Reader “Don” had this to say in response to our post “How Many Partners Officially Makes You a Slut?” While we can see the benefits of reclaiming the word and wearing it as a badge of honor, we also appreciate, like Don, the importance of not using it any self-denigrating way, however subtly:
Once, a close friend described herself as a slut. I got angry with her. The word has such negative connotations that simply do not apply to her, now or in the past. She was a wonderful woman that had a lot of love to give. The fact that she saw having sex with men when not in a romantic liaison as something that was wrong […was, well, wrong]. I asked her, when she slept with [these men], did she feel nothing for her partners in the moment? She answered, except for a couple, [that] she always felt connected in the moment. There you go! (Just so you know I never slept with her.)
A closer look at slut-shaming:
In Defense of the Slut
Totally agree with you guys, Nikki and bkylnbug. There are some words that are just hard to reclaim because they’ve been used in one way for so long. We really should just take slut out of our vocabulary.
I think this is such an interesting discussion. I totally understand the idea of wanting to reclaim words like slut and bitch for women and as something to be proud of, but when there’s SUCH a negative connotation it’s hard to entirely reclaim it. I agree with you bklynbug, it has been used to control women politically and I don’t think you can entirely reclaim a word like that.
Well said, Don. But I agree with AlanK, the term is much more political and used to control women and their sexuality. I refuse to be labeled by others. I have sex with whomever I choose, whenever I choose. I am empowered by my sexuality.
As AlanK said: “do you mean I enjoy sex and don’t let others tell me how to live? How sad that you don’t.”
Nicely put! You are so right