And the LELO for Best Oral Sex Haiku Goes To…

Thank you for your many, many entries into our LELO Oral Sex Haiku Contest! You guys sure do like oral (or oral sex simulators… or LELO pleasure objects of any kind). And thank you especially for heeding to our wishes to leave the explicit stuff on the cutting room floor. Instead, you used beautiful images (from petals unfurling to hummingbirds descending), clever metaphors (from the tide’s arrival to a good book), and a sense of humor (blatant pandering, “FaceTime”) — and one of you even submitted a haiku in Japanese, with an English translation. Now that’s the way we like to haiku about oral sex!

We were incredibly torn when it came to picking a winner, but in the end it came down to Monica A., because she submitted so many wonderful haikus — thirty-seven in total, and any one of them could have been a winner. Congratulations to Monica, she wins a LELO Ora! (And not just because she managed to get “Em and Lo dot com” and “Ora” in a single haiku!) Monica, we hope you receive many years of pleasure — and not a single broken heart or complaint about “high-maintenance demands” — from  your oral sex simulator.

Below Monica’s winning entry, you’ll find our Thirty-Three Honorable Mentions. Yes, thirty-frickin’-three: You guys rocked this one!


Mouth on my pistil
I feel like a loaded gun
Lick lick, bang bang boom
— Monica A.

TOP 33 HONORABLE MENTIONS (in no particular order):

How about you go
first and then do me…ok
fine, we’ll sixty-nine.
— Colleen

Pages of my book
Read in detail by your tongue
The perfect bookmark
— Erin D.

Em and lo dot com,
Oral pleasure makes me smile
Ora should be mine!
— Monica A.

I am the quiver
Of sixty thousand starlings
Pulsing as they soar.
— Karah

Kimi no uta,
Yume no kaze desu,
Subarashi yo.

Your music,
The wind in my dream,
It’s wonderful.
— Heather

Who cares about size
Does your tongue work properly?
If so, we’ll be fine
— Monica A.

Peering through the moss
You discover, of all things,
A pearl to be kissed
— Inness

iPhones make me smirk;
“FaceTime” just means something else –
Him pleasuring me
— Monica A.

Eager, lustful wolf
Approaches my flowing stream
Longingly takes sips
— Anna Nicole

What do you mean you
don’t do that? Seriously,
you’re kidding right? Next!
— Colleen

A love note for you —
Spreading you across my desk,
My tongue is the pen…
— Monica A.

ocean waves seduce
lapping at forbidden shores
high tide is coming
— Chris

You’re taller than I,
So it’s a unique pleasure,
Gripping your thick hair
— Inness

Waves lap swollen shores
Until the levee explodes,
Chasing back the sea.
— Karah

wave washed stones, polished
and smooth, as a love song from
the lovelorn ocean.
— Colleen

My lover descends:
A velvet-tongued hummingbird,
Earning my nectar.
— Karah

flickering so fast
flickering woodpecker, oh
wood dont stand a chance
— Tawana

glistening pink rose
peel back each lovely petal,
slowly, rise with sun
— Amy

drowning in a sea
first a ripple, a wave, crash
then floating in bliss
— Amy

A ring of Saturn
Continues to spin nonstop
beautiful colors
— Tawana

Explore the ocean
Search for the man in the boat
Ahoy! you found him
— Tawana

Just a few quick flicks
And I’m where I need to be
Just Ora and me
— Monica A.

Fire passes through me
Underneath love’s canopy
Eat, live, be happy.
— Monica A.

Two is a party
Ready to rock my body
Just Ora and me
— Monica A.

Tongue play is heaven
She touched me once and I learned
Girls do it better
— Monica A.

I have a secret
It’s locked up inside of me
Your tongue is the key
— Monica A.

Her petals unfurl
Under gray dawn’s humid kiss.
The dew drops quiver.
— Karah

Your tongue like an oar
Row my boat faster, harder
Make me come ashore
— Monica A.

A haiku or two
To get me off without you –
Don’t mind if I do.
— Karah

I moan, “Oh my God,”
Bless my body with your tongue
I am no angel.
— Monica A.

Taste my galaxy…
Celestial chaos builds,
Eyes closed… stars explode
— Monica A.

With closed eyes I see
The shimmer of distant suns
Lit by my pleasure.
— Karah

I’m a slip’n’slide,
But don’t slip inside. That’s right –
Stay down there and lick!
— Karah

Read more about the Ora by LELO here


One Comment

  1. Thank you so much!!!! I am so excited! People wrote some awesomely creative haikus! I wish everyone could win one =)
    Thanks again emandlo!

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