS AND WELL-RENOWED PSYCHOLOGISTS, U ARE A FOOL IF U THINK U CAN AND IF U THINK U CAN FOOL US AND PROVE US WRONF….ENJOY UR FAILED RELATIONSHIPS AHEAD, U KNOW THE DRILL, he dates u, then fucks u when HE moves on, because u obviously don’t have what he wants, u know the drill, LETS BE FRIENDS”(LIKE U SAID) or u leave ur well-endowed boyfriend because ur indecided and wants something new(because u don’t know what u want, again due to low self confidence,and of course dissatisfaction because ur a “VICTIM that why u blame other people for how u feel, UR NOT A MASTER, masters don’t go through life going through break-up after break up, VICTIMS DO, because VICTIMS(such as urself) don’t get what they want, PERIOD…now that i think about it, u must have dated a guy who was that well-endowed but yet u cared about him but yet he left u, that’s prolly where ur inferiority complexes came from as well, and why u need to bash other men and women, and u have inferiority complexes with women as well because, OBVIOUSLY MEN HAVE LEFT U for better looking and busty women.so i understand why u feel INFERIOR, but u dont need to bring everyone down with u , REMEMBER CONFIDENT PEOPLE DONT RANT AND DONT MAKE OTHERS FEEL INFERIOR!!
SIZE PRINCESS-THOSE WHO HAVE FAILED in relationships in the past such as urself(u said u keep finding well-endowed men from good family) yet break ups still happen?what a joke, u keep finding MR RIGHT AND U FUCK UP THAT MANY TIMES, ITS CLEAR U LACK CONFIDENCE, and people with low self-confidence needs approval, that’s why its so important to mention ““a partner who didn’t actually outright tell me that I am the most attractive and best lover they’ve ever experienced” men always say that…I bet you are average in all departments”,lol, u have no clue how much of your insecurities your spilling out just by saying this, its great, PLZ RESPOND AND LET US KNOW HOW INSECURE YOUR ARE, u can fool a lot of people who know nothing about psychology we “WE” know why ‘YOU SAY THE THINGS YOU SAY’too bad, u probably thoght u had a point, POOR THING U ARE!!
SIZEPRINCESS-its clear u are way over your head, u would cry like a little girl if a guys says ur boobs are small and u have a flatt ass or a fat nasty flabby ass, AND IF U SAY NO YOU WONT, THEN WE ALL KNOW U ARE LYING, ITS OBVIOUS THAT you have INFERIORTY COMPLEXES and your advertising it by the things you, so, u dont need to give that much info, WE DON’T KNOW U
Lol so let me get this straight…
SizePrincess’s Mr. Perfect needs a Ph.D and a big penis? Conversations with you must be so interesting…
I can’t wait until the looks that you believe entitle you to the world run out.
SizePrincess is right in most cases. Everybody is attracted to big penis and experiencing it in real makes the difference . A girl who didn’t like 8 inch penis would go for smaller dick cuz it doesn’t make her feel good, in that case she might settle for 6 inch penis.Life is about balance.If a guy can not satisfy a women with 5 inch penis , then he can always find another women who does ,it would hurt his pride but there is no other choice ? you can try 100 girls and among them 10 would like your dick . A guy with bigger dick hurt 10 girls out of 100 and rest of em like him. Girls like tall guys , taller then her . Now funny thing is , the Size Princess gets 10 inch dick boyfriend she cant fit in ,even thu his partner is phd and from a good family , would she reject that big penis ? If it makes her feel bad , she would and she wouldn’t say bigger penis is revolutionary anymore . There is no perfect companion in life but there are compatible partners .Now think about porn stars who are highly educated n has phd degrees , why would they choose this life style , there are countless reasons , pleasure takes the number one spot for most of them. Guys and girls in this thread who are debating failed to please some guy or girl in their life , you can always improve ,if not you can alway find other options or compromise somewhere and balance it .And guys or girls who feel they are amazing , they have their own problems , cuz they have set their standards bar high , in most cases they wouldn’t find a guy or girls of their standard , that might give them satisfaction in a way that no body can be measure up to them but in truth , it makes them desperate as well .And think about it, if amazing girl SizePrincess meets a guy who is better then her in all aspect rejects her, how miserable she will be ? now you see that being amazing has its own demerits n challenges. i am not here to breed hatred but i did hit some ppl nerve i guess ,just remember if someone says say yr an idiot, and it hurts you , then you really are an idiot . Now it doesn’t mean you will remain idiot for the rest of your life . you can always change the ways of life . In my experience ppl who name themselves Princess aren’t good looking 😛 . ppl say i fell in love with a guy or girl . Love = set of preferences such as good looking , educated , bigger penis, bigger boobs , taller guys or girls , funny humor , status , money etc add as many as you want . if these good points disappear would you still be able to love him or her. The point is there is love is not all that great as ppl say it . You can always choose not to love someone right ? so find a guy or girl who is most compatible with you , you can not satisfy all women or men in the world and it would hurt you bad if you try so . Sorry for my bad english .
Sizeist you need to do what makes you happy. That does not make you a bad person.
sizeprincess…lol “a partner who didn’t actually outright tell me that I am the most attractive and best lover they’ve ever experienced” men always say that…I bet you are average in all departments.
bemused…she is being mean. Girls spew crap out of their mouths like its going out of style. Never let your ego be based on what a woman says!!! Sleep with her until you are bored, then find a woman.
Just checking in to say something. I’m actually very very sorry for men and women are aren’t confident in their ability in bed. Unfortunately some people actually just aren’t amazing in bed but I for one cannot be categorized as one of these people. I have never** had a partner who didn’t actually outright tell me that I am the most attractive and best lover they’ve ever experienced.
Beginning to think that many people in this thread are simply just of the degree of lover that neither is skilled nor believes they deserve to be with a sex god or goddess. The vibe I’m getting from many people here is “cmon give him a chance he’s really sweet and you never know when you’re going to get another guy who is this sweet right? Oh and better not tell him he’s not perfect or else you may lose him and we can’t have that! I can learn to live his mini d instead of going and finding mr perfect ( cause well I don’t believe I deserve it)..”
Desperate men and desperate women have dominated this thread. When you are exceptional in many ways you have full choicr in your life. It’s really a shame that most people will attack those of us who do have options even though we are NOT dehumanizing those men who don’t measure up. I have had to break up with men for small reasons (…) And never have I done it in a way that would alert them to this. Does “we’re better as friends” ring a bell?
I do this because I can. I know for a fact that within 3 days another super nice guy will come along yet he will have a perfect penis, a perfect smile, a PhD, a great family and anything else I desire. This happens all the time. I’m starting to realize that average lovers with just adequate sexual confidence- joes who can’t please and janes who don’t give bjs are most likely the ones finding my argument most offensive.
Please don’t be offended. The sex gods and goddesses of the world are picky because we can be. Don’t worry though, if you ever meet one of us you won’t even know. We’re busy pleasing each other and before you ever get past a few weeks of dating and a mere hand job we’ll be gone citing that “it’s not you it’s me”.. “You’re amazing but we’re better as friends”.. “You’re sooo nice. We better stay friends!”
Bottom line: Those who can, choose. Those who can’t settle (and then belittle anybody with practices outside of their own to justify their mediocre outcomes).. Hate to break it.
A post like this makes me sick. Sadly though many females like you are senseless cold hearted materialitic no good people. If you really care about the size of your lovers penis then you need to seek mental help. Im a big guy have been all my life. I have a 4.5 inch penis, but its very wide. If i lost some weight i might gain some inches, but im happy with my self. Their are other ways to please a lover, so if the penis isnt enough a good man can do the job. But it shouldnt be an issue, because if you know how to use it the woman should never complain. Women like you need to be locked away, because you have ruined many mens confidence and broken many mens hearts.
I totally agree. People like her have no redeeming characteristics whatsoever. Hurting men over the size of their penises is just nasty and inhumane. Nobody deserves to to be treated and made to feel that way.
Well this whole issue of size is over rated and some women just make it worse for men.
The average size penis in length is somewhere around 5.5 inches with a 95% confidence interval ranging from 5 inches to 7 inches. Most men are between 5.5 to 6.5 inches according to official statistics. Most men who volunteer to be measured obviously have some good degree of confidence due to their comfortable size so I may assume that the ideal average may be less of that.
About this post, personally I am in a relationship with a lady who fell in love with me mostly due to my size citing reasons as mine gave her the most pleasure in her entire sex life (6 inches to be precise!). After we got too personal she confessed to me that one of the reasons she chose to break up with her ex is that he was just too big for her (She never seemed to have cared about the length but the girth which she says every time they had sex, it would hurt her until she does not wish to have sex with him anymore!) and added that she tried to make him understand that she does not seem to enjoy sex with him and he should try to be gentle. She however broke up with him and she is now with me. Well after the revelations my ego was naturally wounded but we talked with her over it. Besides she says it is great with me since she is the rarest kind of women I have ever met with somehow above average sex drive/libido and admits it would be of no use if having sex only once hurts her until she does not desire to have it anymore! With me she can have as much as 8 rounds in a row (Literally the whole night!).
That said, I consider with my average 6 inches and high sex drive, I would be pretty useless to many ladies who would not withstand huge dicks.
Guys trust me, anyone ranging between 5 inches to 7 inches is the perfect for most ladies in this entire planet as long as you have the skills to drive a lady to orgasm. But if she wants an above average guy, who are we to dictate? It is her preference, let her go ahead and get what she enjoys..and all the best since men above 8 inches are also very rare too!
And guys the act of fucking, as compared to being a good lover is like saying hitting balls at a driving range constitutes playing a round of golf. You should be able to get her wet with mere words or a glance before you even touch her. The biggest erogenous zone is the mind by a landslide. There are multiple variables that go into satisfying a woman. Actual penis size ranks fairly low in the order of importance. Most females, unless they are ovulating, take a bit of warming up to reach peak arousal. This includes, conversation, eye contact, touching, kissing fondling etc etc. Real life sex is not porn (well 😉 it can be) porn is fictional and usually depicts what happens after you have revved her engine. Most women know weather or not they would fuck you within five minutes of meeting you. Its up to you to lead her to the place in her mind where that is comfortable for her. They want to fuck just as much, if not more than we do. They have just succumbed to the false ideologies that “society” likes to imprint us. It’s up to you to smash all of that shit down for her. Once you do she will see you as Tarzan and not some needy little bitch trying to get his pee pee wet. Dont be pussy whipped, whip dat pussy!
I dated this girl a few years back who had told me, as an afterthought, that she was worried I wouldn’t satisfy her. I’m a comfortable 6” and my erections are hard as a rock. She had told me that her ex was like 8 -9” but not nearly as rigid as me. Needless to say I fucked her lights out hundreds of times and she never had a complaint. Come to think of it there has only been one woman I haven’t been able to make cum but I had a bad case of whiskey dick that evening. Happens to the best of us.
Oh and to all of you pretentious bitches who are really hung up on dick size. We men have news for you. Not all of you are built the same either. Some of you are tight as a drum and fit like a glove. Yet some of you are loose enough for bigfoot. I have cut ties with women after less than appealing experiences
@dallas. Thanks for words of support Dallas. I no longer quite know what to think. I did a lot of googling (like many others I guess) regarding size and found many different figures so all a bit confusing.
My lady friend likes 10″ ideally – she didnt say all her previous had been that large, simply they were larger than me.Problem is that I like her a lot – she does excite me – so real hard to ditch her. Yet I know she is just treading water with me till someone better comes along. Ive tried everything to overcome the size limitation – toys, games, different environments, even become pretty good at oral – but she has done it all, seen it all, got the T shirt. She likes her cervix being pounded!
If there are tons like myou out there dallas, I wish I could meet some and feel like a man again.
Thanks.