Dear Em & Lo: I’m 22, Should I Pursue a 35-Year-Old Man?

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Dear Em & Lo,

I have been acquaintances with this man for about 3 years, but recently (within the last few months), he started talking to me more and we’ve been talking regularly since then. Because of his behavior and some things he has said to me, everyone thinks he has a thing for me and I get that impression from him too. At first I chose to ignore it because he is around 35 years old (not sure of his exact age) and I’m only 22. However, lately I’ve been finding myself more and more attracted to him as we talk and joke around with each other.

I usually do date guys who are a little older than me, but I’ve never thought about dating someone a decade or more older. I know people get crushes all of the time and you don’t have to act on every crush you have… I’ll admit I’m not sure how I feel about the age difference. Is this something I should pursue or should I just let it go as a simple crush and nothing more?

— Miss May, Crushing on Mr. December

Dear M.M.C.O.M.D.,

Go for it! You’re twenty-two, what the hell do you have to lose? Just keep things light and fun and don’t lose your sense of self or your idea of what you want and need out of a relationship. Be just as demanding or flighty as you would be with  a twenty-two-year-old guy. It’s easy to let an older guy take the lead, just because he’s, well, older — but trust us, he’s not necessarily wiser.

In fact, this might be the only time you actually enjoy dating a thirty-five-year-old guy. Because when you get to your thirties yourself — should you find yourself still dating — thirty-five-year-old guys may well drive you crazy (and not in a good way). And yes, this is in no small part because of their continued obsession with dating twenty-two-year-olds despite a stated desire to get married and have children with a woman who is their equal in everything from intellect to life experience.

Not that we’re bitter or anything.*

– Em & Lo

* Seriously, we’re not bitter. Probably because we’re both happily off the dating market!



  1. I agree, go for it. I am your age and recently dated someone who is 13 years older. Age had nothing to do with the demise, older certainly does not mean wiser! However, I did learn quite a bit more about the 80s.

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