Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
We all have requirements that equal a standard of what’s acceptable. Hopefully women will stop and take time to learn how it must feel to be with someone who’s standards you cannot meet. Its pretty shallow. to play sneaky secret “please me…its all about me” games with men whom cannot meet your standards or expectations . Perhaps women should start becoming well versed in ways to enjoy EVERY SINGLE TINY OR GIGANTIC dick they come across. No? And as far as the “Omg I can’t even feel it” excuse….that’s just ridiculous. I mean I don’t have a pussy but common sense tells me that if women just get their own clit to become aroused to the point of massive hardness then pretty much any tpuch to it whether by a largely endowed or smally endowed man will send you over the edge. If its a mental thing…condition your responses to be less egotistical. then maybe the mere fact that you are engaging in any sexual contact will heighten your clitoral response.
What i find interesting is the question “does size matter”. A man has to have a good job, make good money, be in good shape, provide etc etc, and then what? A big penis? and if he doesn’t he has to me a magician in the bedroom? lol! The presupposition here is that men were created as slaves to women and its all about us matching up. Hell a woman can sleep and still a man could orgasm with her. We have to perform(get hard) where does it end. I’ve yet to hear, SHE needs to know what she’s doing” why is it a mans responsibility to be incredible at everything? Don’t be so damn lazy women! What is it that you’re offering? Its not all about men pleasing women, it works both ways. Do something. At the very least take responsibility for your own orgasm, don’t put the burden on our shoulders, we carry the burden of society as well as fight the wars. So men stop kissing ass! And if ANY woman ever says to you, “Who are going to satisfy with that?” Look her in the eye and say, “ME”… Any woman who loves you will not give a damn. And if you really love a woman she can be flat chested and it won’t matter. If that sounds alien to you, you ain’t never been in love! Cheers! 🙂
Honestly, as a woman, I am sure that the penis size will always matter in the case it is too small,I won’t feel anything, I won’t even know when it is inside or outside!! If it is too big, It will be painful for sure, so a regular size, around 6” (not less, maybe a little more) is essential for any liberated-mind modern woman. Unless you find a surrealistic angel who is not driven by passion, which is what lots of men like the most. So I think you should find maybe a girl with a small body size if you have a small penis. If she’s regularly sized and not a virgin, you won’t satisfy her. I had sex yesterday with a guy and his dick was the smallest thing ever and I seriously got depressed because when you have sex is because you are looking for satisfaction and giving yourself for that, and when this happens is awful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just want a regular size 😛
Also, I’m really done with guys saying that anything over 5 inches is above “above average” or freakishly huge. In truth I knew only 3 guys who were under the 7′ mark. Two were 16, one was 17. Really I mean not saying they weren’t amazing lovers (young guys have SO much stamina lol) but just stop, just because you feel inferior doesn’t mean saying negative things about bigger guys is any better than the girls who talk shit on smaller guys.
I really do feel bad for guys who get bad rap for having a small OR big penis. Honestly I have rejected a guy for having a small penis because he advertised like it was gigantic or something! It wasn’t, it was 3inches if that. Honestly I’ve been with all shapes sizes and colors and I have to say whether it’s 5inches or 9inches as long as it feels good I’m not complaining. I would never reject a guy because he wasn’t like that one guy with a cock the size of a coke bottle! Also big guys don’t really have to do much, no matter which way they lean his dick will be rubbing her g-spot and everything that feels good, smaller guys unfortunately do have to put in that extra effort. Seriously guys, (of all sizes) look up how to stimulate her g-spot during sex, if you can rub up against it, it won’t matter if you’re 2inches she’ll think you’re a God. As for girls who won’t even give you a chance? Forget them they missed out and you don’t want that type of selfish shallow girl anyway.
Why are people giving sizeprincess a hard time (if you will forgive the pun :-)) She is telling it like she sees it. What is so wrong with that? Ok many guys on here, including myself, are scared of her because she would probably laugh if she saw our tiny peckers but she is entitled to her needs and desires.
And she has a strong point because even the women on here taking about emotion, technique etc are still doing it in the context of size and clearly know what is big and what is not. Therefore they are aware of size and understand it and most of them do compare the guys they have known.
Guys lets face it – we all know that women want big if they can have that. They may compensate that in different ways – technique, oral, toys etc – but assuming the guy knows what to do then they will take big over small anytime. Its a painful thought and it hurts to know that but it is true. I guess we have to live with the thought of being inferior
I am pursuing a PhD and have a 7 inch penis. Do I win a prize?
SizePrincess, the reason many on here are being aggressive towards you in some respect is because some of things you go on to say (such as in regards to confidence), may easily come off as arrogant. I’m not saying that you mean to emanate such an image, because only you would know that.
I think everyone is forgetting about the nature of the vagina. We ladies have the ability to STRETCH to accommodate ANY SIZE, whether on the larger end or the smaller end. If a woman is highly aroused when a man enters her, chances are it’s going to feel good no matter what size (as long as the guy isn’t too big for her or enters too fast, which can be painful!). Length is a different thing to width and is far less of a factor in a woman’s pleasure (though many women including myself enjoy deep penetration, many girls don’t and it rarely in itself leads to orgasm, since the G-spot is only a couple of cm into the vagina).
Technique and the way a man uses his hips is far more important than size. One advantage that comes to mind for men with penises of average to short length is that if a man has a very long penis it often won’t fit in all the way, and the girl misses out on that delicious grinding on the clit, which is a huge factor for many women in reaching climax. Sure, women who have been having daily sex for months with a guy who is very thick might take a while to get used to a slimmer penis, but women can definitely ADAPT to their lovers.
Any guys reading this with small penises – stop whinging, think about what I’ve said and get out there and please a lady! Guys who are larger and smug about it – for goodness sake don’t assume just because you’re big you only need to ram it in for the girl to plunge into ecstasy. Ladies – if you agree with me please speak up, for the benefit of the men reading this and their lovers. And guys, please please please remember that for ladies great sex is so much more about how we’re touched, whether we’re in the mood, how long it takes to get in the mood, the atmosphere of the situation, being relaxed, individual needs as to how we orgasm and of course how much we LIKE the person… Penis size is but one small aspect in a myriad of factors. Be sensible!
We all want the best thing in the world , if we cant, we settle for something less, happens all the time. Ppl in this thread shows us lot of things including insecurity ,avg mind judgement ,jealousy ,hatred etc.why?bcz this is a sensitive topic and most ppl are being honest in my opinion cuz they could easily say they are 7-8 inches but they are not . Now i know for a fact that if size princess tattoos “8 inch requirement ” on her body , she will be treated as bitch , whore , degraded human being and knowing that she wants guys to wear tattoo which reveal their penis size.Probably she didn’t think deep enough while writing that line.I wouldn’t care otherwise . There are different kind of ppl in this world which is why its exciting and I know for a fact that ppl who call themselves amazing are not great human being .Especially when they are constantly reminding ppl how amazing they are .Great ppl are humble and simpler then most ppl. (again I apologize for my bad English, I am still learning ).
You guys keep arguing with SizePrincess like you can negate her perspective. Assuming she’s not just a troll who’s misrepresenting herself on the internet to cheese people off… you’re all just going to have to accept her reality. Some people have a narrow range of what constitutes an attractive person (8-incher, PhD, etc). And when that person is hot enough to consistently achieve their sexual goals, we all get a little jealous. And when that person is obnoxious about it, like SizePrincess, it REALLY brings out the hater in us all.
But the fact is, the SizePrincess of the world are here to stay no matter how you rail against her.
Luckily for most of us, hers is only one of three perspectives consistently voiced throughout this thread. The other two are:
1. I prefer smaller penises because of the way my body is built.
And,
2. I like a range of penis sizes, but there’s more to an attractive and sexually competent man than just the size of his dick.
So forget about SizePrincess. If you’re a smaller guy, she’s just not your target demographic, that’s all. Find a woman who is.
haha! its really turning out to be a good topic for discussion.Sizeprincess asked “Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve..”I could ask the same , why can`t good looking girls come with requirements tattooed onto their wrist or something ?tattoo this >>”8 inch penis required to satisfy me ” what will this do for you is that you only get to date with bigger penis men , problem solved ,no more disappointments SizePrincess.
“Is it so wrong for me to want to date a man with a nice body, who is experienced in bed, into fitness, is pursuing higher education, is handsome, funny, and well endowed?” The answer is no , its not wrong .
“1 do this because I can. I know for a fact that within 3 days another super nice guy will come along yet he will have a perfect penis, a perfect smile, a PhD, a great family and anything else I desire.” << That is a lie . now you are not amazing any more except in bed of course :P.And we wouldn't want advice from a girl who would lie to make herself amazing . ~peace
I have what I consider an average size penis (6inches hard). The girth is also average in my mind ( about 3 1/2 inches around). I have been told buy more than one woman, that my cock was like concrete lol. The size is not important. It’s all in how it is used and how long it stays hard. If you can give a woman multiple orgasms with that “small stay hard” member, you have done your job as a lover.
Size Princess,
Be careful in your eternal quest for the giant schlong because you might wake up one day and realize that you let your true soul mate pass you by. Life isn’t always about the super size.
But hey, don’t worry, a sex goddess such as your self gets offered the “perfect penis” every three days. Is that how you became such a sexpert at the ripe age of 24?
A true sex goddess knows how to get off with all shapes and sizes. Just ask Jenna Haze: “I do love the big cocks, but I have had guys with small dicks, that have made me orgasm like crazy, much more then the big ones do. I know this sounds cheezy, but it’s true – it really is all about how you guys do it, then what you have to work with. It’s the connection, the way they fuck – small dicks have definitely made me a puddle.”
My husband has a small penis. Its not thick either. But he is so amazing in bed that I really forget to notice what size his penis is. yes I fantasize about big penises occasionally, but in the end it doesnt matter. My ex husband had an 8 inch penis and he was such an asshole that I dont even miss him one bit. If you love the person and they are sexy and skilled in bed it wont even enter your mind as he enters you.