Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
I often hear men and women say that penis size matters it’s got to big blah blah blah WELL LET ME TELL YOU I have been happily married to my lovely wife for 28 years we have a fully enjoyable sex life we have never strayed either of us and my penis is only 41/2 “long we have two children and both me and my wife have a very good and enjoyable sex life no regrets no problems so for those of out there who think just because your penis is not massive don’t worry
^ A thesis on gender relations, from a guy who thinks that men prefer female circumcision? Which doctoral program are you in, exactly?
You know I’ve had the opportunity to read this whole thread and was highly disappointed. I’m actually putting together a thesis on how women and men relate sexually to each other.
I thought men could be mean toward woman but I’ve found women to be a lot worse in the category of cruelty.I wonder if American women in particular understand the pressure they put on men? They want a wide girth, above average length, circumcised, penis from a guy who gives good oral sex, not lazy in the bed and can go all night long. This is a perfect man to most American women and they should shoot for this if they so desire – but I ask what if the man require the same of a woman?
A man wants a circumcised woman (women get stigma as well and vagina stinks horribly bad just like an uncut penis when not clean properly) – because of that women should get circumcised (don’t say its not the same because it is actually – but women have more skin depending on the size of the Labia or the clit and hood). A man wants good oral sex, not lazy in the bed (most women are – horribly selfish but men don’t say it unless you ask them in secret), natural DD’s, small vagina with a normal size clitoris. Not all of the excess meat hanging off the vagina. Women don’t like the extra skin from an uncut penis – why should a man like all of the extra skin on a woman?
I find it extremely interesting that the very things a woman don’t like in a man – she has the same issues. When I see threads dealing with women complaining about a man size – you must ask does he complain about the size of your vagina? Women want these 8’s and women want small vaginas. I wish I could go into the details of my book – but I’m more upset with the women post because we don’t understand our selfishness. We don’t understand that men have the same rights to have the same request of us.
The things we hate about men – we must make sure that we don’t carry that problem or we are hypocrites and that includes circumcision as well. If it seems to painful, absurd and foolish to suggest a woman have circumcision – if you think its foolish for a woman to cut off some of her most sensitive part of her vagina just like a man is required by women to cut of 20 thousand sensitive nerves then you should reconsider what you ask of a man and ask yourself – am I willing to do the same for him?
We have become a selfish gender and we demand what we are not willing to give of ourselves. Think and if your not a sexist you will see that we have been programmed with a gender based idea that sadly needs to be fixed. Why are women forced and could go to jail if they don’t wear a shirt but the very thing that attracts women to men when is a nice chest and able – men have exposed. Or better yet would you be comfortable if a woman with great breast walk around your husband exposed? How does that make men feel when a man with great abs and chest walk around his wife or girlfriend exposed; daily?
@Rebekah: Thanks for the laugh, that was pretty funny! You know, for a moment there, I was thinking, “Wow, I feel so inexperienced … I have no idea what a ‘cornfed’ penis is, let alone why it’s not any fun!” hahaha
I meant to say curved, not cornfed. Stupid autocorrect lol
I’ve had a small penis so small that I ran…and never talked to the guy again. Boy did I feel awful but what can you do? I’ve had average penises that were too narrow and could barely feel anything. I’ve had great penises that were perfect and fantastic, would love to have made a dildo out of a couple. I’ve also had a really large penis that wasn’t pleasant. I’ve had one that cornfed, not fun. Had one that was smaller at the top than the base…eh. For all that, what im really looking for is a kind man, a gentle man, a thoughtful man, one who loves animals, could live without having kids, and who is God thinking. And for that, I’m negotiable. But the great ones I’ll never forget and there are some that no matter how great the man is I can’t handle. Will I ever find the right match? Maybe, maybe not. I don’t mind either way. Just am ok with what life brings or doesn’t.
All i can say is that you dont have to have a large penis i am chubby and my pennis is 6or7 but all the girls ive been whith have told me that they enjoyed the sex the trick is. On the shape of your pennis. Mine is curved girls love curved pennis i and you need to know how to ejaculate a girl she will love it truth
What strange responses to her question! Four to six- inch penises are NORMAL size, while the over seven-incher was above average. Not only should “size queen” know that, but everyone else should too. Sex articles and stories with pictures almost always have guys with large cocks as models, mostly because the average-sized guys don’t volunteer to be shown in them. Consider this: Millions of women have had sex with men having penises UNDER six inches long and most probably had orgasms–or didn’t make it a topic of discussion. furthermore, oral sex only became widely practiced in the last 40 years or so, which meant many women must have gone unsatisfied in history while depending only on penis size to gain pleasure.
Hold on Joe. Just because the woman who wrote this letter wants men to tattoo their penis size on their wrist, don’t generalize and include the rest of us in that category. I’ll tell you what women want. Women want a man who is HONEST, who doesn’t play games, who can love them for WHO THEY ARE, and who happens to be passionate in bed. A man doesn’t have to have a massive donkey dick to be passionate, just how a woman doesn’t have to be stick thin or “fit” to know exactly what she’s doing in bed. I would much, much rather have men come with “LIAR” or “PLAYER” tattooed on their foreheads instead, so that women would know to stay away.
So women want all men to tattoo there penis size on their body huh! Okay, I think all women should get a tattoo that lists the projected number of pounds they plan to gain once married. Fair is fair. This way if a guy sees a three digit number he can run away.
I would turn him into a cuckold if I were you.
She has a hugh vagina, that’s the problem, as soon as your new boyfriend finds out he will dump you for sure….lol
Emmett it is not occurring as I browse this blog.
And as far as women being flawed in charachter just becausd they prefer a thick meatier lengthier than most sized dick….I think that is simply personal preference and to attack a woman simply due to her preference seems a tad malicious. Yes she needs to give the little man proper respect and yes she needs to find out why her genitals do not respond to small dicks attempted stimulation but that doesn’t make her flawed…just unaware and/or narrowminded..cheers
I do not know whether it’s just me or if perhaps everyone else experiencing issues with your blog. It appears like some of the written text within your posts are running off the screen. Can somebody else please provide feedback and let me know if this is happening to them too? This might be a issue with my web browser because I’ve had this
happen before. Thank you
Keep.pursuing that man, ull never get him that way…u are a generic woman with low self confidence and an inflated ego with vanity..u need to develop the qualities you want in ur partner in YOU first.u need to become the woman that perfect man would want If you don’t have that relationship with the perfect man then you don’t have the necessary qualities yet to have that type of relationship..its quite simple…stop looking OUTSIDE OF U ,ITS time U TAKE RESPONSABILITY FOR URSELF LIKE THE
CONFIDENT WOMAN SHOULD…if u dont
have ur dream relationship it means u
settled in ur past 2 relationships.stop
contradicting urself. like I said before
success not something you can pursue
its only something you can attract to you
based on the person that you become
So ask yourself why would the perfect man be interested in you I mean after all based on the results to getting it clearly shows that your woman with low self confidence with vanity with no options or else you wouldn’t have to successful
breakup yet you believe that the perfect
man should be interested in a woman
like you and yet you don’t have the
necessary qualities to have the perfect
relationships because you haven’t
developed the necessary qualities that u want in.ur partner in URSELF YET,so thats why u were in 2 flawed relationshil and it.led to 2 successful breakups, again very uncharacteristic of a confident woman, but again u still young u can change, if u dont develop these qualities,u might be lucky to find the perfect man,but
the perfect man will soon realize that he wont settle for U since u lack the qualities that he wants ….so then he will sat “lets be friends”and u can add another breakup to ur failed relationshil while u look around and see all these confident women in their dream relationships wondering why u dont have it…..Start developing urself….coz the perfect man has developed himself
So should u or else say goodbye to the manof UR DREAMS…..CHEERS