Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person for thinking he has a small penis or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to my partner’s ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we highly recommend you give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. You’ve heard about society’s unfair expectation that women try to live up to impossible female beauty standards, right? Well, you’re doing the same thing, except with men and their dicks.
First, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is abberantly long; out of 100 men, only 5 will be longer than 6.3 inches! (Was it really 8 inches, or are you just bad at spatial reasoning?) It’s not like 8-inchers grow on trees and you’ve dated a string of giants and have come to discover (pun intended) that only super-sized schlongs can satisfy you. No, you just had one great experience with one rare “8-inch“ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, some men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex. Oral, manual, anal, toys — it’s all good, and in many cases, better! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, for the standard vagina, the majority of sensation is felt and enjoyed in its outer third, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix pummeled with a battering ram).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what more extended and extensive sexual interludes are going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options. We suppose you could post a dating profile specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply. But something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience — or the person himself — converts you? He is a human being after all, not a piece of meat.
Size is just a number,
Em & Lo
I’m the proud owner operator of a handsome 5 inch Caucasian penis. 5 years ago I met the woman of my dreams. I perused her with every ounce of my being. I asked, she said yes, we married. I was happy. Sex was sweet, not perfect, but I did not care. Having her in my life made me happy. Not so for her. She strayed. We went to counseling. Size issue was put on the table. She wanted more. Counselor advised. We tried everything. Reconciled. She strayed again. Divorced after 5 years. Hearts at half-mast. Her lover moved into my old house after 30 days. I tail spun down, lost my way, my self confidence gone. I prayed, prayed again, and when I was done, I prayed some more. Two years later, the Calvary finally arrived in the form of a pretty brown eyed woman. She found me and dug me out of the deep pit and never looked back. Trust grew. I rocked her in my arms every night for 6 months. No intercourse. I was scared. She wasn’t. She was right. Ultimately had the best intercourse of my life! She thinks I just say that to make her happy, but it’s true, it’s amazing. Her vagina seems smaller and shallower than my other lovers. I feel like I fill her completely, even to the point where she sometimes asks me to not “thrust so deeply”. Me Tarzan you Jane, I love it. Life is sweet, my Girl is sweet, she made all the difference to me! Once again the world spins in well grease grooves.
PS
My ex is single again, Her lover moved on after a year. Still a pretty woman. Any of you well hung men out there should look her up. She has a real nice house.
My wife hates my little penis.4.5.length 4.25 girth.i alow her hve sex with well hung men.she needs to feel like a woman.thats hard to do with a guy that looks like a little boy down there.my little penis is such a turn off to her she has no desire to allow me to enter her
That is funny. I am around 4″ and my wife is also having sex with better hung guys. I actually encouraged her and I am not mad. I just want her to be sexually fulfilled and this is one of the things I just cannot do for her. In the end it is just sex. She has sex with another guy once or twice a week but the rest of the time we are as happy as we can be together.
God, humans these days…
Inb4 men start turning to women-bashing arseholes http://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1mitex/a_ladys_honest_thoughts_on_penis_size/ (read especially the comment by TigerEyeTurtle who’s 4″ . Yes, fuckin’ 4″ !).
Women are proving how calus,morally bankrupt and demonic they really are in this thread.Funny how the feminists empower themselves by eviscerating men on this topic endlessly online.Keep continuing to an already out-of-control male suicide rate in america you irresponsible losers you effing make me sick !
I agree with uknown about female circumcision, which is contributes immensely both to a woman’s hygiene and is also the mark of a healthy society that cultivates refinement and civility. We shouldn’t hate women who reject a chode (very short penis) anymore than we should scorn shrewd and well reasoning men who recognize when a girl wishes to give her body over to pleasure and so takes his turn. Just don’t marry! Ha ha!
Have fun!
I have to say as a man having a small penis is about as frustrated as it gets, 5 1/2 on a good day, what makes it worse is my brother and dad both are bigger than me soft than i am fully erect.(i feel as though I am cursed) I have very low self esteem, I don’t enjoy sex cause I’m to anxious. Cant figure out why any girl would want to be with a guy with low self esteem and a small penis anyway, so I gave up long ago.. Very very frustrated, what makes it worse is I’m 6’2 195lbs blue eyes, and considered a good looking guy,, I have turned down many very attractive girls over the years, cause I’m to ashamed and just feel I will be a disappointment,,, It just sucks, I would really like to know what if feels like to be proud of your penis Instead of feeling like I want to just remove it so I can take that option out of my life and have no reason to even think about it. Its worthless anyway
Once you get used to the big ones you can never go back.
Might I add that I have been with a guy with a small penis but there was great chemistry and great kissing and foreplay and another guy who had a long and of reasonable girth penis and there was great chemistry and kissing, not much foreplay but he could manage a lot of different positions because of his extra length. Sex with my husband is mind blowing because of his girth, great oral skills and always making sure I orgasm first. My point is, you can have great sex with any size penis as long as their are other enjoyable factors. Sex isn’t the same with everyone but it can be great in different ways and if you’ve got a great connection the sex is always going to be great :0)
My husband is 6″ long and 6″ circumference. I think it’s all about the girth. I also think it’s about chemistry and great oral skills help too. I believe we are a very judgemental society and put way too much emphasis on what we want in others instead of concentrating on being a decent human being and finding someone that you can be happy with. Just be yourself and drop the preconceptions :0)
I’m reading through the comments and all I’m hearing is about how shallow women are about the size–
PLEASE!
I’m working so hard at this relationship, and it’s great!
However, 9 months of him being satisfied/me not getting off= waring thin.
I came here looking for genuine advice not to read about why this makes me a terrible woman.
This is bull!
I NEED HELP!
My bf is like 4″ tops- and NO GIRTH.
THIS IS GETTING SO HARD ON ME!!
ESPECIALLY SINCE MY NEIGHBOR IS HAVING MULTIPLE ORGASMS THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT!!!
I have NEVER EVER had such a terrible time in the bedroom.
I need SERIOUS help!! I really like him– it’s been about 9 months and I’ve tried so many different things, and I don’t want to hurt his feelings.
WHERE’S THE REAL ADVICE!!!
Go visit your neighbor and find out. Duhhhh
Christopher a woman will be honored to have you if she is the right one. I admire you.
I understand this dilemma for a woman. I’m a guy with a small penis only 5 inches. If a woman needs a well endowed man to satisfy her she shouldn’t have to apologize for it. Ladies guys like us we know we’re small & sometimes inadequate. It’s hard but life ain’t fair, so I tell a woman to be brutally honest so she doesn’t resent me, I’ll use a pump (they do work, albeit temporarily) or an extension, but if that don’t work, maybe we’re not compatible, I’ve even let some of my ex gf be with a well endowed men, just so she is pleased, but that never works, my point is if you have a small penis deal with it, I’ve learned to, I’m confident but there are some women I can’t please with my 5 inch penis, that’s life, if she can deal with it she’ll stay, if she can’t she’ll leave, that’s life. Ladies don’t apologize if you need a big penis…
Terry I wish there was a way to contact you. I see your frustration..I felt the same way about men…lol. Honestly i would want your size so please don’t close the door just yet. The problem is we always fall for the wrong lovers. Remember though God is powerful…God also represent the church darling.
Church and religion are fucking retarded!