All posts by Em & Lo

Almost Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Silicone Lubes
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pink_lubricantPink love gel

The future of sex is silicone, and the future of sex is now. (And, no, this has nothing to do with fake ta-tas.) Yesterday we covered silicone toys, today it’s silicone lube. It feels and works just like oil — i.e., it’s waterproof (bring on the shower nozzle!), a little goes a long way, and it’s longer lasting than water-based lubes because it doesn’t absorb into the body. But, unlike oil, it’s safe to use on latex condoms and dams (bring on the hardcore bum lovin’!). It’s the only inert lube out there, meaning it won’t react at all with your own body’s chemistry—though if a silicone lube contains additives, as Pink does (see below), it’s no longer considered inert. You can even shave with it (to help keep the razor sharper longer). (more…)

Most Useless iPhone App Ever Claims to Rate Your Sex Life
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passion_iphone_app

Maybe we’re just jealous because we’re still trying to come up with an iPhone application that will make us millions while we sleep (why oh why did we not come up with iFart first?), but we think that the new Passion iPhone app that scores your boinks has about as much to do with good sex as a fart joke. We admit that we haven’t road-tested the application — $4.99?! Are you kidding? — but this description tells us all we need to know: The timer measures duration, the microphone measures orgasm, and the accelerometer (the iPhone’s built-in motion sensor) measures activity. In other words, an hour-long jack-hammer-style session that leaves a woman yelping in pain from the genital equivalent of rug burn will be a big winner! Same goes for that Meg Ryan wannabe who fakes her way through three octaves. (And yes, there’s a “high scores” board if you want to brag about that rug burn.)

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Almost Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Silicone Toys
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tantus_silicone_vibeSilicone “Theta” from Tantus

Silicone is an inorganic polymer. Or, better put, the safest soft material for anything you’re going to insert in your bod — no contest. Here’s the long list explaining why: There are no pores to harbor bad bacteria, you can put it in your dishwasher, you can sterilize it by boiling it in water or cleaning it with a 10-percent bleach solution, you can swab it with alcohol, it’s hypoallergenic, it’s inert (so it won’t react with other materials), it’s long-lasting, and it has little to no odor. Plus, silicone toys are often made by small companies that design them in-house — they hand-pour the molds in small batches to create effective, functional toys. For all these reasons, silicone toys cost more, but they’re oh, so worth it! (more…)

Confession: My BF and I Created a Fantasy Suggestion Box
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suggestion_boxphoto by hashmil

Our contributor, who wishes to remain anonymous, has a confession to make:

My boyfriend and I used to fuck like bunnies.  And I don’t mean we were cute and cuddly in bed — I mean, we did it like they do on the Discovery Channel.  We couldn’t keep our dirty little paws off each other.  The sex was wild and wanton and all we could think about was how much more we wanted of each other. And then two years of passion passed and my once savage sex drive plummeted.

I felt terrible.  My boyfriend was lonely and full of lust, while I was sleepy and stressed from school and work. I shrugged off his attempts to seduce me, which frustrated him (and me) even more. When we did have sex, it was boring and bland, which made me want sex even less — and left my boyfriend less than satisfied. I knew I had to find a way to resuscitate our sex life. (more…)

Dream Interpretation: OMG I Slept with My Mom!
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Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a male reader asks Lauri:

I have sex with my mom in my dreams WTH is that all about?

Lauri: Yes, major “Eew!” factor with this one.  But fear not!  Remember, dreams are symbolic and not to be taken literally.  Sex, to the dreaming mind, is not always about a physical union you want, but is more often about a psychological union you need.  Do you need to connect with your mom in some way?  Have you drifted apart, or do you no longer get along?  Your dream may be urging you to re-unite. Or do you guys have an awesome relationship?  If so, you may get this dream whenever you two really connect and get each other.
(more…)

The World Needs More Male Nudes
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kristen_cophamphoto by E.M. for the Examiner.com

The Examiner just reminded us of that Guerilla Girls ad: “Less than 3% of the artists in the Modern Art sections [of the Metropolitan Museum in NY] are women, but 83% of the nudes are female.” They brought it up in a profile of Lower East Side-based artist Kristen Copham, since she’s working on a series of male nudes — specifically naked portraits of guy artists who use models in their own work, in an effort to 1) give those dudes a taste of their own medicine, and 2) help even the playing field of undressed subjects. Check out her work, including some of these nudes, at NY Studio Gallery, which she is the founder and director of. (The super fast portraits she does are pretty cool, too.)

Read the full post on SUNfiltered

Browser Beware: Google Goggles
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photo via flickr

Google goggles are the rose-tinted glasses through which you view a new paramour after an exhaustive Internet search on them yields very impressive results: a book written in the Amazon top 100, a library wing named after them, a gorgeous portrait taken by Herb Ritz, a Pulitzer, etc. You might do this after a particularly riveting email exchange with someone you met online, before or after a blind date, after a one-night stand, or just about anyone you’ve considering sleeping with (or sleeping with again).

But while this person may be good on paper (or, should we say, on Web pages), they may not be good for you in person. Your Google goggles may prevent you from recognizing this before you agree to a second date or to sex, whichever comes first. We know that pigs will fly out of your ass before you stop Googling everyone you meet, from your new dentist to the new hottie at the dog run, so all we’ll say is this: Don’t believe everything you read online. Unless you read it on this site.

For more hook-up terminology, check out our book Rec Sex: An A-Z Guide to Hooking Up

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Naked News (07-27-09)
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berlusconiphoto via Alessio85

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Blog Snog (07-24-09)
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daniel_radcliffe_harry_potterphoto by freshwater2006

A weekly roundup of some of our favorite sex- and love-related posts from various blogs and websites:

Durex Sells Sex Well
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We love when sex isn’t just limited to hot 20-something models with eating disorders (via Gawker)

When every product from cars to instant rice tries to use sex to sell itself, it’s refreshing to see a commercial actually using sex appropriately. A new one from Durex (above, and the first in the list after the jump) reminded us that they’re the leaders in sex accessory promotion, with funny, clever, provocative, often US-banned spots that are sexier and subtler than any cheap Carl’s Jr ads.

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

Do It Tonight: Treat Yourself to a Pebble Vibe
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lelo_nea_pebble_vibeThe Lelo Nea at GoodVibes.com

You know those sand-buffed pebbles that you find on the beach that feel so nice in the palm of your hand? They’re pleasant and comforting to hold in your pocket, like nature’s own worry beads. Well, pebble vibrators are the X-rated version of this: external vibrators that fit perfectly in the palm of your hand — or, even better, between two bodies during intercourse. Their elfin size makes them discreet, non-threatening, travel-friendly bedside accessories.

The ultimate pebble vibrators are made by Swedish design company Lelo — check out their floral Nea vibrator or their silky smooth Lily vibe. Sure, they’re not the cheapest of sex toys, but in this case, you get what you pay for: beautiful, incredibly well-made, rechargeable vibrators that come in impeccably tasteful packaging. Betcha can’t find that during a long walk on the beach.

About Last Night’s Text…
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drinks_phone

photo by jlcwalker

It’s official: TextsFromLastNight.com has replaced FAIL Blog as our new favorite site. Okay, so maybe that’s a little rash. But we’re at least prepared to call it a tie. We can’t believe that no one thought of doing this before. Tagline: “Remember that text you shouldn’t have sent last night? We do.” At least half the texts on this site prove that friends shouldn’t let friends text drunk. But, hey, if you’re going to do it anyway, at least now the rest of us get to enjoy them (and yeah, we know that some are probably fake, but so are half the entries on America’s Funniest Home Videos, and that show still cracks us up). Here are a few of our recent faves:

: he said he didn’t have a condom.
: and you said?
: that that’s fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah – he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

: Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

: I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend’s twin last night…and he didn’t stop me.
: How was it?
: Fantastic, but that’s not the point.

: i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

: i want you now
: you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother…or stop drinking so much…I don’t want to see this

: ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.

: and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.

: I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..

: What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex… Can I get a ride home?

: onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
: he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?

• This post is a part of Sundance Channel’s Naked Love Blog
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Dear Em & Lo: BF Doesn’t Want Me, But Can’t Live Without Me
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photo via flickr

Dear Em and Lo,

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. A few months ago we took a break and I moved out. I was really having a great time, but he showed up with roses and tears promising everything would change and that he couldn’t live without me. Fast Forward four months and he is once again being the most selfish person alive. I can deal with tantrums but one thing I can’t deal with is the fact that he is always too tired for sex. I’m a nympho! I want it three or four times a day and we haven’t had sex in a month and that ended with me hopping off and saying, “That’s okay, I figured you weren’t really into it.” Last night I initiated, as usual, and started going down which was fine. When I moved to get on top, he said, “Just stop, you know I’m too tired and you know it makes me feel bad, but you do it anyway.” So I resumed my position, gave him a blowjob, smoked a cigarette, and went to bed. How the hell am I supposed to feel? He lived alone for ten years before he met me. So he has made a ton of changes and I appreciate that, but everything else in the relationship is about him. I’m not a bad person, but I think about cheating all of the time just because I need to feel like somebody wants me. What do I do? Help!

— Neglected Nympho

Dear N.N.,

Remind us why you took him back again? Did this guy hypnotize you? Drug you? Get you to join his own private cult? Seriously: roses and tears?! That’s what you’re supposed to get when he tells you that he didn’t really mean to say that your butt looks big in those jeans. But after a mini-break, he needs to actually prove that he’s already changed, not make some vague promise that he will change. Eventually. When he gets a round tuit.

(more…)

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