Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
Proof that if your a guy and you want to get married marry a girl who is christian and a virgin. I think guys with big ones go around having sex with all the loose women. They are the ones women talk about when they say they want a confident guy. A guy with a big one has confidence and that’s where he gets it so they are the guys who ask girls out. Average guys are shy and so if your average then go to church find a virgin and Marry her. I’m not saying anything bad about non virgins I’m just say don’t marry one unless your hung and if your hung your not going to marry because you get it for free every day.
@ uknown: You’re right women are very very cruel.They are the main reason I’ve been severely depressed almost all my life.
I’ m boarderline 7′ in length,5.2 circumferance and I still feel inadequate,guys this is what women do to us!!!We should not tolerate their pigish ways any longer.And for the people who say:”size doesn’t matter”,k it does.Cause whats happens if a well-endowed man is also good at love making?He’ll beat out the smaller man every time…just a fact.And for the under average guys who will say:”Dude you’re above average,why are you complaining?”Fisrtly above average does not in fact necessarily mean “big” I’m sure most women hold average or a little above to be small.I just can’t see myself wanting to be someone,knowing that if she did get a taste of “big cock” I would be of very little (pun intended) desire for her.Now I just want to be alone,maybe have a one night stand here and there,leave and never look back.Love is a dead dream anyways…idk.I actually don’t have a desire to go out and meet women anymore,and as a result I don’t care to have sex anymore…I just masturbate alot now.Assisted suicide should be legalized,for people like me who don’t have the guts to pull the trigger I just want that perfect peace,no emotions,no worries or fears,no standards or expectation to live up to.Just nothing,hehe it seems so nice when I think about it,and I do…alot.No one would care anyway,just one less undesirable in world I guess.In fact I wouldn’t care…not at all.
It’s quiet distressing to read how some women can really be quiet, might I say “perdantic” about the size of a penis.. I have an extremely average 5.1/2 – 6 inch penis and from a majority of what I’ve read average is not good enough these days. Just a word to the ladies look for your average guy because let me tell you he’s willing to go further to please you. I really enjoy reading this though I feel for men who are rejected for size too me it just seems shallow.. I think things like this should be kept to to ones self because it seems like another one of those bigger is better generalisations. This aggravates me I’m sure women could address some more important issues in a relationship foremost. Rather then what his sporting under his draws.. Perhaps im ranting..
It just looks grim when people are so shallow.. Urgh, go eat some makeup so you can be beautiful on the inside.. No. I don’t mean that’… That’s just mean, maybe some women should just be patient and give there smaller bloke a chance that’s all I’m saying…
Peace
fellas with 3 inch dicks can be blissful at sex
they can be awful
8 inch can be mindblowing
they can be hideously painful
any can be growers or showers or respond to different things, different positions
i read recently vaginas are only about 4′
we can accomodate
it’s not about dick size!
it’s about chemistry, relationship, being in the mood! compromise with toys or finishing with different activities if you like him. both do pelvic floor exercises and shake it up. different guys root differently and diff positions might feel just as great, you just have gotten used to sex being a specific way
you might be unable to root your soulmate when you’re 90 anyways so why not go for someone you just enjoy hanging out with hey
love from a young chick who does not speak for all women just as any dude doesn’t speak for all dudes
If you know the penis size after the first date, maybe penis size isn’t the reason you’re still dating. Just sayin’.
so to the poster of the question,,keep looking u will find in time,,good luck
well each to their own ,but to all these woman who say size isn’t important bla blah well I hope u have had lots of different sizes to back up your statement.If u have only had a few dicks in your life u have no right to comment,,
Ive had many and do prefer something over 6 for sure,,giving head to a 4 is so not a turn on the 8 inch yum yum lol each to there own if your happy with a 4 inch good for u ,,if you want a big boy go for it I can understand,,men like skinny women men like fat women,,some girls like boig dick some don’t care,,there is no right or wrong answer here its personal choice..
and yes I have not had a second date because of a small penis,,
love is what matters, not penis size. It is far better for a man to live his life with a small penis than for a woman to live her life with no heart.
my penis is 3 1/2″. i’ve never had any complaints to my face. shallow question. if a man wrote a letter about dating large breasted women it would be blasted by feminists.
I belong to a s. California nudist resort and at 5-8, 150 lbs. with a good tanned build. I enjoy some nice looks from women, single and married. I’m blessed with a curved 7 incher when hard and I’ve been told that my nickname should be “Mr. Well-Hungo”–sometimes I have to be careful about not growing a nice hard on when in conversation with a hot woman.
Women are by far and wide the more shallow sex. I have never seen a man dump a woman or run away from them for having a weird looking vagina or nipples, looser vagina, smaller breasts, no ass, etc…despite those things making sex less pleasurable for the man.
Anyhow, if you need an 8″ inch penis to feel pleasure chances are excellent that you have much larger/looser vagina than average. The fault is not with your average-sized man here.
Topics like this make men of any endowment feel insecure. I won’t go into details but I’m one of those lucky ” ” guys with an above average endowment more so in length than in girth. The message that women send out when they make posts like this easily send feelings of insecurity. As a person, you’ll never be good enough. The reasoning behind this is no matter who you date there is always someone bigger or better out there or both. What does it take to satisfy you? There are tons of ways to “get off” and being realistic having an open relationship or an open sex life is key. I personally do not see the size of a penis as an issue, We have other tools to satisfy our partners. There are toys, stimulating lubricants,aphrodisiacs… I mean there are a plethora of things at our disposal. Reading things like this really make me feel like some women are super shallow and I live in a world where princess penistoosmall thinks no one is good enough. Because somewhere out there Mr 15″ is waiting to pick you up and drill away. Well all I got to say is, good luck.
Trust and believe me, Shah … you’re a jackass of the highest order. Please believe that.
Trust and believe me, Paddy…she has a couple of dildos stashed in the house, somewhere. Please believe that.
@Paddy I’m really happy for you that you found a wife that has been so great a partner to you for so many years. A woman is fully capable of making the best out of a situation. When she loves a man enough, she wouldn’t stray nor would she ever share that she’s ever disappointed in her sex life with a mate of below average size. She accepts her man for who he is and if that means never being completely satisfied, she’ll do that out of love. But that doesn’t mean she might not have a dildo somewhere.