Our post “My Boyfriend Has a Small Penis….At Least, It’s Small to Me” has the most comments of anything on EMandLO.com — almost 1000! And they just keep coming. Not all of them are helpful . . . or sane. So it’s nice when we get a tempered voice of reason. This week it was from John:
Going to share something to make a point: My wife has a condition call endometriosis. Basically her “red army” is bigger than most and more painful. As such, she cannot bear children. Trying to adopt through the foster system, which is not as easy as you’d think.
I share that to bring up the point that it is her body and she cannot control that. I have no intention of leaving her. For one, we love each other. Also, it would be wrong to leave someone over something that person cannot control.
The only reason to be with or not be with someone is character. Does he treat you with respect? Is he a hard worker? Does he have a good job or otherwise can he hold a job? Is he honest? Faithful? Would he be a good provider? Would he be a good husband and father? Those are the questions and every man has the right to prove he can be all those things.
The size of his penis is something he has no control over. To be blunt, it is wrong to either be with or not be with a man based on the size of his penis. No ifs, ands or buts. You know you are wrong if you consider leaving a guy for that. You should have empathy for him if it’s really that small.
You should not dump the guy, laugh at him and tell all your girlfriends about him. How would you feel if there was something about you that you had no control over? You’d want your man to love you regardless.
— John
Out of all the near 1000 comments on that blog. John’s is the best comments written by a man. It really puts this issue in it’s proper perspective and shows what truly is important in life. The two key words that John used in his comments are “character” and “love”. John did what anyone who had character and love in his heart and fully support and stand by his wife. Now, I’m sure John would be flattered but wouldn’t want to be made into some kind of hero. He just went with his character and followed his heart. I read so many wonderful stories of other men doing the same thing. If a woman develops breast cancer and have to have her breasts surgically removed, does a man think of her as less of a woman and love her any less and leave her? Of course not. Not if he is a man of character and love. The same goes for if a woman has cancer and must be treated with chemotherapy where the side effects include losing her hair. A man wouldn’t love her any less and think of her less of a woman and leave her if that scenario happened either. On a support group site I visit, I read comments from this wonderful, sweet, kind woman named IrmaJean. She explained what happened to her. After giving birth to her third child, she lost the nerve feelings and sensations in her vagina. She now can no longer have an orgasm. Her sexual organs are no longer fully functional. She was so afraid that her husband would love her less and think of her as less of a woman because of what happened to her vagina. Fortunately, her husband’s reaction showed the great character and love John showed his wife. IrmaJean’s husband’s feelings toward her have not changed and they make love on a regular basis. These stories just warm your heart and what relationships should really be about.
Unfortunately, the complete opposite stories is what I read all over the internet that I’ve read with the penis size issue. One survey results from over 2,000 women showed that 20% of them broken up with a man in the past because his penis was too small. I have read surveys where the numbers are as high as 33% where a woman broken up with a man because of penis size. These numbers are so staggering and alarming. That so many women have no character, have no love in their hearts, and are morally bankrupt is the real tragedy and not the small penis. As John said, to break up with someone over penis size is just wrong, no iffs, ands, or butts. How can these women do something so cruel to a man I will never understand because there is no legitimate defense for those behaviors and actions. None. Someone asks a woman, how’s your relationship going with the guy you’re seeing? Her answer, “I broke up with him.”. The questioner asks, why ,what did he do to hurt you? She answers, “because he has a small penis.” Do people have have any idea how cruel and shallow that sounds? Anyone with intelligence and a heart does. There are many good reasons for a woman to break up with a man. Penis size is not one of them. The man didn’t do anything wrong and did nothing to hurt the woman. He was just born with a small penis that he has no control over. The woman should be far less judgmental and intolerant and far more compassionate and understanding. This analogy totally fits with a man breaking up with a woman over a body part that she can’t control. By breaking up with him, you are punishing him for something that wasn’t his fault. That is just so cold, cruel and mean. A woman would be just as shattered and devastated if a man behaved so abominably regarding a body part of hers but this high percentage of women feel it’s okay to do that to men. Like I said, any women who does that, her bad attitude, questionable character, and lack of heart is the the problem and who is really at fault, not the man with the small penis. I wish everyone could read John’s comments. It’s just a shame that John’s great comments in his own situation and the accurate analogy to penis size was ignored by Em&Lo’ readers. Everyone should read his comments as a great lesson in life about what true love and great character is all about.
John is right of course but I doubt many women will see it that way. Unfortunately sex is an important part of a relationship and an important part of life. Let’s face it the only reason we were put on earth is to eat, sleep, fuck and have children. Everything else is just gravy. Whether a mans small penis is a deal breaker should be up to each woman to decide. She shouldn’t be made to feel she HAS to stay with him no matter what. It’s a pity that women have to wait until we get intimate before they find out what we have. Most of the things guys might find deal breakers we can see long before we actually get intimate. In fact most we see before we might even approach a woman so if a guy does reject a woman for being too fat, too small boobs etc she will never know anything about it. I don’t begrudge a woman not wanting to be with me because I only have 4″ in fact I expect it.