Can You Beat the Urge to Stray with One Freebie a Year?

photo via flickr

“If I tell my child, ‘No pizza, no pizza, no pizza,’ what does he want more than anything Pizza!”

And so it is with her husband and sex, claims Russian pop star Masha Lopatova. She is married to Andrei Kirilenko, a basketball player for the Brooklyn Nets — and she has told him he can sleep with one woman a year, for one night only.

We like her reasoning: After all, the forbidden is always more desirable. And so far, it seems to be working: Kirilenko claims he hasn’t acted on the offer yet.

“If something isn’t allowed you, you want to get it,” he said. “But if it is allowed to you, you will not need it.”

But here’s the catch: The agreement is not reciprocal. So what happens, a decade into the marriage, if Lopatova suddenly experiences her urge to stray and is doubly frustrated because (a) she’s not allowed to and (b) her husband IS allowed to?

Also, what if Kirilenko sleeps with one woman one time and then wants the forbidden thing: to see that woman again — without waiting 365 days to do so?

What do you think: Can this sort of arrangement bolster monogamy and help a good marriage last longer? Or is it a recipe for disaster if the arrangement is so one-sided? Is it even possible to curb the urge to stray with a once-a-year freebie like this?



  1. Such an arrangement only works for playas who are good at picking up the opposite sex. I didn’t date much in high school, and the few times I tried I failed miserably. I avoided it after that. So to get a free-pass day (not that I’d ever get one) would just be a waste of my time.

  2. And you believe that all people cheat because you yourself have poor impulse control and can’t keep it in YOUR pants? That doesn’t convince me at all.

  3. You believe that those celebrities don’t/have never cheated because they say they don’t or because they present like hy don’t? That doesn’t convince me at all.

  4. I don’t agree that “there is no fidelity among the rich and gorgeous.” Dustin Hoffman has said that he never cheated on his wife (although adding that he didn’t think monogamy was natural). I also believe that there are other celebrities that have never strayed, among them Tom Hanks (who famously had quickies during barbecues friends would attend years into his marriage), possibly Hugh Jackman and other celebs who are, coincidentally, still with their longtime partners.

    Most do stray, though, and that is why their relationships rarely last.

  5. All bets are off with celebrities. They’re too hot, too rich, spend too much time apart, and face too much temptation. I guarantee that guy sleeps with as many women as he wants – not his alloted one per year. She might or might not sleep around right now, but she will as soon as she feels like it, or is able to justify it in her mind, or as soon as she feels an emotional connection with a guy besides her husband. There is no fidelity among the rich and gorgeous.

    For the rest of us, yeah, it could work. I would happily take my one pass per year and keep my pants up the rest of the time. I’d let my gal do the same, but she’s the no-reciprocity one in our relationship. She wouldn’t hear of me sleeping around.

    Not that I put too much stock in promises of life-long fidelity from anyone, including myself or my girl. That’s a taaaaaall order.

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