Are You Smarter in Love Than an Eighth Grader?

We’re cynical biatches, so when someone told us about this eighth grade mash note that a teacher found on her classroom floor (see above), we figured there was a good chance it was faked in some way. But then we read it and we fell in love with the girl asking the question, “R u ready to be there when I’m mad, or need to cry.”

And then our inner feminist yelped like she’d been spanked and was all like, “WTF? Who says it’s a girl asking that question? How do you know it’s not a boy asking a girl, So chicken is more important than me?

Whoever she or he is, they are our new role model for communication between or among the sexes. If only all relationships could begin with written confirmation that, yes, you are the only thing I care about unless I’m hungry and there’s fried chicken. Not the girl who sits at the desk behind you or the boy whose mom drives you to school or the idiot on the cheerleading team or the meathead who plays football.

People, take inspiration from this. What the hell, why not just go retro and actually pass notes next time you’re at a bar with a new partner? They might find it endearing when you write, while dotting your i’s with heart shapes, “Have you ever had, or do you currently have, an STD?” and, “If I freak out about my cat dying and call you twice in one day, do you promise not to dump me because I’m too needy?”

Communication, people. It’s simple eighth-grade shit and it can save a broken heart.


One Comment

  1. Not to mention the barking honesty of “Unless I’m eating fried chicken” tempered by the equally earnest “Only fried chicken and only when I’m hungry.”

    That’s awesome too.


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